Hey there, I just got back from a volleyball game with my family, it was super fun! The car ride there was exhausting though, my sister kept asking my mom to put a city on the sand to act as a mat while we played, and I had to keep trying to convince my mom to not do that. Of course, my sister couldn’t handle someone stopping her from crushing millions of people, so she resorted to shoving me. I had to defend myself so I started shoving her back, but then my mom told us both to knock it off even though my sister was the one who clearly started it!
That’s so unfair, right? Thankfully, my mom decided to take my side on the argument and not kill millions for no reason, and from then on my sister dropped the subject (well, not until Mom threatened to put her in the city she uses as an insole if she didn’t drop it) and we just had some fun as a family.
What did really leave a sour taste in my mouth though was seeing my mom shrink down three cities for her and my aunts to wipe the sand off their feet with, laughing while hundreds of thousands of people suffer a painful fate being scraped off the face of the Earth by my mom and aunts’ sweaty, mature soles… ugh, I try not to think about the fate of the people in the cities my family use, nothing good can come from constantly worrying about that when there’s not much I can do about it.
Anyways, since I’ve mentioned my aunts, I feel obligated to talk about the media darling that is my cousin Tiffany. I’ll start with the most terrifying experience of my life:
This was two years ago, I was 14 at the time and Tiffany was 16. I really liked hanging out with her, it helped me immensely to have someone who’s going through basically the same thing as I was, my mom made her sisters goddesses a few days after ascension so she knew how it was like dealing with a goddess for a mother. Of course I guess you could say my sister also fit this, but Tiffany was way more reasonable, sweet, and kind than that little freak!
To start off, I need you to know that I’ve always been a person who followed the rules. I was never loud in class, always followed whatever my teacher or mom said, rebelling just wasn’t – and still isn’t, really – in my nature. Tiffany on the other hand, was the complete opposite. From a young age she always had a fascination with what she wasn’t allowed to have – the amount of times she had almost burned her hand touching the stove or the iron was immense –, and this certainly didn’t change as she got older, despite what her beautiful and delicate appearance may suggest, almost every day she was exploring some abandoned area of the city, trying to sneak into reserved areas, every time she saw a ‘no entry’ sign she took it as a challenge rather than a command.
So, when one day we were at her mom’s house, and both my mother and hers went out, telling us we couldn’t go to the nearby city… I think you can guess what Tiffany roped me into doing. I was against it, of course, but I didn’t want to seem like a coward in front of my cool older cousin, plus she just had this aura that made you feel invincible by being near her. Within a few minutes of them leaving we’d already gotten out of the house and started riding our bikes towards the city. It was a short route down a hill, and soon enough we were in the city center, trying out some expensive sweets we’d never seen anywhere else, and admiring the nice architecture, meeting some friendly people our age in the process.
The sun was setting when we decided to call it a day and head back home, until the setting orange sun was replaced by the silhouette of two gargantuan figures. I’d seen enough of those harrowing videos online – and been in this exact situation but from the vantage point of mom’s shoulder – that I knew exactly what was going on. My mom and aunt were going on a rampage, and this city was apparently on their route. Akin to tectonic plates shifting to create a mountain, the ground beneath us began to shake violently as a foot came up from the ground and quickly towered over us. I could tell it was my aunt’s foot, since the toenails were painted pink, which my mom never does.
I’ve seen a few videos online of a ground perspective of a rampage, but nothing could possibly compare to being down there myself. All order turned to chaos as people began fighting in the streets for no real reason, their minds failing to comprehend how insignificant they were and desperately trying to fix it through the oldest human action, violence. Those of a higher mental fortitude knew that there was no shot of escaping her step, instead curling up into the fetal position on the ground and hoping for it to all be over soon.
In hindsight, I’d love to position myself as a paragon of rationality in times of anarchy, but the truth is that I spent most of that time shaking my cousin’s shoulders, ranting incoherently about how this was all her fault, that we were seriously going to die now and worst of all that I would die a virgin! She mostly echoed my sentiment, sobbing madly and pleading to any higher power who would listen that she would never disobey her mother ever again if she could just make it out of this alive.
It was almost simultaneously that we both stopped our mad ramblings and came to the realisation that the gargantuan women causing the earthquakes all around us were our mothers, that we could just… call them, like we regularly do. I know, I know, how obvious, right? Trust me though, when you’re in a situation like that with death just a few minutes away, it’s like your brain just completely shuts down all rational thought, because how could you possibly explain rationally that a woman the size of Everest is about to crush you underfoot? It defies all rationality, and as such the brain responds by reverting to a primitive state that doesn’t have the capacity to understand concepts like ‘rationality’ in the first place, or at least that’s how I think it works. I’m not a biologist, anyways.
As soon as we made that realisation, we both scrambled for our pockets to call our moms and tell them that we’re down here. It took a while, our first ‘sentences’, if you could call them that, were incoherent ramblings about how we’re saved but also pleading for them to look down, but after a few minutes they finally got the general idea, and soon enough some bubbles were created around us, that floated us back to my aunt’s house.
We got fifteen minutes to calm down, breathe, and recover from the near-death experience we just had before our mothers came home, finished with their rampage. Thus followed the biggest chewing out that we – no, that anyone ever – have gotten. If you think your parents chewed you out worse, no they didn’t. Call me once they kill millions of people in front of you just to make a point about how fragile people are, then you might have a case. Their yelling was the second most terrifying thing I’d ever experienced after almost getting crushed, and both happened on the same day. By the end of the hour-long session, all of us were tired beyond belief, and Tiffany and I both just collapsed asleep on the couch where we were, to bring about a day less awful than this one.
That was about it for the most terrifying experience of my life. I know all of you probably think my life as the daughter of a goddess is just 24/7 pampering or whatever, but hopefully now you know that we go through hardships just like everyone else, okay?
Tiffany and I remained close after this as well, if anything this had actually driven us closer, but as it turned out the week before her 18th birthday she was very preoccupied with her friends, and we didn’t speak at all for the whole of it. Trust me when I say that I was massively shocked to turn on the news that day and see her rampaging with her friends across Asia, city after city getting turned to dust beneath her pink flip-flops while her and her friends just gossipped and laughed about how pathetic the rest of the world was.
I just… can’t comprehend how she could do something like that after having been on the receiving end of a rampage herself! She saw how horrifying it is being down there, and how the victims are so often innocent, nice people, and yet while giggling and having fun she killed 55 million people! I’ve tried talking to her about it, but despite being so open to me about everything else, she always seems to avoid the topic. Maybe she doesn’t want to come to terms with what she did? I really don’t know, maybe I’ll understand once I’m a goddess myself?
Speaking of that… you might have noticed that 55 million people is way too high for a regular rampage, after all my family does limit themselves in that regard to ensure humanity doesn’t get fully wiped out, but it’s a rule in the family that someone’s first rampage can be far more destructive and deadly than a normal one, since they want our first rampages to be as enjoyable as possible to get us into the lifestyle. I know I’ve still got two years, but I’m already super nervous, are they going to expect me to commit an atrocity on that scale? I really don’t think I could do it, especially after having just written down what I went through on that day two years ago… I’m tired, I think I might talk about this later.
As always, any feedback would be appreciated, and please let me know what you think of this, and the position I’m stuck in here, xoxo.