Dave had a date with a Witch. The idea would have been absurd even a few months ago. The magical community, as they called themselves, had been forced out of hiding when their illusion charms had all simultaneously failed. There were theories as to why, ranging from a rogue wizard gone mad to a government plot using a particle accelerator to disrupt reality, but the important thing is that one day every magical being and place was suddenly visible.

There was panic on the first day but… it had all gone well, shockingly well. Joint statements from human and magical leaders had been quickly issued, and defying all odds both worlds simply looked at one another and decided to continue their peaceful coexistence. Peace treaties were signed, and channels of communications opened up. A few humans and magical beings had decided to begin exploring the other’s worlds.

That was how he’d met Darcy. He’d been standing in line at his favorite coffee place when he heard a strange sound, like the wind had hit the building at an odd angle. His hair flew as the sliding glass doors of the shop were forced apart by some unseen force. In walked a woman with jet black hair and blue eyes, she wore a wide brimmed hat and a flowing black robe, looking for all the world like she’d just stepped out of Spirit Halloween. In one hand she carried a broom, and in the other a very normal looking purse with the price tag still on it.

“You don’t need to do that thing where you blow the door open,” the clerk called, “It’s electronic it opens when you step in front of it.”

The woman gave a confused look back at the door and stepped towards it, jumping back in shock as the electronic door slid apart. She grinned suddenly and stepped back, allowing them to close again before stepping in front of the censor, giggling as they slid open once more.

“Astounding!” she said, “and there’s no magic at all?” She looked around the side, “There’s not a demon or a servitor doing it?”

“Ah no,” The clerk said uncomfortably, “We don’t got one of those.”

The witch nodded and stepped into line behind Dave. It was going slowly, the clerk was a bit overworked and there were a good six people in front of them.

“It’s my first time!” the witch said to him grinning, “Trying coffee I mean. My first time being in a human city at all actually!”

He looked back at her, not sure if she was trying to make smalltalk, “Well,” he said uncertainly, “how do you like it?”

“Oh it’s fantastic!” she said, holding up the bag, “Look this bag I got! And the store owner was such a nice man! After I paid, I just HAD to help him with a little problem as a thanks for helping me pick it out!”

“Problem?” Dave asked with a frown.

“Oh,” The witch said absently, “well there was a rather rude customer who was berating the sales staff, so I cast a simple hex to freeze him for a few seconds,” she put a hand over her mouth and giggled, “I told him to cool off.”

Dave’s eyes went wide, “Uh miss, I don’t know if you knew but you’re only supposed to use your magic for transportation here.”

Her eyes went wide, “W-what!?”

The door slid open and a police officer walked in. Behind him walked an old looking man in a robe, with a long pointy hat, a police badge haphazardly pinned on his walking staff. A wizard, Dave realized.

The two walked right up to the witch and him, “We’ve got a report of unlawful magic use at a department store downtown,” the officer said. “A witch, mid 20s, black hair, black robes.” He glanced at the broom and frowned, “A… standard flying broom.”

“It can’t be her,” Dave said suddenly, “She’s been with me all morning!”

“Yes!” the witch said, shooting him a smile, “I’ve been with him!”

The officer glared at the two of them before turning back to the wizard, “What do you think?” he asked.

The wizard shrugged, “It sounds to me like no one was hurt, so we can probably end the pursuit for now, since this OBVIOUSLY isn’t the enchantress we’re looking for…” he glared at the witch who seemed to wither, “BUT if that rogue witch messes up again she might be getting a lightning bolt for her trouble.” The wizard and the police officer turned to leave the shop.

“Whew!” she breathed with a smile, “you really saved me back there!” She turned back to him, “I’m Darcy by the way, Darcy the Terrifying.”

“Dave,” he said, shaking her hand, “Darcy the… Terrifying?”

“Family name,” she said dismissively, “No relation to Gorgoth the Terrifying.”

The two of them ordered their coffee, and he paid for hers when the clerk couldn’t give change for a gold coin.

“You’re a real lifesaver Dave,” Darcy said, “I’m still trying to figure out this human stuff, so the storekeeper summons gold from your vault to his by scanning that little card?”

“Something like that,” he said. He looked at his watch and had an idea, “Hey, why don’t I take a day to show you around? I’ve got some vacation time that’s going to get paid out automatically soon, my boss will be happy to see me gone for the day.”

“That sounds wonderful!” Darcy exclaimed.

