[Report This]Date: September 20 2024 1:47 PM Title: Chapter 10 - Abandoned
I was almost screaming throughout chapter 10, wanting for Jordan to go to Alice, for Alice to look back just a little! God, I wanted to cry with Jordan at the end! And the scenes with Jordan at Alice’s feet, both scared and mesmerized, and Alice almost finding him, almost touching him without knowing. All the descriptions and feelings. 9 and 10 best chapters!
I hate Leila now! The way she dismisses everything and is só allof towards Jordan gets on my nerves! - It’s marvelous when characters manage to draw these raw emotions from me in such a organic way.
I hate Leila now, but I have a hunch I will come to like her further down the line - as she will come to like Jordan… which is a problem. Since he was human, his family will most likely notify authorities he is missing. And Alice will most likely despair, feeling responsible for dragging Jordan to the park – Emily probably won’t lose the chance of blaming her too… or maybe not. Maybe she will try to help and the two will come back looking for J...
It would be funny for Emily to instantly recognize Jordan. Like, they find him and Alice is all “oh, see this is J…” and Emily is like “Alice… it’s Jordan”.
Let me say this again: your story is darn good. There are many darn good stories on the site, each with it's spins, it's ups and downs. And yours is one of them.
Just a final observation: in chapter 9, whe Leila said “Shrinking a full-grown human down to your size...”, I think you meant her to say down to our size.
As always, thanks for writing and sharing with us. Count on me for following this one until the end.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the heads-up on the mistake, I corrected it! And Leila isn't all she seems to be yet, even though she's definitely a troublemaker :)