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I am absolutely positively completely normal. I should probably go on the internet tonight and look up the definition to make that statement more believable. Actually, I’m standing in front of the computer now so I think I’ll look it up myself. Here we go:

 

Normal: Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

 

Yes, I’m pretty sure I meet the brief for that one. I inspect my hands. Perfect. Five fingers on each. How about my feet? Yes again, five toes on each, appropriate size to fit my body. How about my hair? Oh well, maybe a little on the long side but it can pass. It’s blonde by the way. Sandy blonde. Mum says it feels like silk. I say that it feels like hair. I love my logic. Well, my eyes are a little on the large side, out of proportion with my head. I don’t really care though. Maybe I eat too many carrots and my eyes are paying the price. Hmph. My eyes are fine, just like everything else that doesn’t matter. Oh yeah, you heard me right. Those things don’t matter. I’d chop off my right arm to have the privilege of experiencing the one thing that every other thirteen year old kid has but me. Heck, I’d chop off both my arms if I had to.

 

See, there’s one thing not so positively and completely normal about me, Marcus Andrews. I am……… allergic to peanuts. There. I said it.

 

I’m kidding, I swear. Ok, here goes: I am………. Your average real life midget. No joke this time. I am actually a midget. Now, you’re probably thinking ‘this kid’s a midget? Sure, there are kids starving in Africa and this kid’s complaining about being short?!? GET A LIFE’. Ok… maybe you’re not thinking something that deep. Just hear me out before you drop this journal on the floor and walk away.

 

When I say that I’m a real life midget, I am dead serious. Most people refer to a midget as being I don’t know, a head shorter than everyone else? I refer to a midget as being physically five inches or so tall. And that’s me: five inches tall. A literal midget.

 

There you go. And get this: tomorrow mum’s finally decided that it would be cool to send my twin brother Cameron and I to school after eight years of home schooling. Let's just say my response to that was both excited and traumatised... I mean, a kid the size of your average doll going to highschool... with so many, well, giants? I think that anyone in my position would freak out on the spot!

Ok, let me refresh your memories, my imaginary audience:

 

My name is Marcus Andrews. I have a twin brother called Cameron, and we'd be best friends given that we weren't related. Both of us have been homeschooled all our lives and really don't know any different. I'm also five inches tall, give or take. Did I miss that part? Yeah, I think I might've.

 

Well, that's all you need to know about me. And this is my story

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