“What do you mean this isn’t Jacen? I know it’s hard to take in Miranda but Jacen’s dead. Nothing is going to change that. You have to accept that he is gone. I realize you haven’t had as much time as I have with this and I am sorry for that. I should have told you sooner. I just didn’t know what to do.” Cried Jenni

“I know this isn’t my Jacen. Look at his eyes Jenni! Those aren’t Jacen’s eyes. How many times have you seen him without his contacts in? NEVER! Jacen’s contacts make his eyes look a deep brown color.” Miranda yelled as she watched Jenni back away from the body.

“Calm down Miranda. This is a difficult time for everyone. Why don’t we get some coffee.” Jenni calmly stated as she guided Miranda towards the door.

“Your right, I mean your parents identified him, the cops identified him.It’s probably just in my head you know, looking for some reason to prove that this isn’t Jacen.”

That night, I felt horrible. I couldn’t get the images of Jacen out of my head. I tried so hard to think about other things but my mind always went back to that body. It just didn’t seem like Jacen to me. What Jenni said is probably right but a part of me can’t help but think that she is wrong. It just doesn’t match up.

I finally couldn’t stand it any longer. I threw on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt and headed out towards my blue Honda accord. I pushed the key into the ignition and sat there staring at myself in the rearview mirror. I was a wreck. My black hair was all over the place, my eyes were red, I just looked horrible and for the first time I didn’t care. I hadn’t ever lost anyone before. I guess this is what it’s like.

***Alyson*** 

I slowly walked downstairs. I wasn’t looking forward to whatever mom was going to say. I was positive that it would only make me feel even more guilty then I already do. I don’t know if I will ever be able to look my mom square in the face again.

My dissention into the dark world begun a several hours before Jacen’s fateful accident, I had gotten up that morning as I did every morning, which was forcibly against my will. I trudged sleepily downstairs. I didn’t even bother to change out of my sleepwear that morning. It was just some blue old navy shorts and a white Kermit the frog t-shirt.

As I entered the Kitchen Jacen was already there at the bar eating some cereal.

“Hey Al, watch your step.” Jacen laughed as he stuck his leg out causing me to trip.

“Jerk! You are gonna get it one of these days Jace. You will be on the wrong end of a prank one of these days meanie.” I shouted as I stood back up walked over to the pantry to get my cereal.

As soon as I opened up the pantry I saw a big empty spot where my cereal should have been. I stomped my foot marched over to the table.

“You ate my Lucky Charms!”

“Correction, I’m eating your Lucky Charms. I didn’t realize you were almost out. Don’t worry, I saved you the toy.” Jacen laughed tossing a small action figure towards me.

“I stopped collecting those years ago! You don’t even like Lucky Charms.” I shouted as I made a grab for the bowl but he pulled it away at the last moment with one hand while pushing me away with the other.
“I’m just trying to get into the skin of my little sister to better understand how she can be such a monster.”

“I’m not a monster! You stupid Jock wannabe.”

I knew he was just trying to get under my skin but I couldn’t help arguing back. Jacen always gives me hard a time, and teases me, especially in front of my friends. I just wanted to get him back. Cut him down size.

I never planned for anything like this to actually happen. I was just talking to a couple of girls in my class about my stupid brother and they were saying how I needed to prank him back so that he would view me as an equal.

I really didn’t think it would work but I figured if nothing else it would give me a little vengeance for what happened this morning.

I asked around during lunch some good ways to prank my older brother but no one had anything good. No one accept the new girl. She told me how she got even with her brother. She put some of this stuff in his milk at the dinner table and it turned his skin a deep blue for about a day.

I laughed a bit at the thought of Jacen having to walk around all day with blue skin and everyone asking what happened to you and then he’d have to give me some respect.

So after school I went back to the new girls house and she gave me the stuff she used on her brother. As soon as I got it in my hands I felt giddy. I just wanted to rush home and put Jacen in his place for once.

So that night I put the stuff in Jacen’s glass. He was drinking soda that night but I really didn’t think it would matter. I stared at him during the whole dinner. Every time he took a drink I had to stifle a laugh.

After dinner I went up to my room and closed the door. I just sat in my bed listening to some music waiting for the action to start. I kept picturing Jacen running down the stairs screaming with his colored skin. For the first time I was going to have the last laugh.

I waited for what seemed like hours, and nothing happened. At the time I couldn’t figure out why it hadn’t worked. Then that morning I figured it must have worked and Jacen was to embarrassed to show off his pretty new skin.

I was wrong though. It never changed the color of his skin. It did something much worse. I couldn’t and still can’t believe what it did to him. I just don’t know what to do. I have cause so much trouble. My family thinks he is dead, and they are all sad. My brother is shrunk to the size of a small doll and I have royally screwed up his life.

I kept hoping that maybe if I just pretended it wasn’t him it would go away. But I just end up feeling more and more guilty. I guess its time I fess up