When they were done with their coffee and Dave had called in to work the two of them walked out onto the sidewalk.

“So that’s a bus stop,” he said, “We can wait here for-“

“Oh we don’t need that,” Darcy said, with a snap of her fingers her broom seemed to come to life, hovering a few feet off the ground. She climbed on it like a bike, “Hop on!” she said, patting a space on it behind her.
Dave figured he’d come this far, and lifted a leg over it. He gasped as it felt like an invisible force held him in place, it was almost like there were footrests for him.

“I don’t want you falling off now!” Darcy said, “put your arms around my waist!”

He did so and tried not to scream as they took off into the sky accelerating so fast the world was a blur.

It was a magical day, no pun intended. The two of them visited parks, museums, and laughed together at street performers. Darcy in particular spent nearly an hour trying to determine how a street magician was “using magic” without her sensing it. They’d gotten dinner together at a Italian restaurant on the riverfront and by the time they were beginning to feel tired the sun was already down.

At the end of the day she landed the broom in front of his apartment, he stepped off it lightly while she kept hovering there in the air.

“That was the best day I’ve had in years!” Darcy laughed, “I can’t believe everyone says human guys are a bunch of uptight scaredy cats!”

“Uptight scaredy cats?” he asked with a laugh, “well they don’t know what they’re missing, I had a great time too!”

“You should come over to the magical district sometime!” she said with a smile, “I could show you around my neck of the woods!”

“I’d love to!” he said, he didn’t want to get ahead of himself but… Witch or not Darcy was cute. Could you date a witch? I mean there wasn’t any law saying you couldn’t…

Her eyes lit up, “Oh there’s this Elven place I’ve wanted to try for weeks now, let’s go to dinner this Friday!”

“It’s a date!” he said, and was shocked when she leaned over and kissed him.

“See you then!” she said with a blush as she pulled away. A moment later she was soaring through the sky again. Briefly he saw her silhouetted against the moon… was that a cackle?

…

Friday he waited outside of his apartment, flowers in hand. He frowned as a beat-up Cadillac pulled up. The window rolled down, revealing a red skinned succubus with curled goat horns, mirrored sunglasses, and a lit cigarette dangling from her lips.

“You Dave?” she asked, puffing smoke out the window.

“Yeah, why?” he asked, a bit confused.

The succubus grinned, “I’m Jezebel, Darcy screwed up a potion she was making for a BIG client and she said she’s running late. She asked me to give you a lift to the restaurant”

“So are you like her friend or…?”

Jezebel took another drag of the cigarette, “Kinda, but I also owe her a favor, and you don’t want to owe witches favors.”

Not sure what else to do he stepped into the backseat of the car and shut the door behind him. He coughed a minute from the cigarette smoke. The succubus shot him an apologetic glance and flicked the cigarette out the window.

“Sorry. I love smoking, it reminds me of home.” She left the window open while she drove, letting the cab air out.

“So you’re going on a date with Darcy?” she mused, “Bold for a human.”

“Really?” he asked, “she seemed nice.”

The demon laughed, “That’s the thing, humans let their guard down around witches because they look so much like you… you ever wonder why that is?”

Dave shook his head and Jezebel continued, “Well she’s not just a human that can do magic, they just sort of evolved to LOOK like humans. Underneath that soft pale skin she’s got an anatomy more like mine. Now why would something need to blend in Dave?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

“Predation stupid,” she said, slapping the steering wheel with a laugh. “Most magical creatures want or need something from humans, and they’ve all got a way they used to get it before you and them went your separate ways.” She took off the sunglasses and made eye contact with him in the rear view mirror, he gulped as he saw her bright yellow eyes. “Witches used to kidnap men they fancied, practice magic on them… it’s in a witch’s blood to toy with a cute human. They get off on the power, it’s like a drug to them. The question is what game does she want to play and is it one you’ll survive?”

“You’re just trying to freak me out,” he said with a nervous smile, “Darcy is a sweet girl!” He recalled her casually mentioning she’d frozen someone and forced the smile to stay on his face.

Jezebel shrugged, “Darcy is a softhearted little thing, but instinct runs deep. Just so you know once you’re over in a magical community all of the old ways apply. If you sell your soul for magic beans no human court will come along to bail you out.”

They passed a large sign, “NOW ENTERING MAGICAL DISTRICT.”

“Tell me about those ah, old ways,” he asked nervously.

