Reviewer: mikeesan Signed 
Date: October 25 2018
Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Sorry for my bit late review. I needed some time to think about and get into the right mood to review. I always tell my opinion and review as good as I can. I am honest straight ahead, I was really disappointed, that you changed my idea for this, and actually changed the most important part for me. So sadly, this chapter didnt work out for me, and I was a bit upset of how you wrote it. Dont get me wrong though, it is written amazingly, and I actually loved most parts of it. You had some fantastic parts in it, which I will of course talk about in a bit. Dont get this as a criticism for your writing skills... because, they are outstanding. Your writing talent is beyond anything, and you are totally my favorite author on here, and I of course would love more than anything to see lots of more chapters to come.
I would had loved this idea to be honest a lot, but sadly, you changed the most important parts of it so far, that I did not enjoy this. For me, personally, it was most important for this, that he does not change inside his mind. He would always stay himself, straight obviously and it would be HELL for him. He would literally feel horrible, disgusted, by doing anything with a man. And it is this disgust and hell, this nightmare, which I enjoy so much, and which drives this story so amazing. Sadly, you changed this, so that Tod "liked" most of what happened to him, the sex scenes for example too, and he might even forget here and there, that he wasnt a girl. That totally ruined it for me. You tried to "turn it around" at some points, but, that was just not working for me. It was most important for me, how he would always be himself inside, and not turn into some "sissy" or even a girl at all.
That is the only criticism I have, and it is a personal one, so dont feel bad about it. Some other people might enjoy this chapter, but it was not much for me. Though I had looking forward for it a lot.
Other from that, the chapter was amazingly written. And I loved it mostly a lot, 10 out of 10, to the transformation point. Actually, it was EPIC written... the kitchen part with how Ashely ignored him, just took some food out of the fridge... and the entire conversation happening there, was just brilliant and one of the best you wrote so far. Totally a 10 out of 10. The idea of Ashely enjoy the transformation and switch back and forth his dick into vagina... was one of the most funniest and cruel ideas you had in the entire story, and I just LOVED it.
I also enjoyed a lot, that typical Ashely, he used some people who had nothing to do with the plot, as a sadistic play, Tods roommates and friends... who had to pay for his actions. Loved that!!
The whole idea of some asshole, aka Tod, or lets better say... a total DICK, has to pay in this style, is totally what the story drives, and I beg you to continue like this. I would totally love to see to turn a guy aka a total asshole into Phils asshole maybe. But maybe also come back to Ashelys anus and the fleshlight too, and give them both another chapter. Why, because that was totally the best chapter so far, and I would love to see Ashely take some shits again without knowing anything about the fate of the girl, and the horror she goes through, vomiting out his shit. And the same, the fleshlight, maybe ending as a shit vessel of taking a shit inside, then thrown away. A bug, maybe baby cockroach tf, would also be cool to see, someone ending as a cum stain or inside one, shrunk to micrsocopic size. Maybe the fleshlight gifted to Phil too would still also be a favorite of mine, but some anus tf concept too.
Talking a bit about the ending. I think an even more cruel one would have been, to turn Tod back into his former male self... but leaving his vagina. And he finds out later in the bathroom. Imagine the horror of that.
Not sure if this was a little mistake or intentional, but I think this line would be better to edit:
"I mean... he was a dildo," Monica told him still smiling at the wickedly sick joke. "Once a dildo always a dildo," Ashley laughed. into
"I mean... he was a dick.," Monica told him still smiling at the wickedly sick joke. "Once a dick, always a dick.," Ashley laughed.
I actually LOVE the irony of this. And you could even have described a bit how the phallus looked like... the irony of him be a dick, and end as one, totally awesome. I even imagined of the didlo be used for some anal fun too, maybe even thrown away after a while being used a lot.
I find it actually also interesting, that it is shown, that Ashely is the brother of Clair, or was that already told before? I LOVE how detailed and complex this story is. The intro of this chapter for example was so well written.
SO... there was still a TON in this chapter I LOVED, and I mean totally LOVED. So dont get me wrong here. I am still giving it a 10 out of 10. One minor little criticism though is, how short the part was with the sex. I would had loved it be way longer, maybe even a blowjob part. And sadly... the thing I disliked about the change, I already told about.
I freaking loved the wake-up scene though. How casual Phil threw her away, like some used condom. As a typical one night stand. That was epic, and my favorite part of the entire chapter. How Tod felt horrible now, and thought about how he treared girls before countless times like this, just some cheap fap material. And now he was one.
I actually would love some more cruel male tf concepts, which have some contact with males, which is just the most sadistic concept. For example a guy ending as Phils anus, or a fleshlight gift for him. Or a condom. Or someone turns into a boxer shorts, or a poster being used as a fap material, then maybe faped on it, and thrown away, landing with a wet plop in the trash bin.
The party part was also enjoyable, and I liked how Ashely gave Tod the command, that he couldn't tell anyone who he really was. I totally wished you had used my idea though. This variant just didnt work out for me.
Other from that. I had still a ton of joy reading this. And I am in love so much with this story. And you are the best. You are just the best. I read stories on here mostly every few days, and most of them are so boring, and badly written. This story and your others before, are just jewls. And I cant wait for the next and other chapters to come. Please dont end this story too soon. There is still a lot to explore and maybe awesome tf. If you do some scat based chapters, I dont mind, and actually would love to be honest, because they are the cruelest. I actually would love to see Ashely point of view to be used while taking a shit while maybe speak on the phone to someone, totally unaware about the horror under him. Turning two or three into baby cockroaches would also be awesome, especially if one of them is cut in half with a shoe dropping on them, maybe while be like I can make it I can mak- and then the frozen horror on his face, when he is cut in half. I could totally see Ashely tell the bugs, how they could still have a chance to survive, where it is all just false hope of course, and he would even work against them.
Thank you for writing. This story became totally one of my favorite ever written. Leave an email maybe by time in your profile, I would love to write a mail to you. And maybe even ask about a commission by time. Wishing all well.
