Another review from me.

It is nice to see that Chloe seems capable of actual genuine affection. Still a hellish situation, but one born more of the ignorance and immaturity of her character rather than the sociopathy Carly demonstrates. I think you did a good job of demonstrating the thought process of "I'm having fun, so he must be having fun too!" that someone that age would likely have.

In regards to "getting" the story, I admit that my continued interest in this series actually isn't from wanting to see Jack reunite with his parents or with someone who actually will treat him like a human being. Would I love to see it? Sure. But it's secondary to my actual interest: The hope that Carly will get what she deserves when all is said and done, and I can think of nothing more fitting for a person that's done what she's done and built up that little world around herself to find herself stripped of every single bit of that at the end.

As I alluded to over in my YouPet review, it really is wonderful to see this being updated again. Outside of Rise of a Princess, this really is my favorite of your works simply because of the opportunity it gives you to flex your extremely impressive range.

The trio continues to entertain in their possessiveness, and one thing I enjoy about their interactions with Peter is that they want him to choose to interact with their group, to the point where they actually put down others in an attempt to impress into his mind that they are the group he wants to associate with. It's a different form of domination than the usual, and it's quite fun to read.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review bud. I'm aware that this and Princess are really my only gentle-focused stories, which is something I intend to work on at some point. The domination aspect of it is something I was eager to play on in a story like this since these kinds of girls would be doing it much more subtly than the psychos I normally write about.

I can't help but be overly amused at Carly pretending she didn't already have her valentine picked out the moment she woke up.

Huh, I guess that answers the bemused thought I had of "What If Judy had been Jack and Carly's mother and found him."

Just wanted to pop in and comment on how good your writing continues to be both in prose and character development, and that you continue to be my go-to source for a pit in my stomach.

I've been debating posting this review for the past several days simply because I was unsure if I should, given that the actual content of this story/series is not really meant for me at all.  I figured I may as well at least get it off my chest, though, because I'm tired of thinking about it. This is more narrative and character analysis, and I fully admit that I'm probably looking a bit too much into my own tastes with it, but oh well.

I'll preface the rest with just one quick statement: None of the below is meant to absolve Scott of his culpability whatsoever. He fucked up bad, and he obviously has to eventually make that right.

But ultimately, he's not the only person in that house with that culpability. Judy is not blameless for what happened, and her physical and emotional abuse of her son over the course of his formative years lead directly to his lifestyle and what happened to that woman. A hallmark of abused people is that they tend to hugely fuck up later as a result of it, and that's basically what I see at play here. Narratively, I find it sickening that Scott has actually been sentenced to suffer at the hands of the person who is ultimately just as guilty of the crime as he is, for no other reason than the fact that his mother essentially made her abuses legal in the eyes of the law. It's essentially her manipulations coming full circle: She broke her son through her own sociopathic hedonism to the point where not only did he lose his escape from her abuse, but he lost it through something that society at large will pin solely on him because rarely do people look beyond the surface of why some people act the way they do.

It's why I got such a pit in my stomach over the falling out with Kyle: He and Scott are, in my eyes, the only two people in that house who actually care about that woman and her child. Yes, Scott massively fucked up in that talk, but I really hope that as time goes by, Kyle starts to see that his older brother is sorry for what he did and that the two people having their way with him don't care about the woman, they care about the opportunity Scott gave them.

On Maggie...

Well, I honestly snarled in disgust when she mentioned that woman and her baby to Scott because, as more or less stated above, no part of me believes that she cares. Judy's done a good job of raising a girl she can live vicariously through. It has always struck me that Judy doesn't seem to demand of Maggie what she liked in Ella during the first story: That despite enjoying the domination, she loved Scott as a person. But I get the feeling some things about Judy have changed since.

