I lie on my back, head propped up with a little doll’s pillow I found somewhere in my bedroom. Cameron’s next to me, his eyes glued to the screen. We’re watching my personal favourite: How I Met Your Mother on the flat screen mum bought on sale at some auction thing. My family’s pretty rich; well, at least rich enough to afford stuff like a Mercedes Spenz and a huge house with… my personal favourite, a staircase.

Now, most people probably think that I’m being really weird when I talk about a staircase of all things as being my sarcastic favourite thing in the house, but let’s not forget that I’m five inches tall and my life is hard times 1000. I should probably run through how the hell I actually got so small in the first place, and that’s all the result of a cancer treatment gone wrong.

See, when I was I don’t know, 5 years old, I was diagnosed with a type of rare cancer (lucky me) that turned my blood a dark black colour and contaminated my whole system. You could link it to Leukaemia, where you don’t get enough blood, but in reality, it’s nothing like that. My blood was literally black. The treatment was administered by this woman called Sally Ryan and involved me almost dying in the process (lucky me times 2).

But she saved my life. Although, she also shrunk me. Literally. The treatment she invented herself reacted badly with my blood type: AB Positive and resulted in my entire body compacting in on itself. I’ve been what any person would call ‘tiny’ for just over eight years now and I don’t go a day without thinking about everything I’m missing out on. Sports, proper friendships, even happiness. And I’m dragging Cameron with me, because mum said it’d be easier if we were both home schooled rather than just me. That’s all about to change tomorrow, though. We’re going to start a regular year of high school together with all the other grade eighters, even though we’re turning 14 and everyone else’ll be 13. Hopefully I won’t be judged *touch wood*. Yeah. Hopefully.

“It’s going to be Legend…. Wait for it….. dary!” Barney Stinson exclaims from the tv screen. I yawn, stretching out on my little seat atop the coffee table. Cam’s on the couch beside me, as I probably said before, eating corn ships and a bit of salsa. I’ve got a corn chip too, actually, which I’m nibbling now as we watch the show.

“You know, there’s this book on FanFiction that I found the other day about Barney Stinson getting shrunk and almost getting eaten by a cockroach.” I say, without looking up from the screen.

Cameron snorts and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, of course it’s you who knows about that.” He teases.

I frown. “I’m just saying, bro! It’s actually pretty good!”

“Sure.”

We’re silent for a good ten minutes as the program finishes. Cameron stands up, stretches and lets out a monster yawn that to my ears sounds like a freaking yeti. “When’re we getting take out?” I ask tiredly, not bothering to get up. Cameron checks his watch.

“I ordered pizza like, five minutes ago while the ad break was on. Should be here soon.” He says.

I nod, a smile creeping up on my lips. “You in the mood for scaring the delivery guy?” I ask my brother. Cameron’s face lights up and he grins evilly.

“I’m always in the mood, brother.” He smirks.

We wait in silence for a few minutes before the doorbell rings. Cameron’s grin widens and he scoops me up in the palm of his hand. I land on my butt as he stands up and grip his index finger for support. He smirks at me and I poke my tongue up at him in response. He half jogs to the front door, me looking like a ragdoll in his cupped hand.

 The moment he pulls the door open, the pizza guy at our doorstep smiles at him and mumbles a hello. It’s a classic Italian old dude with a pot belly. Perfect. I’m out of sight in Cameron’s hand behind his back as pizza guy hands him the meat lovers we ordered. The man fumbles for his glasses to scan the price so Cameron quickly tosses the pizza box to the nearby bench and readies me in his hand behind him for the ‘big moment’.

“That’ll be ten fifty, lad.” The man smiles, holding his hand out to accept the money.

“Sure.” Cameron grins back. His slender fingers come over my head so that the guy won’t realise I’m there until… I smile myself as I await the guy’s reaction. Slowly, my brother brings his hand with me hidden inside out from behind his back and drops me into the pizza guy’s waiting hand. In seconds, Cameron has replaced me with his IPhone and is waiting for the reaction. He’s not disappointed. As he videos the entire thing, I stand up and hold my hand out to the pizza guy in greeting.

“Sweet holy Jesus….!” He yelps as he adjusts his glasses to get a better look at me.

I give him a disapproving look. “Don’t use the lord’s name in vain.” I joke.

“It…. It talked!” The old man whimpers, eyes wide. Cameron stifles a laugh as something wet darkens the material around the pizza guy’s jeans. My mouth opens in the shape of an astonished ‘O’ and I howl with laughter. The guy screams and throws his hand (with me still on it) skyward. I’m still laughing my ass off as I tumble through the open air. The old man has hit the road before I’d even gotten to the funny part. What a woos.

Before I can fall to my death, Cameron’s hand is out to catch me. I wheeze out another round of laughter and he falls in tow. Soon, the two of us are rolling over on the concrete pathway in fits of giggles.

“That was priceless, bro!” Cameron is hysterical. He points wildly to the IPhone in his free hand. “I got the whole thing on video!”

As he gets up, me now perched on his shoulder, we see our mother smiling and shaking her head from the top of the stairs.

“You two are so mean!” She rolls her eyes. “You didn’t even pay for the pizza!” Cameron winks at her cheekily and grabs the pizza box.

“You should be happy, mum! Free pizza!” He laughs.

“Whatever, just don’t make pigs of yourselves.” Mum sighs. “And remember, your first day of school is tomorrow, so, yeah.”

I love our mum. She’s so cool about everything and acts like a real teenager. She’s so nice to us when we’re home schooled and we get soooo much candy for good work. Cameron grins at me as we sit down at the coffee table to watch the TV again. He drops me beside the grease covered pizza box and lifts the lid. The delicious scent of bacon pieces and cheese wafts instantly to my nostrils and I breathe it in. My brother quickly rips off part of the cheesy goodness for me before scooping wads of sticky, oily pizza into his mouth like he’s never eaten before.

“Don’t make pigs of yourself.” I mimic mum’s tone of voice with a smirk on my face.

“YOLO, brother.” Cameron winks playfully as he shovels his slice of pizza into his mouth. I face palm myself.

“Oh god…”

“Don’t use the lord’s name in vain!” He informs me.

I point my shaking hand up at his face and flash a shocked expression. “It talks!” I laugh.

Yep, welcome to my life.