Jezebel chuckled softly, “Lucifer’s beard kid you’re going out with a witch in a magical district and you didn’t even look them up? Well I guess the general rule is don’t make any agreements unless you know all the terms, don’t give any part of yourself away either. What place is she taking you?”

“Celine’s,” he said, “Elvish food I think.”

Jezebel sighed with relief, “Well you’re going to be okay then kid, you’ve just got to remember to order the Human special.”

“The human special?” he repeated.

“That’s right,” Jezebel repeated, “Don’t even LOOK at anything else on the menu, a lot of Elvish food can have weird magical side effects, so you need to be sure you’re ordering something for humans.”

…

“Celine’s” was nestled into a wooded grpve outside of the city. The building looked like it had almost grown out of the ground, with tree roots and leaves adorning it… although it had a very modern looking parking lot next to it. Not sure what to wear he’d gone with slacks and a button up shirt. Jezebel had dropped him off out front, and a moment later Darcy descended from the sky on her broom.

“I’m so sorry about that!” she said nervously. “I had to brew a new potion from scratch!”

“It was no problem,” he said absently, thinking over Jezebel’s warnings.
Looking Darcy in the face it was hard to keep his guard up like the demon had warned him… Darcy’s smile when she saw him seemed pretty genuine.

The two of them walked into the restaurant together. The elves greeted them and waved them in, they were all female, all blonde, and all with pointy ears. The most striking feature was their height though, none of them came up even to his chest.
 
“A table for “The Terrible,” Darcy said with a smile.

 They were seated in a secluded spot with a few vines of ivy hanging from the ceiling. One of the elves came by and lit a pair of candles for them. Next came the menus, Dave blanched as he realized they were in some slithery script he couldn’t’ read.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Darcy said, glancing at it, “You don’t read Elvish…”

“Would you like an English menu?” the perky elf in the waitress outfit asked.

“No need,” he said, closing it, “I’ll have the human special.”

The waiter’s eyes went wide, “Sir, since you are a first time customer are you absolutely certain you would like to-“

Nice try, he thought, “No,” he cut her off, “I really think I’d like the human special.”

Darcy seemed a bit taken aback, but she turned to the elf, “You heard him, that’s what we’re having for dinner.”

He was about to ask why she didn’t order anything, but as soon as the waiter was gone Darcy practically bounced with excitement.

“Dave I can’t believe you want to try that! I’ve never had the human special before, I’ve always wanted to try but I didn’t think I’d ever meet anyone up for it!”

Her enthusiasm was contagious, “Well,” he said, fighting the urge to ask questions, “I’m full of surprises.”

Their waiter brought another over who looked a bit older, she glanced up and down at Dave and nodded.

“Your hand please,” she asked.

Hesitantly he offered it and the older elf produced a needled and pricked the tip of his finger before he could react. He winced as a drop of blood fell, the younger waiter quickly caught it in a strange goblet that started bubbling.

Dave didn’t know much about magic, but that was the moment he realized he had probably made a mistake.

“What was-“ he was starting to get woozy, Darcy’s grin widened as his vision faded.

“Oh my goddess it’s happening!” she squealed just as he went unconscious.

…

When he woke up he was groggy, and it took a moment for him to get his bearings. Wherever he was it was dark, and he was on top of something that was soft, but still had a bit of give to it. There was a yeasty smell and he stuck his nose to the ground to confirm his suspicion… was that bread?

The ceiling lifted away and light poured in suddenly. He gasped as he looked up and saw that what he’d thought was a ceiling was actually the top of a serving tray. Darcy’s titanic face grinned down at him, idly twirling a spoon as long as a city bus in one hand.

One of the elvish waiters, so small a moment ago, appeared next to Darcy. Small next to the witch maybe, but a second colossus to him.

“The first dish is a pita bread with our house made hummus, enjoy!”

“DARCY!” he shouted as loud as he could, “WHAT HAPPENED!?” he had to be an inch tall, his heart was racing as he thought of all the things Jezebel had told him about witches.

“There’s no need to shout,” Darcy said with a smirk, “I can hear you perfectly well.”

She took the spoon and scooped a small amount of hummus on the bread, he wasn’t sure if she did it intentionally or not but he was forced to run to the other side as she did so. He nervously watched that spoon, so massive to him, ascend into the air again as Darcy gently placed it next to the hummus dish.

