A blaring ambulance swerved back and forth through traffic and pedestrians in Midtown Manhattan, rushing urgently through the streets. Rapidly, it passed block after block, racing towards its destination on the other side of town and carefully yet narrowly avoiding the nearby cars that did their best to make way on the congested roads. According to the dispatch report, an old lady had gone into cardiac arrest in a local restaurant, and there were only minutes left to resuscitate her before irreparable brain damage took place. In record time, the ambulance arrived at the scene, braking outside the restaurant to a harsh halt. Immediately, EMTs rushed onto the scene past concerned and confused bystanders and took over CPR from the woman’s panic-stricken grandson. One EMT pounded against the old lady’s chest at a brisk rhythm while another administered mouth-to-mouth at intervals. Despite their efforts, the situation was looking grim. The woman’s grandson’s face was pale with despair.
However, not all hope was lost. A third EMT returned from the ambulance with a defibrillator. Swiftly, she made her way over to the collapsed lady and adeptly placed the defibrillator’s adhesive pads to the woman’s chest. A small crowd had formed around the old lady and the EMT’s. Each spectator waited with bated breath, hoping for a miracle. The EMT gently pressed down on the defibrillator’s shock button. A jolt was sent through the old woman and her body convulsed suddenly. A long silence passed. The grandson felt a frigid wave of dread wash over him. The defibrillator administered another shock. Again, there was no response. The EMT shifted nervously, and locked eyes with the grandson. She could read a desperate plea in his eyes. With shaky fingers, she pressed the button again. A long moment of silence. The grandson bowed his head in defeat, and the EMT looked away in guilt. Then, with a loud gasp, the old woman opened her eyes and began breathing again.
“She’s alive!” cried the teary-eyed grandson, and the crowd erupted in a united cheer before being crushed beneath a colossal pink flip-flop.
Seven miles above the scene, an immense young woman towered over Manhattan. People from every part of the city and beyond gazed incredulously up at her imposing form. From the perspective of neighboring cities, her figure dominated the NYC skyline, silhouetted against the horizon by the setting sun. The skyscrapers at her feet looked like mere blades of grass compared to her. In fact, the Empire State building did not even reach her ankle.
Airplanes passing overhead had the best view of the Big Apple’s biggest tourist. Flying not too far above her, passengers could see the girl’s flawless face. Like the rest of her body, it had unblemished, golden-tanned skin. Her two monstrous lips were plump, coated in an obnoxious pink lipstick, and frowning, big enough to engulf multiple city blocks if she had the inclination to kiss them. She was chewing loudly on an enormous wad of bubblegum, Her thick eyebrows were neatly trimmed and furrowed, conveying her mild annoyance, and her eyes were hidden behind her big, black sunglasses. Noticing one of the planes flying past her face, she scoffed in disgust and swatted at the air casually, obliterating the aircraft and all of its passengers in an instant.
As for the rest of her body, she had long, straight blonde hair that stretched for miles down her bare back. She wore nothing but a skimpy golden bikini and the aforementioned pink flip-flops. Her breasts were big even in comparison to her own body, and at her height casted two protuberant, round shadows on the city immediately below. At the ends of her lengthy fingers, she wore glittering hot pink acrylics that matched her lipstick and her toenails as well.
The simple footstep that annihilated the scene of the old lady’s cardiac arrest engulfed and obliterated several of the surrounding blocks as well. Those who stood just shy of the devastation, like traffic-buried commuters, were face-to-face with the enormous sole of the girl’s flip-flop. At a more reasonable size, the sole would have been a flimsy, flexible thing, but as it stood before them, it was an impenetrable, impassable wall of lurid pink foam, a surreal, garish contrast to the insipid grays polluting much of New York’s infrastructure. Bafflingly, the sole itself was as thick as most surrounding buildings were high. Craning their necks, the commuters’ gaze traveled up the massive flip-flop to find the girl’s foot, then her soaring legs. Suddenly, they were cast in shadow as the titaness’s head moved to look down at them. She took off her sunglasses and squinted down at them. They froze, paralyzed in fear, and a wave of silence passed over the city as they found themselves caught in the all-seeing eye of a goddess.
