Light was one frustrated deity.

It wasn't that there was much to stress her out- no humans prayed to her anymore, and her considerable power meant that the majority of the members of the pantheon wouldn't dare cross her.

Note that word: majority.

Only one being had ever dared to tell Light no: her twin sister, Dark.

Light closed her golden eyes in frustration, and pinched her deeply-tanned nose- she had an ungodly headache. A Dark-sized headache. 

Dark was Light's inverse: Where Light was a dark-skinned blonde, Dark was waifishly pale with hair blacker than the void of space. Light's eyes were golden, Dark's were silver. Light constantly observed the day side of Earth, Dark was omniscient on the night side. Light was incredibly physically strong even without invoking her godly powers, Dark was famously frail. Light had to admit she was dumb as a post, Dark was a master manipulator. 

And one final thing: Light was incredibly sexually frustrated. As it turns out, sleeping with the girl who knows literally everything having to deal with sex will make everyone else pale by comparison. Light was no longer capable of getting off without her sister.

There was an issue with this: Dark was refusing to talk to her. Something had happened about four centuries ago that had set off an argument, and Dark was being too stubborn to apologize. Light was pretty sure she was in the right, and wasn't about to back down to her sister just because she was a little horny. Besides, if Light couldn't remember what they had been arguing about in the first place, it had obviously been something stupid, and Light had sworn to herself that she'd stop letting Dark's obsessive bitchiness run her life.

As Light lounged in her throne, one of the minor deities had mentioned something. Humans were apparently very good at solving problems. Light sat bolt upright. She could make Dark apologize by making her see that even mortals agreed with Light! Satisfied with herself, Light began summoning random humans into the Hall she shared with Dark.

------

Dark was pissed.

She had spent the past decade silently seducing Light, trying to get her to abandon the argument through her substantial sex appeal. She had even gone around clothed in nothing but a robe of shadows, which any sufficiently bright light (like the kind Light radiated constantly) could remove effortlessly. 

It wasn't that Dark particularly cared about this argument. Truth be told, she couldn't remember how it started. However, Light was already far stronger than she could ever hope to be. If Dark ever lost an argument, Light might just start bullying her as much as one of the minor deities, or even as much as a human. Dark trembled at the thought, as much from arousal as fear. Light was absolutely radiant, and could get absolutely anything she wanted through a show of force and skin- that was why Dark made up the difference by showing off all the best sexual maneuvers humanity had ever thought up.

Now, Light was pulling a Lysistrata Gambit on her, so Dark had taken to attending human orgies just to satisfy herself. Dark sadly had to admit that it wasn't working, and had taken to thinking that, no matter how skilled she was, she might just be incapable of satisfying her glowing sibling. Dark nearly gave in and groveled to Light, until she had a wonderful sort of idea- she could involve humans. Unenlightened as they may be, the mortal beings were surprisingly good at settling disagreements. 

Dark began locating random humans and summoning them into the Hall. If she played her cards right, Dark might be getting in her sister's pants tonight.

------

Abigail stirred. She had a pounding headache. Last she remembered, she was standing in her kitchen- so why was she in an absurdly large marble room? 

And, better question: who were all these other people, unconscious in a pile?

Lastly, as two women the size of skyscrapers walked into the room: Have I been saved or screwed?