The second year of Dianne Trent’s presidency came and went by even faster and more chaotic than the first. With law after law being pushed through the political process with reckless abandon men were marginalized and ostracized at every turn. To call them a working class would’ve been incredibly generous. No, they were slaves in everything but name. Despite all her boisterous claims Dianne had treated the Constitution as little more than dirt in her journey to make America big again.

Foreign relations had all but died as every country washed its hands of Sexist America. Save for Russia oddly enough. Critics abroad criticized America for becoming the monster it claimed to fight against. Of course such critics were immediately labeled liars in Dianne’s women-centric media.

The death knell finally came at the two year mark with the 2018 Primaries. America’s last chance to put up a fighting force to slow down the phenomenon that was Dianne Trent. Futile as it might have been, there were those that hoped that perhaps this would be it. That the system would finally work as intended and the American people would vote for those who would do the right thing and undo all this damage at long last.

They did not.

The poll results were overwhelmingly in favor of Dianne supporters. That is to say, women. Any male politician, even those who had served several terms, lost their elections outright. Not surprising, given how most men were either too busy being locked in a cell or inside someone’s shoe to show up to the polls. So it was that the last dregs of the old guard went away at last and Dianne had all but total control. Whatever it was the rambling blonde wanted, the government would most assuredly back her on it.

Ironically, it wasn’t Dianne who proposed the law that would officially and permanently end any illusion of males being worth anything in this regime. Rather, it came from a middle-aged nobody known as Jane Swift.

Jane stood before Congress a few weeks after the Primaries had passed. Her reason? Today she had a proposal for the government, one that those within the room on the edges of their seats. If rumors were to be believed, this would be the biggest step towards progress since the Three Strikes Act.

“You may begin.” The Speaker gestured to Jane from her podium.

“Thank you.” The raven-haired woman lowered her head gratefully, her mature face smirking ever so faintly as she gazed down at the sheets of paper she’d prepared.

“Ladies, it is sad to see the country these days. I know you all adore the changes over the last few years that have changed our country so, but when I turn on the news I cannot help but be disappointed. Yes, this is a prosperous time for us. For women, but what of our male brethren?” Her fist slammed down into her podium, the sound echoing across the Congress room floor. “Imprisonment! Uselessness! I look at them and I see wasted potential and a waste of resources. Every time I turn on the news I see the same stories. Males imprisoned. Violation charges. Men begging for the jobs they stole from us for so very long!”

“I think all Parties can agree, that the state of all our smaller counterparts is not only deplorable, but a grievance against our illustrious President, and this magnificent nation of ours. For months I have heard discussion in this room, discussion of hour to make these men productive to society once again. It is not my intent to solve this problem only for the criminals in our society, but for all men. Of all ages, and all races.” Not that there was much of a difference anymore. “As for me, having given this important subject much thought and after hearing the opinions of many of my sisters, I’ve come to believe that the answer has been in front of us all along.”

“It is true that men are often times helpless to assist with a majority of tasks; and that their job won’t be done particularly well or earn much income. The benefit to my plan is that it will give men the perfect job in our beautiful nation. Another benefit, will be that it will end once and for all the unjustified murder and torment of those beneath us. For too long I’ve wept at the idea of citizens of this great nation dying underfoot, having contributed nothing to society.”

The room was completely enraptured in what the woman was saying. Despite her clear inexperience and reading directly from the page, Jane’s words were potent and had them all on the edge of their seats.

“There are currently 110 Million men in this country. Over 95% of which are imprisoned. Of that number, I will subtract 20 million due to size related accidents. Even with an annual percentage of five million born each year that leaves us with roughly 90 million men to figure out what to do with. There have been murmurs of trying to sell them, but my contacts within the business world have assured me that men are indeed not worth their weight.”

A few snickers broke through the silence of the room.

“I have, however, been assured by a expert in Europe however, that the common American male can serve as a delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food. Whether it be stewed, roasted, or baked, men can be prepared for a meal.”

Perhaps most shockingly in regards to Jane’s absurd statement, even in the slew of crazy statements to overwhelm the last few years, was how not a single woman in the room batted their eyes at the idea. After all, men had basically been worthless for the past year anyway. Any worth they once had perished with their size. Besides, Jane’s proposal was sounding more and more intriguing.

“I do therefore propose for public consideration, the Male Use Act.” She paused to take a deep breath. “Of the 110 million men currently living in this country, I propose 40 million of them for eating purposes. Another 20 million for the sake of breeding. And that the remaining 50 million be sold to those who can afford them.”

“Now, as you all know, the 13th Amendment bans the trading and sale of United States Citizens. Which is why I also propose that once a man reaches under a certain size his rights as a citizen be revoked. Look at me, I am a woman. Were I small enough to fit in your hand would you consider me a person worthy of respect? No, you wouldn’t. Nor should they.”

“By my estimation I believe a properly trained male in good physical condition could be retailed at approximately 40 dollars. Perhaps if they are a rare breed 100. Granted, the grace period for us to adapt to eating them and training them to obey those who purchase them will be harsh. I cannot deny that. There is also the idea of their bodies to consider. Some may want to purchase their male meals while they are still alive, but for others am told that their skin and bones can be removed and applied to create no shortage of goods and medicines for the benefit of all.”

“So long as we manage the stock of men carefully, and never cross that 5 million a year birthrate, we should never fear of running out.” A few faces nodded along with Jane as she spoke, nobody being appalled by any of this.

“I have also been advised by a dear friend of mine that in the industries that may be toxic to one’s health, such as miners or factory workers, males can make a worthwhile substitute in the most dangerous of tasks. Assuring that we keep our beloved people out of danger as much as possible.”

“Now, I understand this is a radical proposal, but, I would now like to explain my reasoning for why this is a good step for America. First, as I have stated, it will put to use the countless sloths that populate our prisons and eating away at our resources. Second, it will assure that even the lower working class will have something important to own and enjoy after a harsh day. Third, while caring for men eats away ten billion dollars each year, the sale and application of those very same men will bring in an estimated 50 billion a year. Fourth, the Breeders will assure that, despite our size differences, our nation will go on strong. Fifth, this will add a new meal and cultural cornerstone with which we can demonstrate our great nation’s proud beliefs to the world. Sixth, this will be a boon for marriages. As now instead of needing to hunt for a spouse, one need only purchase one. Or two. Or however many they so desire. And seventh, it will be the largest step towards undoing the damage that men have done over the past centuries.”

“I can think of, and hope there is no objection to my offer here tonight. Because of the Male Use Act population control will be a fear of the past. I beseech all of Congress to please consider the Male Use Act, and, to quote our beloved President, Make America Big Again.”

As she finished up the room stood and roared with applause. A standing ovation to the brave woman who’d spoken from deep within her heart.

Needless to say, the proposal passed with unanimous accord.