“Oh. My God,” she blurted out, her obnoxious voice booming across the city. Onlookers covered their ears, doubling over in pain from the sheer volume of her words. Even so, the vibration of her voice penetrated their entire bodies so that they could feel every syllable.
“What have you done to my sandals?!” she accused, bending down to get a better look. With such a simple movement, her foot shifted a little, and citizens and buildings alike were crushed beneath and against her flip-flops. “These are ex-pen-siv-uh! Now they’re all covered in shit!”
Her massive, tan digits soared down and wiped against the edge of her flip-flop. She then brought her finger in front of her face and inspected it carefully. Upon her fingertip was a fine, gray dust, with bits of rubble strewn across and speckled with mangled corpses.
“Ew ew ew, that’s so fucking gross!” she whined, wiping the grime off her finger against her bulbous, plush ass. “You fucking bugs and your little fucking cities! Can’t you build this shit somewhere else? I’m trying to walk here!”
The titaness slid her monstrous feet from her flip-flops, then picked them up, holding one in each hand like a beachgoer. Thousands were eradicated beneath the vast masses of flesh that were her feet as they touched down on the cityscape. She wiggled her gargantuan toes, crushing up rubble between them as if it was sand.
“Mm, that’s better,” she mused. “But you specks aren’t off the hook! You’re gonna pay for pissing me off!” The titaness scanned the cityscape below her, looking for a potential target. Finally, her eyes fell upon the green patch of Central Park.
“What’s this?” she said to herself, striding over to it. Her toes fell just short of the park’s edge. The branches of the closest trees were bent backwards by her big toe, the foliage tickling the bottom of it. The inhabitants of the park stared up in horror as the titaness grinned down at them.
“Aw, this part is like, almost kind of cute!” She lifted her foot slightly, poking and prodding the nearby trees with her toe, uprooting them and snapping their trunks in half like twigs. “If only it wasn’t so PATHETIC!” She stomped her foot, sending a shockwave rippling through the earth. Skyscrapers toppled like dominos, cars and people were thrown in the air and blown away, and wide, deep cracks forked across the ground like lightning, cutting the streets into uneven, slanted wedges of terrain.
The titaness giggled. “Like I said: PA-THE-TIC-UH!” She spit her gum out on the park and it crashed down into the reservoir, splashing gallons of water in every direction that rained down on the people. The water of the reservoir rose several feet, displaced by the gigantic wad of gum that filled most of its expanse and loomed over the trees, like a gooey, wrinkly island. Rivers of saliva streamed off the sides of the wad, contaminating the reservoir with the titaness’s spit.
The titaness held her hand against her mouth, stifling a laugh. “Oh. My. God. That is, like, hilarious! All of you are just so teeny! I love it! Okay, but seriously, I’m done playing around.” The city took a collective sigh of relief, hopeful that her rampage would soon be over. “I’m bored now. Time to go!”
The earth quaked as she lifted her leg high, her bare foot looming precariously over the park, replacing the blue sky with a fleshy, wrinkly tan. Bits of rubble and drops of sweat fell from the bottom of her foot, crashing into the ground like meteorites. Imminent victims could see the trees she had stomped on earlier flattened against the ball of her foot, reduced to just another grain of filth dirtying her divine sole. The brief calm that had filled the city shattered into a frenzied panic as crowds pushed and shoved against each other, rushing to escape from the titaness’s path.
“What’s wrong? You thought it was over?” she teased. “This is what you get for getting my flip-flops dirty! As her foot lowered closer and closer, the park grew ever darker. The overwhelming smell of her feet invaded every inch of the tiny park, and the air grew hot and humid just from her warm, damp skin. “Seeya!~” she exclaimed. With that, her entire foot crashed into the park, engulfing it entirely. The cacophony of screams was drowned out by a thunderous boom, then an uneasy silence as clouds of dust dispersed from around her foot.
With a deep, content sigh, the titaness continued, her next stride sweeping over the rest of the city and into the Atlantic Ocean. She hummed contently to herself as she went. The surviving city watched in quiet shock as she strolled away, her vast hips swinging to and fro lazily as she departed into the night.