Chapter 1: My Life
"Whatever Mom." I dejectedly slump my shoulders. "You just don't--"
"What! What don't I understand! Explain it to me. Now." She crosses her arms and waits.
Maybe I should move a bit back in the story. This is myself arguing with my mom but there is more to it than is obvious. My name is Matt. I am 20 years old and still living with my parents. I know, it's pathetic, you don't have to tell me. I've certainly heard it enough from my mother in recent months. What my parents really want is for me to man up, get a job, and start making my own way. They want their basement back.
The only thing is I have a serious issue that prevents me from doing that. I feel inferior to other people all the time, especially women. I see what others have accomplished around me and it only gets worse. My mother degrading me everyday, it's her way of trying to put some fight into me and challenge me to get out of my situation. It really is the wrong way to go considering my problems but I definitely can't own up to it: I have way too many self esteem issues already.
"So?" She's getting impatient.
"So?" I question back.
"Answer me." She says.
I'm torn. Do I finally explain my problems? How can I possibly explain so she'll understand. She's obviously never been through these self esteem issues herself. She commands every conversation she's in.
"Well I guess I...umm..." I start
"What?" She's just stares at me. Agh! I hate that! She just steamrolls over everything I say. Let me finish speaking if you actually want to hear my explanation!
"You see..." I keep stalling. I barely understand my inferiority complex myself, how the hell am I supposed to explain it on demand!
"I give up." She says. "I'm going to the parlor with your Aunt. You better show me those completed job applications when I get back."
"Fine." I say quickly. I just want to end this awkward conversation. I'm not sure if I'll actually do them or not.
What incited my mother to go at me today was the fact that I spent four hours watching TV. Way too long for someone without a job. What can I say? I'm practically agoraphobic. Normally she would pay less attention than that but my father and two sisters are out of town.
My older sister came in for a visit. She, of course, has a job as executive vice president of a mid size software development firm. I'm happy for her but it also serves to contrast exactly how little I've accomplished. She's only two years older than me and much further down the path of success than I am. She took my younger sister and my dad to New Mexico for a small weekend getaway. She offered to take me as well but my mother said I'm busy. So I'm stuck with all of my mom's focus for the next two days or so. Great.
After she leaves for the parlor I go outside to grab the mail. I barely lookup from the ground as I walk because I think I see my neighbor across the street staring at me. I wanted to see what came though. Reading my magazines is one of the few excitements of my life and I intend to capitalize on it soon.
As I'm walking over the transition from driveway to sidewalk, I walk right into someone I really didn't want to see. Judith, our next door neighbor. It really was a small bump but it sends some purple liquid splashing out of her cup all over me.
"Watch where you're walking you complete loser!" She snarls and catches her balance.
By my standards, Judith is really evil. She treats my stuttering wit with disdain and talks down to me because of it. No attempts at empathy. In fact, I'm pretty sure she enjoys it.
"Sorry, I'm just grabbing the mail." I say. "I think I--"
"What makes you think I care." She just stares at me. "I think I'm going to enjoy stopping over later." A new smile creeps onto her face.
"What?" I'm totally flummoxed by her sudden mood change.
"Nothing. Goodbye Matt."
I go back inside my house and grab a towel to dry myself off but the purple substance is gone.
"The hell?..." I mutter.
I put the towel back and have no idea what just happened to me.