When I woke up again the room was dark, pitch black. Stumbling to my feet I tried to feel for the wall or door, but they didn’t seem to be where they should be. There was a thick fog, I couldn’t see it but I could feel it everywhere, coating me and seeping into my lungs with each breath. It made it difficult to walk through the darkness, like the air was heavier and just displacing it was a great effort.
After walking for a while I could finally barely make out something else. It was a person far in the distance, I don’t know how they were so visible when nothing else was, but I didn’t care. I yelled out something and they walked towards me, but didn’t say anything back. As they got closer I could make out it was a woman. They must have been incredibly far away because it seemed to be taking longer than it should with both of us walking towards each other. I began to feel a steady but small vibration on the ground. It increased in intensity until I started to lose balance and decided it was best to stay still. The figure in the distance was still approaching, steadily, but seemed different. They were bigger, much bigger. I tried again to shout at them but the tremors tossed me around while the omnipresent fog sapped the force from my throat. I felt completely powerless as the figure now loomed ever closer, rising hundreds of feet into the air yet still seeming so far away. Each footfall shook this strange world and passed through my entire body.
The earthquake stopped momentarily and I took the opportunity to partially uncurl from my pathetic position on the floor to look up. Above me was nothing but a vast plane of flesh, so massive I had to strain my neck to confirm what I somehow already knew, that it was a human foot, long and feminine yet so terrifyingly massive. The foot continued to fall. I resigned to my fate.
COUGH COUGH, ughhh….
A toe poked at my forehead. “Joe, Joe, are you alright? Oh hey, finally….”, Alex said, capped off with a relieved sigh. From my position on the floor I could only see her withdraw her foot and place it back into a green flip-flop. The hardened calves of her long legs then tightened as she squatted down to look at me closer.
“Oh uh, really now are you alright? I mean I don’t have to call an ambulance or something right?”
“N-no….I’m fine, I passed out for some reason but I’m ok.” I strained to sit up but was beginning to feel more alert. “Wait, what are you doing here?”, I asked, Alex has never been back to the apartment before evening and I couldn’t have possibly been out that long.
“Hm, maybe I should be asking what you’re doing, since you seemed to be taking a nap nuzzled up against my underwear!” said Alex in mock-rage, quickly turning into a huge smile and giggle she couldn’t hold in. I was still thoroughly embarrassed and look down trying to hide it. “I’m just kidding! It’s ok! Let’s get you back upstairs.” She extended a hand to help me up and I thanked her.
“Um, I guess you noticed but I was doing laundry. Let me just put it in real quick before we-“
Alex cut me off, “Come on, come on, you’re not feeling good, we’ll do it later! No need to exert yourself!” She then quickly tossed all the dirty clothes back into the bin, propped it up onto one shoulder with ease, and pushed me playfully toward the stairs.
Completely defeated in trying to teach my roommate anything, and now probably unable to look her in the eye for the rest of our lives, I silently followed her back up to the room. Curious about Alex’s mood, I glanced over, but of course my eyes were only level with her breasts. Not wanting to risk awkward eye contact I-, wait, her breasts? Was I always that short compared to her? I could have sworn I was a little higher up? But that doesn’t make sense. I must still be groggy and not thinking straight.
We entered the apartment and Alex shooed me onto the couch and stepped into the kitchen. “Isn’t there any soup in here?” she asked while rummaging through the cupboards. Well, not like you would know, since I don’t think you’ve brought any food into here, though you’ve certainly consumed some.
“Alex, it’s not a cold, but thank you. Really though, I’m fine.” I assured her, trying to minimize the damage she would do to the kitchen’s organization as fast as possible. At this, I started to get up and move toward my bedroom to get some sleep.
“Wait, Joe! I totally forgot why I came here early! Cuz you were all bonked out and stuff. Uh well, oh yeah, my team is playing a game tonight and I wanted to invite you to come see! As long as you’re not busy or anything, and it’s free of course….”
I sighed deeply in my mind. I’d had quite enough excitement for today, but I didn’t want to reject her. She did help me, I guess, in her own sort of way you could consider it help at least, helpfully intentioned if not truly helpful. “Yeah, of course. Sounds like fun.”
“Yay! OK well I have to change and then bike over there right now! But I’ll expect to see you there sharp at 6!”
“Er, right. You bet.” I said trying to imitate enthusiasm, I’m not really a sports type of guy, but I guess it could be fun. A flash of green whizzed by the side of my head and smacked the wall.
“Heh, sorry!” Alex had carelessly flung her flip –flops off her feet with a kick before running into her room to complete her changing.
I looked down at the flip-flop and instinctually put my own shoe next to it. I look like a little kid standing next to daddy…if daddy wore neon green flip-flops. I hadn’t seen her wear these much before but there were still very noticeable toe imprints and some dirtying. Weirdly I noticed that my own shoe seemed a little loose, like I could slip it off without untying the laces. Damn things must be getting worn out already.