Sydney lived all of her life regretting one single action she made as a teenager. When's she's given the chance to make amends, she doesn't hesitate.
Mushy rom-com levels of gentle interaction in a GTS story, while still being literate? Well, you've got me sold! Does make me sad that it's the end of their story, but I'd read a goddamn novel about this subject, so that's probably not a valid criticism.
So, yeah, really good job.
Hah, wow. Thank you. Reading this before heading into work is kinda giving my day a good start. I'm glad you liked it, and I'm the same way. I love a good, long read with this kind of material... for the most part. Sometimes a little bit of conflict here & there spices things up, too, but then again, the way I ended this story was setting up Sydney to never want Vince to experience conflict again. I'd always wondered about that-- why it's so rare that some of the other gentle stories, the girl lets the shrunk dude out of their sight, and grave misfortunes befall him. Which, is why I had Sydney research the subject while Vince slept. In my mind, he's going to have one very alert protector and lover in the time they spend together from there on out.
My work can never really hold a candle to some of the novel-length stories on this site, but typing short stories seems to be my niche. And, I do give a huge crap about typing fairly decently. Sometimes too much awful grammar can ruin something for me.
Again, thank you, Mechasharkzilla.
Hah, wow. Thank you. Reading this before heading into work is kinda giving my day a good start. I'm glad you liked it, and I'm the same way. I love a good, long read with this kind of material... for the most part. Sometimes a little bit of conflict here & there spices things up, too, but then again, the way I ended this story was setting up Sydney to never want Vince to experience conflict again. I'd always wondered about that-- why it's so rare that some of the other gentle stories, the girl lets the shrunk dude out of their sight, and grave misfortunes befall him. Which, is why I had Sydney research the subject while Vince slept. In my mind, he's going to have one very alert protector and lover in the time they spend together from there on out.
My work can never really hold a candle to some of the novel-length stories on this site, but typing short stories seems to be my niche. And, I do give a huge crap about typing fairly decently. Sometimes too much awful grammar can ruin something for me.
Again, thank you, Mechasharkzilla.
Exiled from the kindgom for something beyond his control, Hector stumbles across a new "ally" in an uncharted forest.
As a quick one-shot, that was nice. Pacing felt a little off, but other than that, good job.
Oh, and my head canon for the future is that Hector's sister returns and defeats Juta in battle with an army in revenge for harming the horse. That horse didn't deserve that. :(
Yeah, I agree with the pacing issue. I wrote it over the course of three days, taking an hour or two here & there, so my mind may have been at different levels of attention when I did. Ah well, I'll accept that critique, lol. Like, when I look at the story as a whole, the first half seems to hardly move anywhere and the last third, soooo much happens so fast. Plus, I personally felt the ending was a bit abrupt, too. And finally, a lot happened in the course of one day-- his sister's fast arrival must have meant she left nearly immediately after Hector was carted off to be abandoned.
Ah, yes, that could be an issue. I would think she would also like to avenge Hector, since she was sent off thinking he was dead, too, though. His sister was a loose end, after all. It's very possible she would either accept defeat at home, or rally an army over time if her zeal for vengeance was strong enough. And, like I've admitted in my replies to the other reviews, Chestnut REALLY didn't deserve any of that. His original fate was a bit more violent, but this is what I toned it down to, and it still turned out pretty mean, haha. Agghh... the real victim in the story wasn't even any of the humans.
Anywho, I'm still glad you liked it overall, 'Mecha.
P.S. In your proposed future for the story, I wonder how Hector would react, who's side would he take? If he had spent enough time with Juta and bonded with her enough, would he forgive her for keeping her sister's initial forest visit a secret? Surely watching his sister arrive with an army and the intent to kill Juta would be a red flag for him.
Thanks for the review. I like hearing genuine feedback from you guys.