“Darcy I think there’s been a mistake or something,” he said, “I’m-“

“Soooo small,” she said excitedly, “I know!” she tore a piece of the bread she’d put hummus on and he watched as half his world went up into her mouth. She chewed a few seconds and swallowed.

“No Darcy this wasn’t what I wanted!” he protested.

She froze, “What do you mean?” she asked uncertainly, “you ordered the human special, you gave the waiter your blood for the spell-“

“I thought it was going to be a steak or something!”

Darcy stopped and stared at him for a minute, “Dave,” she said slowly, “You’re already tiny, and magical contracts have to be… completed.”

He swallowed nervously, “W-what do you mean?”

With a sad smile Darcy gestured to the plate, “what do you think happens to humans who order the human special?”

His eyes went wide, “Darcy no, you can’t!”

“This is already in motion Dave,” she said as she picked up the spoon and scooped up more hummus. “It’s got to be finished… and besides, you look delicious!”

“Jezebel was right about you!” he shouted as he turned to run for the edge of the plate. The spoonful of hummus came down and blocked him, standing over him like a brick wall.

“I should have known Jezebel said something to you,” she muttered angrily. The spoon pushed him down to the bread and roughly spread the hummus over him. “Do you know she told my first boyfriend that witches were hermaphrodites?” Seeing his shocked expression she sighed angrily, “It’s not true!”

Stuck to a giant piece of bread and glued in place by the hummus, he could only watch in horror as she tore off the piece containing his trapped form. Slowly, deliberately, he was lifted up in front of her massive face.

“So what did Jezebel say about me?” She asked sweetly, though there was an edge underneath it.

“S-she said that witches liked to toy with humans,” he said. “That you’d… use magic on me, and you got off on feeling powerful.”

Darcy stopped and bit her lower lip, her face a bit flushed, “Uhhh…”

“Darcy?” he asked nervously. He was beginning to get scared, but another part of him was feeling… odd about this. Darcy was unbelievable stunning when she was looking down at him like a mountain, and… did he LIKE feeling insignificant?

“Well… maybe she sometimes tells the truth a little,” Darcy said with an evil grin.

“DARCY!?” he pleaded one last time, it scared him that her smile was turning him on more than anything he’d ever seen in his life.

His heart sank as she opened her mouth. The bread was guided into the enormous cavern, slowly, she was taking her time… letting him wallow in it. With the same deliberately glacial pace the lips closed behind him, sealing him and the chunk of bread and hummus in.

He shouted for help as he was tossed about by her tongue, it seemed to be searching for him. As saliva pooled in the cavern and the bread was chomped to mush he was guided into the relative safety of her cheek. At first he held out hope that she was keeping him safe and would spit him out, but soon he was forced back into a pile with the other food. He panicked and clawed for any sort of leverage as the tongue tipped back and saliva began to rise around him.

Suddenly he was pulled down by the immense suction of her swallowing, the world seemed to close around him as he was squeezed from all sides and ferried down to her stomach. Panic really set in at that point and he struggled as hard as he ever had as the air left his lungs. He heard something from outside… a giggle? All of his efforts, and it had just made her giggle.

He felt an opening hear his feet, and slowly he was dropped, almost lazily, into the open area of her stomach. He splashed down into the mix of half-digested food and swam for dear life, he felt a tingle on his arms and panicked as he wondered if he’d be dissolved…

…

Darcy finished the bread and wiped her mouth delicately with a cloth napkin. Dave had REALLY fought going down, she’d almost reached for a glass of ice water but thought that eating the poor guy and then subjecting him to freezing cold water might be a bit mean.

“Hey Darcy,” Jezebel plopped down in the seat across from her where only twenty minutes ago her date had sat.

“Jezebel,” she uttered poisonously. “I see you’ve been sabotaging my love life again.”

The demon shrugged, “what are friends for?”

Darcy tried to say something but as she opened her mouth she was interrupted by a small burp. She held the napkin up to her mouth in embarrassment for a second while Jezebel fought to keep from laughing.

“It sounds like your date’s having fun,” the succubus mused.

“I suppose it was you that told him to get the special?” she asked as the waiter took her plate away.

“Well duh,” Jezebel laughed, “Did he panic? Run around and try to get away?”

“A bit,” Darcy admitted.

“It was fun right?” Jezebel asked eagerly, leaning across the table, “I know you witches better than you know yourselves, seriously I do it’s part of being a succubus.” She gestured around the room, “I could tell you the mental state of everyone in this building!”

