[Report This]Date: September 18 2024 1:16 PM Title: Chapter 8 - Pursuit
I know I should not like Emily, but since I know what it’s like to be alone while wanting to be part of something from experience … so yeah. Thumbs up for Alice and her kindness towards Emily. But kindness has it's limits.
It’s obvious Jordan wants things to be back to normal, who wouldn’t? But chapters 7 and 8 gave us a interesting insight as to why: a misture of fear and wanting to go back to how things were… Ah but this is not just the fear of the unknown anymore: it’s a sensation of losing what is known to him. Wouldn’t Jordan want to be by Alice side no matter what? Yes. But would Alice want him even them? Let me explain. Since the begining Jordan is presented as Alice’s rock, someone who accepted and gave protection when no one eles would. Someone who provided. Family, as the title says. Now he is not even human, is he? He can’t provide her with anything, why would she still want to keep this tiny Jordan near?
That’s why he feels as if his sense of self, his place in the world is at stake despite still being the same person. Alice is his rock in the world too.
All this problem comes back to one person – Leila. It’s clear Jordan doesn’t want to risk putting Alice in the same sittuation he is in, but is Leila even capable of reproducing what she did? Why hide instead of just shrinking Alice too? Why not just turn him back to normal and get this over with? Clear there is more about this transformation magic that was cast upon him.
Then we have the other way around: how will Alice react upon learning that Jordan can't be by her side anymore? That her Jordan is going off with some stranger to a world she isn’t allowed… and because of what? Some stupid tiny people, some stupid legend she dragged Jordan to... Yes, before Leila, there was Alice. It's because of her that Jordan is where he is in the first place. Guilty mixed with love. I know she is a ok. person, but I am willing to bet Alice would rather stomp Leila and let the forest burn before being ok. with that. Yeah... Leila is in trouble.
Again you make a very compelling portrayal of a coming of age love story, making the best of short chapters. It’s incredible. Usually short chapters mean less development, but you make good use of the space for character exposure and build up – and great description of Alice’s footsteps from Jordan and Leila’s perspective at the end of chapter 8, it made the size difference, the danger Alice really is to her friend now more clear.
As always, thanks for writing and sharing with us. And thank you for the quick and constant updates! Did you had then ready beforehand? If so, do you already know how many chapters the story is likely to have? No pressure! I just ask because every time I find a really good story on the site, together comes the fear it will not be finished.
I just ask you to continue. Your story is darn good! Stay safe!
Author's Response:
Thanks a lot for the detailed insight! I have a large part of the story finished so I can put out a chapter a day, I couldnt say how many chapters it will be but it'll go on for a while.
I'm not sure myself if the story is really any good or well written compared to a lot of the good stuff on here, it's my very first story but I'm hard on myself. But as long as at least one person enjoys reading it, then it's worth putting it on the site.