But, on the other hand, and this may be me looking for what I hope to be there:

I think Scott's apology did more than he may think it did. Maggie, ultimately, is not Judy. She is incredibly opportunistic, but I don't believe she has ever shown the sheer manipulativeness that Judy has, even in Boot Camp. That ability to always leave you guessing as to what she's really thinking. Maggie is honest, if not in words, then in actions and mannerisms. Most of Scott's fuckups with her come from bad decisions where he either refuses to read or react to her very unsubtle personality. But for just a moment there, her little persona broke, and I think (and hope) that moment might be genuine. In the short term, I don't expect it to do anything for him. But it might be a seed he can cultivate as time passes by simply taking any opportunity he can to behave a like a brother to her, whether it be potentially helping her with homework or just being the only person there for her to talk to if something happens in her personal life outside of the house.

Boy that was a lot of words about a fetish story.

Author's Response:

That certainly was quite a few words about a fetish story! I appreciate the thought you've given your opinion on this, especially since, as you say, the content itself isn't to your tastes (I believe I remember you saying you lean more towards gentle content).  Your take on Judy's culpability is pretty spot-on, and is definitely something I want readers to take into account when they see how much a winner she comes out of this whole thing. Even outside of fetish stories, it always interests me to consider the blame of outside factors when an individual commits a heinous act, either intentionally or not. Kyle is certainly the only member of the family solely focused on the actual victims, and as these stories go on he will come to be a little more in Scott's corner. As for Maggie, you're quite correct that she is not completely her mother's daughter. Judy is a power-hungry matriarch, and while Maggie does relish having control over Scott, her desires come out of a deeper hurt and adolescent emotion as opposed to Judy's purely dominating instincts; so, it is fair to say that not all hope is lost for Scott in convincing her to come around to his side as well.  Thanks again for your thoughts on this!

Very interesting and informative chapter. Seems like things might be about to escalate a bit, especially with Mary there since I can't imagine Ramona won't contact her about what happened to Greg.

Random thoughts:

Sammy is a good girl. That said, you have her age listed as 5 over in Runt of the Litter, but in a response you said she was 8.

Can't help but wonder what happened between Ramona and Greg at graduation. I can't help but think that Ramona made expressed not just her power, but that she could easily upgrade from Greg if she so chose.

Fuck Barbara. Forever and always.

Didn't see Sheila and Amy becoming friends. That should be interesting.

Even more interesting is that Sheila is apparently on good terms with Tyler's family. I wonder how much longer that will last, though, when she shows up at his party, potentially causing Rain to let his family know what she's been doing at school.

If Ramona finds out about Lauren's involvement in stealing from Greg, I can only hope she's able to do something to make it right in Ramona's eyes. Cause uhhhh damn.

A part of me wonders if Ramona's anger might lead her to asking Walter if he knows anyone who might have been involved in the mugging.

Liana's story was surprisingly cute despite the...cruelty to it. It's nice to see that she really does have some manner of attachment to Jack.

So really, another good chapter. Will continue to eagerly wait for more.

Oh, Ramona is not going to be a happy person, is she?

Another good chapter. Greg's boss ultimately ended up being a bit...nicer, than I expected her to be, and it was pleasing to see that she isn't without empathy.

But seriously though, I was hoping for more reasons for Ramona to flex her muscle and this might just provide it. Poor Greg, though.

Ugh that is a huge bummer on that last chapter. Maybe someone has it saved, I wish I did. I trawled through google's cache but the most recent version of this I could find was before you posted Sibling Rivalry.

Enjoyed this chapter, glad to see I was more or less right on Sheila :P. Enjoyed that most of understanding between her and Rain, and I'm looking forward to seeing what the latter can do and how that relationship goes.

Also meant to comment on this earlier:

It was really nice to see a bit more of Amy in this chapter, and that she really does love her dad and isn't any threat to abandon him like her mother did. It was very sweet.

Oh, I was wondering if we'd get the chance to see someone elevate, and this is a wonderful situation for it.

As tempting as voting for Class 3 is just due to curiosity over what sort of abilities you have in mind, I don't feel I can deny poor Tyler the opportunity to look up at yet another woman in his life. So Class 2 it is.

Outside of that, great to see another update on this. Every day I hope for one. You have a wonderful little work going on here.