“I don’t know why I hang out with you,” Darcy muttered. “You always do stuff like this.”
“Because I’m fun!” Jezebel cooed. “Also I’m a succubus, I LITERALLY get stronger when I get people to give into their desires. Personally, I think I’m doing you and Dave a favor. Now tell me straight girl, did you get a little turned on when you did it?”

Darcy’s embarrassed face gave her all the answers she needed.

“When you see Dave again ask him how it was for him,” Jezebel said with a smile, “He’s scared, REALLY scared, but I think a part of him will come around.” She paused a minute and frowned, “You DID tell him he was going to come back, right?”

Darcy’s eyes went wide, “Oooohhh… oops.”

Jezebel burst out laughing, “Oh Lucifer, it gets better and better.” She got up, “Have a nice date Darcy, I’ll see you around.”

…

Dave jumped as he realized he was suddenly somewhere else. Somewhere bright and sterile, a kitchen? The elves bustled to and fro around him, ignoring him as though he were a bug. The restaurant kitchen! He was alive! His hands quickly raced over his body, everything where it should be, even his clothes were clean and dry again.

“What’s up little man?” He looked up suddenly to see Jezebel looming over him, a smug grin on her face. A pointed tail swished back and forth arrogantly behind her. “Did you like the special?”
“You!” he shouted angrily, “you got me shrunk and-“

She plucked up his miniscule form between two fingers and lifted him high up to her face. If Darcy’s smile was intimidating, Jezebel’s, with fangs and burning yellow eyes, was almost terrifying.

“Yes, I tricked you into shrinking yourself,” Jezebel admitted, “I knew you fell for it as soon as it happened, we demons have a sort of sixth sense for knowing when the little seeds of trouble we’ve planted sprout.” She chuckled, “I just HAD to come back and see how it played out.”

“You’ve ruined our date,” he said, maybe one brush with death had made him a bit bold, but he let anger towards the giant succubus override his fear.

“Ruined?” Jezebel asked, “Please, Darcy’s having the time of her life. And you…” Jezebel’s tongue flicked out, he realized it was long and forked like a snake’s as it ran over her lips. “You seem to be finding something appealing about this whole situation, no?”

“D-don’t be ridiculous,” he protested.

Jezebel rolled her eyes, “What don’t you understand about me being a succubus? You can’t lie to me about anything like that, give me a few minutes to ask you the right questions and I could probably make a list of everything that’s ever turned you on.”

“She just looked so amazing,” he admitted, it was like a dam broke, “Like a goddess and I was just her plaything.”

“Good boy,” Jezebel said, licking her own lips. “You know, I’ve never actually tried shrunken human… and you’re all set up on a reincarnation circuit.”

“Hey what are you doing back here!” an elfin voice shouted suddenly.

Dave turned to see an elf with blue hair and a puffy chef’s hat pointing a wooden spoon at the succubus.

“I have a kitchen to run and I need that human NOW!”

Darcy shot a quick glance at Dave, “Hell’s  bells,” she muttered, “I really wanted to do this slow.” Before he could react he was popped in her mouth, unlike Darcy who took her time with him Jezebel quickly forced him to the back of her mouth. Where Darcy’s breath had been merely hot and humid Jezebel smelled like smoke and tobacco, not entirely unpleasant but he didn’t have much time to analyze it before the powerful muscles swallowed him into the wet darkness of her throat.

He was suddenly sitting on the counter again. He hadn’t even made it to Jezebel’s stomach.

The blue haired elf, the head chef? Was standing over the counter he was on now, “Sorry about that humie, I don’t know who let that succubus back here but it looks like she shaved off one of your lives.” She scowled, “We’ll knock ten percent off your bill.

“One of my lives?” he asked.

The elf pointed to the wooden disk he was sitting on, it had a few glowing red dots, as he watched one faded and disappeared, leaving three.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier,” the chef said, picking him up in a gloved hand. “I’m Celine, I was going to talk to you about the appetizer but you weren’t fully awake yet and we had to get it out.”

“Uh, don’t worry about it,” he said. “So… am I going to come back every time she…”

“Eats you?” the chef laughed, “of course, this would be rather monstrous if you didn’t.” She took on a sudden prideful air, “I’ll have you know my family was the first to ever shrink and eat humans, we were trying to scare you away from some important trees.” she giggled, “The use of the magic… kind of went in a different direction after that.”

She placed him down on a table with a number of bowls filled with various mixtures, “So does your special lady like anything in particular or is it chef’s choice?”

