I couldn’t remember a time that I ever felt any lower then I did at that time. It was as if everything was just sucked out of me and I had nothing left. Is this what gods master plan was for me? My entire life was a build up to being shrunk in my younger sister’s bedroom, forced to live amongst this junk as I scavenge for her crumbs just so that I can eek out a miserable life as some sort of parasite.

            “If this is what being a good person gets you I was screwed. What were all those hours in church spent for huh god? Were you even listening to my prayers? Or were you just laughing down on me. Oh that’s Jacen Preston, he’s this walking joke I have going on. He’s gonna end up a bug on his sister’s floor. Well thanks a lot. You can take your humanity and shove it up your ass god. Who needs you!”

            I fell to my knees in tears as I pounded the ground. I hadn’t ever felt so lost or alone in my life. No one can ever understand how I felt. You have no idea what it is like to see your family in pain over you, and your still around to witness it. It is almost as if I am dead, and I am but a ghost watching the pain that I inflicted upon the ones I loved most.

            I never thought that I could feel any lower. That I could feel more pain, more anxiety then I did at that moment. It was, however at that instant that I heard Al speak my name. I turned and looked up at her; I was shocked to see her staring at her Nintendo DS screen. The words she saw my message rang in my head like church bells as I screamed in elation over the realization that there was still hope.

            The floorboards trembled as Alyson leapt off her bed, calling my name as she scanned the floor. I felt a bit of that same fear I felt earlier as I stared up at her, watching her body rise taller and taller. As she stood to her full height, I felt as if I was looking up at something beyond me, beyond my own significance as a person and it scared me.

            I bolted up nearly falling off the pile of clothes that I had been sprawled out across. I waved my hands as I watched Al’s eyes scan the floor while she called my name.

            Every second that past, I could feel the anxiety inside me growing. Would she see me? Alternatively, would her eyes just pass me by? Each step she would take caused the pile of clothes I was on to shake and shimmy slightly as Al moved across her room. The decisive moment was nearly upon me. I could see her eyes looking right at me. I started jumping and yelling for all I was worth. I knew that this was my moment. My plight was about to climax, but then the unthinkable happened. She looked right past me. It was as if I was nothing. This was supposed to be my moment, but all I can do is look on vein.

            I watched her foot rise up as she pivoted to turn, my eyes lit up as I realized what was about to come but I had not time to react. I instinctively yelled out as her foot slammed into the pile clothes. I felt myself tumble down the mountainous pile of laundry and crash to the floor. I rolled to halt in time to see a multitude of colors spread out across the sky. It was as if it was the fourth of July and the sky was filled with a sea of colors. I wanted to get up, or to move but there was no time. The clothes pelted down on me.

            I tried to move but I was pinned down by the weight of my little sister’s clothing. I attempted to move my legs hoping to push myself up but I couldn’t budge them. I then tried to see if I could push up on the clothing enough so I could try to crawl out of here but I just wasn’t strong enough.  Thoughts of dying beneath a pile of laundry started to filter through my head.

            I heard Alyson starting to call for me again, I then felt the ground tremble like it had not ever before. She called my name again but this time it sounded closer to me then it ever had before. I called out again in vein. Knowing it was futile but it was still my only chance. Out of all the ways to die, I didn’t want to die via unwashed laundry.

            “Jacen?” I heard her call out, but this time it was almost as if it were a question. I yelled for my little sister again praying that my voice would somehow be carried to her ears when I heard her call out where are you?

            “I’m here, I’m right here.” I sobbed out; I slowly felt the clothing being lifted off me. Then I saw Al’s face closer then I ever imagined. It filled the sky, as she was down on all four looking straight down at me.

            It was then I realized exactly what I felt before. It just took this moment, these circumstances for it all to come out. It was absolute fear. I was afraid of my sister. I knew that in my head, it was crazy this is my sister.

            It wasn’t any one thing that I was afraid of, it was everything. It was as I lied there and looked from left to right her arms appeared to be thicker then I was long, her arms that I could remember as looking scrawny now were huge.  I could remember times when we played basketball, my arms were two to three times the size of hers, I easily bumped her around. Now as I look at these same arms, they looked huge, the muscle definition sent shivers down my spine.

            “Jacen, I, Jacen” my sister said as he looked down at me. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next though. It was so quick that I never saw it coming. Out of the corner of my eye, there was a blur then it was just firm pressure everywhere. Something firm was wrapped around my body tightly. It completely immobilized my body.

            Light started to filter in as I watched the pressure around my body release. I was literally in the palm of my sister’s hand. I looked around and clutched the floor of her hand.

            “I can’t believe this is you Jacen. Everyone is so worried about you. I am just gonna carry you over to my desk okay.” Alyson’s voice boomed around me. I couldn’t even make out much of what she was saying but before I could say anything we were on the move. I had no idea what was about to happen but I did know at least I was no longer alone.