My mother is standing in front of me, her arms crossed, her sandaled foot tapping expectantly on the ground.

I´m sitting on the couch, trying not to look into her eyes or at Julia next to her.

"So?" the fourty year old says, cocking an eyebrow.
"Do you feel a need to explain why exactly you´ve decided to defy your sister?"

"M-mom I swear I didn´t mean to..." I started stammering.

"How many times have I told you, boy? A man´s place is...?" she says, waiting for me to complete the sentence.

"at the feet of his woman." I said, finishing the mantra.

"Exactly. And you do want to be a man, right?"

"Y-Yes mom" I managed to mumble.

"What was that? Speak up, Thomas." she says, putting her finger under my chin and raising my head, forcing me to look up to her stern face.

"Yes mother." I said.

Her expression lightens up. "Good. And now that you understand this simple truth... Julia, be a dear and seat yourself on the couch." she chimes, gesturing next to me.

This is going to be one of those, isn´t it?

"I know it isn´t easy to become a man." She coos, caressing my arm. "But no worries, I will help you."
Now she´s taking my hand. Yup, she´s totally going to preach her bullshit again.

"The manliest of all virtues is humility." she says while she gently pulls me, signalling me to get up.

"And to achieve humility, you have to surrender. That is your obligation as a man. And your role in society."
she says, putting her hand on my neck and pressing down. This is a sign for me to get on my knees. She´s going all-in, huh?

"Mom, plea-." I plead, before getting cut off by her rambling.

"Because beneath every successful woman, there´s a man supporting her." she says this, pressing my head violently on the ground and catching me off-guard.

I hear Julia chuckle, before the sermon continues.
"And this is exactly the reason why-"

"I don´t want this. I won´t conform to your weird, culty expectations of how I should be anymore! And I certainly won´t let you shrink me to the size of a fucking mouse only to end up like dad!" I couldn´t believe I said it. That´s it. Pandora´s box is open.

I waited for her to drop the nuke on me, but there was nothing...silence. I looked up to see her cold grey eyes fixated on me, mustering me like a hawk would its prey before it nosedived down on it.

I don´t even remember how he looks. He was already shrunk when I was 4. But his crushed corpse when I discovered his bloody remains on my mothers foot, I will never forget.
She had made it very clear that we don´t talk about dad. This was the first time I said his name in her presence in 10 years.

The hand of my mother is coming towards me. Instinctively I cover my eyes until I feel her fingers gently scratching my head.

"I know you´re scared because a lot of things will change tomorrow, baby." she whispers.
"But I assure you, I will never harm my only son."
She squats down, meeting my eye level.
"And you can be sure that whatever mommy does, she does because she wants the best for you, okay?" she says, scruffing my hair and planting a kiss on my forehead.

I nod, a bit dumbfounded by the sudden softness.

She gets up, her short brown hair dangling above her shoulders, and turns her head towards my sister, who was texting on her phone the whole time, in a typical teenage-apathy.

"Julia, leave your brother to himself for the evening. He should have time to think about his future." she says, earning a "Kay" from the girl.

I get up, still unsure how I got away with this, and go upstairs to bed.

I think I did as good as I could´ve done by evading the foot massage, an albeit small but important victory, and softening the matriarch up.
Tomorrow, everything will change. I have to be careful and rational about this if I want to survive. Maybe I can make it through the year.