“Chef’s choice I guess,” he looked up at a collection of recipe cards tacked to a board. With a start he realized that instead of dishes they each listed names, and instead of a picture of the dish there were photos.

Seeing his shock the Chef gestured up at them, “Regulars,” she explained, “everyone’s got their own method of preparation.”

Her gloved fingers came down and started to pull at his clothes, he was still too much in shock to fight her much, and wadding his shirt and pants up like they were candy wrappers the Elven chef casually tossed them in a nearby trashcan.

“Mr. Martin likes his whiskey so I marinate him in it,” the chef said as she dipped him in a bowl. He gasped as he realized he was being coated in a kind of oil. “Mr. Ericson has a peanut allergy, so I don’t let any near him…” She plunged him into something crumbling, rolling him in them delicately and making sure none got near his head. He soon had an even coating of parmesan cheese crumbles. She looked at one recipe card and shuddered, “Oh that humie is such a masochist, his girlfriend always orders him with something spicy.”

Another elf came by and dropped a plate of pasta with a red sauce next to the Chef’s station. Delicately Celine grasped him, trying not to disrupt his coating as she laid him on the bed of noodles.

“There we go,” she said sweetly, “How is it? Not too hot?”

“It’s perfect,” he said, not sure what else to say. Gently the chef took a small fork and nestled the pasta around him slightly.

“Do you want any changes to your reincarnation circuit?” She asked as she pulled up a bubbling cup. With a start he realized it was the same one he’d let his blood drop into earlier.

“What do you mean?” he asked uncertainly.

“Well usually I make it so you don’t sit in the stomach too long,” she explained, “Some people want to spend more time in there, some people want to ride all the way to the end.” She grinned, “some of the people into this… want it to hurt a bit, some people want to feel everything. Not my cup of tea but say the word and the potion could be… adjusted.”

“No I’m good,” he said hurriedly. This was already weird enough for him.

“Well I think you’re done then,” Celine said with a smile. She tapped a small bell at the edge of the desk, “Order up!”

…

Darcy nervously fiddled with her fork, wondering what she would say to Dave. She brightened as an elf brought out a dish of pasta and slid it in front of her. The pasta looked delicious, and she felt her mouth begin to water as she looked over her dish for Dave. She giggled as she realized he was covered in crumbly white cheese that seemed almost deliberately chosen to help him blend in.

“Darcy,” he greeted neutrally when he realized he’d been spotted. He marveled again at how stunning she looked at that size. If he got excited again… would see it from here?

Gently she stuck a fork into a part of the pasta away from him and begin twirling it, collecting noodles.

“So…” she said in a low voice, “I kind of forgot to mention-“

“I had a talk with the chef,” he said, deciding to omit Jezebel’s little visit for now. “I… think I get it.”

“Whew,” Darcy laughed nervously, “Well that’s one less awkward conversation…” her stomach rumbled, the bread hand only piqued her appetite.

The fork lifted and he watched pasta strands as thick as his wrist dangle as she took a bite. She moaned as she savored the sauce. She slurped a straggling noodle into her mouth and swallowed.

“It really is good,” she said, bringing her fork down near him, “Next time we come here you should try ordering off the menu instead of trying to get on it.”

After a few minutes she made eye contact with him and they both realized she was ready for the meal’s protein. Dave tried to stumble through the noodles but it was like running through a field full of hoses. Darcy simply stuck the fork in the pasta behind him and began to twist. Like a current he was drawn with the sliding noodles until he was drawn up into the bundle already around the fork. She spun it a few more times, causing the noodles to wrap him tightly to her fork like thick cables.

“Oh the poor human is all tied up,” she cooed. “Go on, struggle a bit.”

He was already struggling, and as she realized this and chuckled softly.

“Wow, can’t even get off the fork to save your life… if you beg maybe I’ll let you go.”

The teasing was REALLY starting to get to him, and he was as turned on as he’d ever been. He felt utterly helpless at this size, and he… loved it? She certainly did. Something broke in him at that point, he decided to take Jezebel’s advice and lean into it.

“Please let me go Darcy!” he begged, “Come on I’m so small you’d hardly even notice eating me!”

“Oh but I’m sooo hungry,” she pouted, “and besides you kind of have it coming don’t you?”

He managed to get an arm free but with the smallest flick of her wrist another line of noodles wrapped around him, tying him securely again.

