Reviewer: It Was Me Signed [Report This]
Date: September 30 2024 5:46 PM Title: Chapter 19 - Catching Up

So I feel like I understand Alice a whole lot better after this chapter.

She wasn't just experiencing the absence of a close friend when Jordan disappeared; she had lost her constant, the one person who was always there for her. Not to mention that she already seems to have abandonment issues because of her shitty parents, so it makes total sense that Jordan leaving and not coming back would be a bit traumatic for her.

This also made that first line of dialogue, "You're home," hit a lot harder, too, so it was a good time to introduce this information to us.

I like the small ways you're keeping the "side arc" of Jordan's foot fetish alive. That bit where Alice crossed her legs and bobbed her foot in front of Jordan, having no idea what she was doing to him, was subtle enough to not distract from the emotion of the moment but just blatant enough for us to believe that it would catch Jordan's attention. I'm enjoying how he's just starting to come to terms with this part of himself, too!

It was nice of Leila to excuse herself so that the two friends could have some alone time to catch up, but it was fun to imagine Leila "upgrading" from Fay to borrower, roaming around the apartment looking for things Alice wouldn't miss. Or would that be downgrading? Either way, it sounds super cute!

Also, I like how accommodating Alice is with Leila. It was really sweet of her to tell Leila to make make herself at home.

One thing that stuck out to me here was how Alice picked him up once they got through the initial awkwardness of the situation. Back at the part, when Alice didn't know it was Jordan, she asked permission first. But I feel like now that she knows its Jordan, the familiarity between them makes her just plucking him off the bed and bringing him to her face seem less intrusive than even that time at the park. That trust flows so naturally between them that he doesn't mind just being picked up like that, and she just knows that he's cool with it.

I love how much Alice tries to soothe Jordan in that moment, too, although I don't think she fully understood why Jordan felt uncomfortable. Feeling small can be interpreted in a few ways, but I came away from that scene thinking that Jordan was shy and embarrassed to be in front of his hidden crush, the girl he described as a goddess, back when he saw her standing in the forest, while Alice thinks she's inadvertently intimidating him. Still, those three words, "It's just me," worked all the same and let him calm himself.

Alice reflecting back on her time with tiny Jordan in the park seems like a pretty logical way for her to go. I really like how she tried to see things from his perspective, though. She didn't focus on how cute he was or feel embarrassed that she didn't recognize him, but instead, her first thought was how weird it must have been for him to be treated that way by her, his best friend. You mentioned that Alice is the type of person who usually puts others first, and this is a perfect example of that. It also set up some heartfelt words from Jordan that really touched her, too, so that selflessness was rewarded!

I also love that Alice keeps naturally complimenting Jordan whenever he talks about her. Her murmuring "You're such a sweet little charmer" seems like something she said almost automatically, like a thought that just popped out of her mouth before she even realized it. That Jordan's words can illicit such natural reactions is another way we can see how much he means to her, which is particularly important, as I think Jordan is closer to coming to terms with his true feelings for Alice than she is for hers on him . Alice needs to catch up!

This chapter was a great follow-up to that big reunion moment, and I'm glad you're really taking your time with these two rediscovering each other after their time away. I'm eager to see what you've got for us next!

Author's Response:

The thing about her parents is a bit of info that I brought back into the story from way back in the intro sequence from the very first chapter, since it's easy to forget after several chapters :) Since Alice really had no one, and Jordan was the first person to reach out to her, she had come to see him as her real family.

Yeah, I didn't want the moment to turn into a fullblown foot scene, really just him coming to terms with his not-that-secret interest. I'm sure at some point he'll have no choice but to fully admit to it but for now, he's trying his hardest not to focus on that haha.

The fact Jordan was uncomfortable was definitely because he was shy and embarassed looking like a tiny person with a different appearance. Of course, Alice just thinks he's scared of her but she's not really aware of his true feelings for her just yet.

I'm glad you're enjoying the current chapter! I really like people catching each other up on events from while they were separated. It also functions like a bit of a recap for the reader, which might or might not be boring, which I hope it isn't, but I like interlude chapters where they just have a chat about things that happened they weren't aware of, or what happened to one another, it's something people would do IRL as well instead of just moving on and not discussing anything so I like to keep a bit of realistic conversation going :) Thanks as always for the review, I always appreciate the insight!