“Ahhhh!!” Joseph screamed uncontrollably for a moment.

Breathing heavy, he put his hands across his chest, as if to prevent his heart from leaping out at any moment.

From his vantage point, Joseph couldn‘t make out much of the girl‘s face. He thought he recognized the hair color and length. It was probably Rachel. Rachel was a junior at FU, Funk’n University. She’d been apart of the sorority, Kappa Cap a Bitch, since her freshman year. Joseph and Rachel had known each other for almost three years now.

“Hey!”, he screamed again, “Wake up! Wake up! Help me!” Joseph screamed in desperation. It was all for nothing, however. Rachel was either in a deep sleep or simply could not hear him.

Joseph got his first taste of his limitations as a tiny bug. His lungs simply could not produce enough air to create a sound that an unsuspecting person could feasibly hear.

Sorely disappointed, Joseph suddenly heard footsteps. Scurrying over to the edge of the coffee table, Joseph peaked around the corner. Across the room was a TV entertainment system, complete with up to date game consoles and a DVD player. To the left of that was a coat closet, and immediately perpendicular to that on the adjoining wall was the front door. To the right of the TV were a set of stairs leading upwards to the second level.

Someone was coming down the stairs. Joseph leapt with anticipation. He desperately wanted to get someone’s attention. He ran as fast as he could to the middle of the living room floor, clammering over the field of carpet as he did.

From the second floor came Lisa. Her long blonde hair was pulled back in a messy bun, tendrils of it draping down her back. She wore loose fitting, checker patterned pajama pants and a pink bra with a white spaghetti strap top over it. Joseph immediately recognized her.

Lisa was still half asleep as she came thundering down the stairs. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head, letting out a deep sigh. When she reached the bottom step, Joseph realized he was in trouble.

His world shook around him, and the carpet fibers made for a difficult escape. Joseph stood directly in the way of Lisa’s path to the kitchen. He tried to get her attention, waving his arms and screaming at the top of his lungs. But she groggily wiped at her eyes and never looked down. Joseph took a terrified look at her bare feet.

“Oh, shit. She doesn't see me.” The realization dawned on him.

It was too late for him to run, she was bearing down on him fast. Joseph watched her gigantic strides cover vast distances in mere seconds. In one fearful moment, Lisa’s left foot came within yards of crushing Joseph to a paste. She was so close he could see the paint peeling off her toenails. Then, he watched in awe as her right foot rose high above him. He could see, in detail, the red coloration where her foot made contact with the ground and the swirling patterns of her skin. There was a small amount of dirt clinging to her soles.

As quickly as it passed above him, her foot came crashing back down to earth, a few yards in front of him.

It was over in the blink of an eye. She was in the kitchen making breakfast well before Joseph recovered from the shock. He had gotten the most terrifying and magnificent view of Lisa. She had towered what seemed like miles above him. So high, he couldn’t make out her face from his vantage point. He did get quite the view of her butt, as it clung more tightly to her pajamas than any other part of her legs.

Joseph was dumbfounded. Shaking his head, he spoke out loud, “I need to be more careful!”

Looking around frantically, he realized that soon the house would be abuzz with activity. The high-traffic floor was a dangerous place for a little bug to be. Girls stomping around, getting ready for the day. None too concerned with what lay at their feet.

Joseph decided to take refuge under the coffee table. Scurrying across the carpet and into the shadows of the table, Joseph was met with a flurry of dust bunnies. The clustered, fibrous bunches of urban sediment presented a bit of a problem for him. Unable to fight his way deep under the table, Joseph merely stood at the edge of the table as to the mouth of a cave.

Sitting down indignantly, Joseph looked at his watch for the first time, 7:45.

“Wait a minute…” Joseph stuttered, “My… my clothes!”

He looked down at himself. Sure enough, he was dressed in the same clothes he was wearing last night. Long blue jeans, a cotton tee-shirt, and a pair of snazzy, black sneakers.

How could this be? Not only did being the size of Rachel’s fingernails not make any sense, his clothes had shrunk with him. Joseph scratched his head in frustration. His head was really starting to pound. He was dehydrated and beginning to feel a wave of nausea set in.

Rummaging through his pockets, he pulled out his wallet, 57 cents, a bottle of chap stick and his cell phone.

“My phone!” He screamed delightedly.

“This is it! I’ll just call someone and tell them where to look for me.” Joseph thought to himself.

Turning it off of “sleep mode”, he immediately noticed the battery light was blinking. Joseph frowned. He had a habit of constantly taking pictures and videos when he was drunk. This drained the battery life of his phone considerably fast.

Praying he had enough battery power left to call at least one person, Joseph made the decision to call Lisa. She was still in the kitchen, sitting at the dining table. He couldn’t tell from here, but he presumed she was eating breakfast.

He selected her number from his list of contacts and pressed “send”. There was a tone, then silence, and then it began to ring.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!”, Joseph said out loud.

A couple seconds went by and Joseph could not hear Lisa’s phone ringing. Maybe it wasn’t going to work? Maybe his phone was too small?

He muttered in frustration, “It says I have service!”

Suddenly, someone picked up at the other end, “Joseph? Why are you calling Lisa’s phone?”

Joseph knew the voice, it was Sarah. Immediately, a new sensation settled in. He felt nervous and light headed upon hearing her voice.

“H-Hey! Sarah, it’s me, Jo!”

“Yeah, I know, your name came up on Lisa’s phone. I don’t know where she is.”

“Y-yeah, it’s fine. Listen! You have to come downstairs! I’m under the coffee table!”

“What?” Sarah’s voice rose sharply.

“Look, this sounds crazy, but something terrible has happened to me! Be careful when you come downstairs!”

“What d.. ..u mean? …’s wrong?” Sarah’s voice was beginning to fade in and out.

“My body! It’s been shrunk! I’m the size of an ant! Help me!” He screamed into the phone.

“He…? Yo… …ing up. I can’t …erst.. you… I’ll just c… .ou from-…”

The signal died. Joseph looked at his phone in time to watch it power down. Unable to tell if anything he said got through to her, Joseph sat down, putting his head between his legs. Even if she did hear what he said, Joseph had no way of knowing if she’d take him seriously.

Feeling depressed and exhausted, Joseph laid down and curled into a ball. His head was throbbing and he found it hard to keep his eyes open. He suddenly became very tired.

“I’m seriously boned.” He mumbled to himself as he fell into a deep sleep.