“I mean Jezebel had a point, a human dating a witch… you don’t see cats spending a lot of time with canaries. Do you really feel like it’s a good idea to be dating up the food chain?”

The hungry eyes, the teasing personality, the casual way she trapped him and toyed with him… Dave was feeling overwhelmed on all fronts, but in a way he couldn’t get enough of.

“To spend time with you?” he said, almost in awe, “it’s worth the risk.”

Her eyebrows raised slightly and the teasing smile was replaced by a more genuine one, “I’m… really glad to hear that.”

She tapped the fork once against the plate causing the noodles around him to tumble apart, releasing him back onto the dish. He stood up and tried to regain his footing, wondering if she wanted to “chase” him again. He was answered when the fork gently pushed it’s way under him and lifted. He grasped the prongs tightly, struggling to stay on as he was brought once again up to her face. Her eyes went wide with delight as she realized that, under the crumbled coating the elven chef had applied, he was naked.

“Don’t you look savory!” she giggled.
 
With that she leaned forward and, opening her lips JUST enough to let him and the fork in, closed her mouth around him. There was a sliding feeling underneath and a small wet sound as the fork withdrew, leaving him alone in the dark cavern.

He was suddenly pressed to the roof of her mouth and he felt a vacuum all around him as she sucked on him like a piece of candy. Little by little the coating was rubbed off him by her tongue and rinsed away by her spit until he was truly naked.

He braced himself to be swallowed but… instead she flipped him over roughly with her tongue. He heard a low giggle as the tongue began to cup slightly around his groin… rubbing sensually. He gasped and clutched the slimy surface hard. The tongue picked up speed and he felt that same vacuum around him as she sucked him as hard as she could. He grunted in pleasure as he finished, and everything was swept away down her throat as soon as it came out.

He panted and tried to force the tongue away to get some breathing room but suddenly there was an opening behind him and he realized that she was sending him the same way. He was almost limp this time as he was squeezed by her throat muscles, and when he dropped into the warm pool of her stomach he didn’t fight at all as he slipped under.

…

Darcy leaned back in her chair and patted her belly. Licking her lips once more she savored the aftertaste of Dave in her mouth, a lasting sign that she’d given him a treat of his own before sending him on his way. From the lack of struggle on the way down the experience must have been… overpowering, the thought pleased her.

“Dessert menu ma’am?” An elf asked, handing her one.

Darcy thanked her and began looking over her options for the final course of the evening. That entrée was going to be a tough act to follow… Her eyes glanced over the final listed menu item and she grinned, it was perfect.

…

Dave blinked as he realized he was in the kitchen again, Celine was looming over him eagerly, her elfin ears twitching with anticipation.

“Well?” she asked eagerly, “how was it? Did she like it?”

“It was great!” he said. It was a bit jarring to go from naked and exhausted to fully clothed and alert again in the blink of an eye, but he was beginning to get the hang of it.

Celine clapped her hands together and beamed, “Excellent! You’re really taking to this quickly. I hope you guys become repeat customers and we can really refine you as an ingredient.”

Another elf walked by, stopping briefly to hand Celine an order form. Celine read over it, frowned, and nodded. She walked to a nearby shelf and picked up a goblet he recognized as the one that was tying him into this spell.

“We’re going to need to adjust your size for this next dish,” the elf muttered. She grabbed some powder off the same shelf and sprinkled it into the goblet, he gasped as the world seemed to stretch around him. The petite elf, who had once been the size of a building, now loomed over him more like a mountain. A pair of tweezers appeared in her gloved hand and delicately lowered down to him. He allowed himself to be grasped and was lifted through the air until the massive steel pincers held him above small pudding bowl full of… sprinkles?

He was dropped and he screamed as he fell what felt like a hundred feet, he landed without any pain in a pile of long cylindrical objects. They WERE sprinkles, multicolored ones, and each was at least three times his size.

With a hum the elf grabbed the bowl and dipped one finger in, stirring the colorful toppings around him and swirling him into their midst. He wasn’t trapped in them for long, he felt them moving like an avalanche around him as the bowl was poured onto something. He couldn’t see much but the giant sprinkles raining around him until he made contact with something soft, sticky and cream white. He licked his lips and tasted the mixture, it was cake frosting.

…

Darcy smiled and thanked the waiter as the small cupcake was placed in front of her. She knew Dave was a topping on it somewhere down there, but she’d deliberately chosen a dish that would leave him too small to see or hear unless she really looked, and she didn’t intend to.

