The Morning After, Cam Awakens

Rolling over on the uneven lumpy surface, Cam groaned loudly and cracked open his eyes, trying to focus his vision in the gloom as he pushed the scratchy woolen blanket off his aching body, an annoying high pitched hum ringing in his ears. Swinging his legs of a bed more that was more like a slab of sponge, he sat up, the texture of the floor under his feet slightly abrasive but at least it wasn’t cold.

Smacking his lips together, wherever here was wasn’t the dorm room he shared with Oliver which posed the question of where the hell was it?

Clearing his throat, “Hello?” he called out into the fairly dark featureless room.

Diffuse light came in from what looked like pot lights near the end of the room. Blinking, he scraped the sleep from the corners of his eyes, suddenly conscious of the fact he was completely naked. Glancing down, the front of his torso decorated with what appeared to be a huge Omega Pi symbol painted in bright borderline fluorescent pink from below his navel all the way to his collarbones. Reaching up, he touched the design on his chest, finding it thick and waxy, like a heavy greasepaint. He snickered, immediately thinking it reminded him of the texture of lipstick as he rubbed his thumb and fingers together. Chuckling softly, he looked up at the unfamiliar confines of the place he had awaken into.

The room around him was plain, essentially nothing more than a long and rectangular box, one end weakly lit, the other shrouded in shadow. There were no windows in the room. The walls were brownish in color, though it was hard to tell because of weak light creating casting a sepia like wash over the visible portions of the room. There was only the one sleeping platform he had awakened upon. Was this a room in the Omega Pi house? The basement maybe? Where was Oliver?

Yawning nosily, he closed his eyes and stretched his arms up over his head, trying to bring relief to his aching muscles and silence the war drum pounding in his head. He also need to take a leak.

He hoped to Christ he didn’t miss his chance to rail one of the girls by passing out, that would just piss him off. Allie, Kandi, or Brooklynn, hell they were all hot. What had happened? It was hazy. What could he remember? Drinking. The guy named Bear nodding out. Something else, some smell, like candle wax or paraffin. A flash of lying on the floor and looking up, surrounded by people whose faces he couldn’t see. What the hell?

Getting unsteadily to his feet, “Hello?” he called out again while reaching back to grab the scratchy blanket from the bed and drape it around his nakedness. There was no response. ”You got a can around here?” he asked, his voice sounded off in his ears. “Hello?”

Moving down toward the feeble illumination, “Strange,” he mumbled. Where the hell was this place? Drunk tank? “Oliver? Anybody? Hello-lo-lo,” he called making his own echo. He frowned, looking at the corner where there was what very much appeared to be two enormous looking novelty Oreo cookies, one leaning up against the wall, the other lying flat on the floor in front of it. Looking at them, he judged the diameter of the cookies were close to the same height as his chest, the width of the one on the floor almost to his knee. Moving toward the cookies, he was greeted by a sweet smell floating in the air, making his stomach rumble.  Standing next the cookie on the floor, he shook his head and laughed, the intricately patterned surfaced actually even said Oreo on it. Obviously someone had to tremendous effort to so closely duplicate the design at such a large scale.

Crouching down, he ran his fingers over the hard dark surface of the cookie. Reaching under the upper biscuit, he trailed his fingers over the white portion meant to be frosting, surprised when his fingers actually came away covered in icing. “What the deuce?” he murmured, bringing it close to his face and giving it a sniff. It smelled just like an Oreo cookie.

Standing up, he laughed, “Fuck off,” he said sticking out his tongue and tasting the substance on his fingers. Tasted like Oreo. “What is this, some kind of a dream? A pothead’s dream!” he chortled, sucking some more of the delicious mess off his fingers.

Fingers licked clean, he got low again and tried to nibble on the edge of the biscuit, successfully breaking off a small portion which he quickly devoured.

“Where in the world could you possibly even get cookies this big? Costco?” he said allowed, chortling and wiping his hands off on the blanket. Although his belly was now fully, urgency reminded him he still needed to pee.

This had to be the basement at Omega Pi, set up like one of those Shenanigan Nights type of mazes the university held annually. “Somebody is going to get her cute little bottom spanked when I find my way out of here,” he threatened playfully as he grinned into the darkness at the opposite end of the room.

Travelling slowly along the wall toward the dark end of the room as his eyes adjusted to the poor illumination, he made out a broad shape on the floor near the corner. Constructed out of hard plastic, it was a circular pool of water about waist high. A hot tub maybe? Very weird. Near it was a cylindrically shaped bucket covered by a piece of hard material with a circle cut out of the center of it. At the side were several pieces of coarse paper towel.

He laughed. “Are you for real? Like a one holer outhouse?” he asked out loud, shrugging off the blanket. “You asked for it,” he said, relieving himself in the pail.

Retrieving the blanket, he wrapped it over his shoulders again toga style and navigated along the opposite long wall, around the bed and back into the lit area of the room.

Standing there, he turned back to look into the room and frowned. There was no door.