Gently she picked the cupcake up and took the first bite, chewing slowly, deliberately. She wondered if she’d gotten Dave already, but in case she hadn’t she made sure to hold the rest up in front of her mouth so anyone on it would be able to see. She gave an exaggerated gulp.

“Mmmm,” she said with a smile as she licked traces of frosting off her lips.

To Dave, who had been missed by the first bite, it was like watching a force of nature. Darcy had casually bitten the mountain of frosting he was trapped on in half. He’d felt pathetic before, now he wasn’t even a bug. He tried shouting but she didn’t seem to respond, whatever spell had let them communicate before had been cut off.

The smiling mouth opened again and this time the roof of her mouth cast a long shadow over him, there was nowhere to run, no WAY to run, even the light frosting had easily trapped him in place. Her teeth came down and the piece of frosting he was on was separated quickly and cleanly from the rest.

He was tossed around like he was in the ocean at sea, she couldn’t have differentiated him from anything else in her mouth even if she tried. This time when the swallow came it pulled down him and everything around him, like the world collapsing.

…

Darcy finished with her napkin and gave a contented sigh, tossing it onto her plate. She didn’t eat sweets often, but she was treating herself tonight. Leaning back in her chair she let a hand lay over her belly again and wondered how Dave was doing.

“Miss, would you like a to-go box for your human?” the perky elf asked sweetly.

Darcy waved a hand lazily, “No, I don’t think I could eat another bite, and besides I think he’s had enough for one day.” She fished a few gold coins out of her purse and left them on the table for the bill. The elf smiled and nodded before returning to the kitchen.

…

Dave appeared in the kitchen again, from the immense size of the counter and the grinning elf looking down at him he could tell he had reformed at the smaller size.

Celine swirled a glass of wine in one hand and gave a contented sigh, “Well it’s almost closing and it’s been another successful night.” She glanced down at him, “Your lady friend doesn’t want a to-go box and you’ve still got one reincarnation left.”

“So what then?” he asked. “Do you just grow me back or-“

He realized that Celine couldn’t hear him but she could guess his question, “It’s like any other restaurant,” she said casually as she lowered the wine glass until the rim was just below level with the counter, “Staff get the leftovers and extra orders.”

Her free hand slammed down on the other side of him, and with a sweeping gesture she easily catapulted his speck sized form off the counter and into the waiting wine glass. He made contact with a splash and swam to the surface, sputtering as he struggled to tread.

Without another word Celine brought the wine glass to her lips and tipped it. Taking a long slow draught she created more than enough current to pull the struggling Dave in. As she held the wine in her mouth to savor the flavor she idly checked the surface of what was still pooled in the glass. When she was sure she’d gotten the speck-sized shrunken human she swallowed.

…

Dave tried to keep his composure as he realized he was now sitting in front of Darcy at their table again. Had he simply appeared in a puff of smoke? A question for another time, he figured.

“Welcome back,” Darcy said with a subdued smile, “Did you enjoy dinner?”

“It certainly was an experience,” he admitted. It was surreal, Darcy had stood over him like a goddess all night, and now she was just the cute girl he’d met at the coffee shop again.

“Well did you manage to get enough to eat while you were… little?” Darcy asked.

In all the commotion he hadn’t really thought of that, “Uh, no,” he said, “Maybe I could just order something to go?”

Darcy waved dismissively, “They’re closing up for the night, tell you what why don’t you come back to my place and let me make you something?”

He peered at her suspiciously, “Is it going to be… normal food? No magic?”

She laughed, almost snorting, “Well Dave I’m going to use magic to MAKE it yeah, but the food itself won’t have any magical properties, I promise.”

As they walked out into the parking lot Darcy motioned for him to follow her into a more empty area. Tossing her broom on the ground it hovered up, expectantly.

“So Dave,” she asked casually, “Did you… like being toyed with?”

He thought about how to respond to that, “I was scared at first… but yeah I think I might have a thing for it.”

She stepped close to him suddenly. Though she was a few inches shorter than him and had to look up to meet his eyes it was definitely an aggressive gesture. He hand reached up and around her head and drew him into a long kiss.

“When we get back to my place I can show you all kinds of ways a girl can use magic to play with you,” she breathed huskily. She mounted the broom and grinned at him. “Well? What are you waiting for?”

He returned the smile as he got onto the broom and put his arms around her waist. The two rocketed off into the night.