“Oh, come on. What’s the harm?” Frustrated, John ran his fingers through his hair, bushing his shaggy brunette bangs away from his eyes. A slight hoarseness clouded his youthful voice, a symptom of his struggle. Raising his sun-browned hand to shield his vision from the sun, John glanced at the grassy field around him, straining his eyes as he attempted to discern the time of day. It was near noon. Satisfied, the human turned his eyes back towards the creature in front of him, shifting slightly to get more comfortable atop his rocky seat.

                “I could get in big trouble!” From atop John’s knee, the bell-like voice of a golden fairy reached the young man’s ears with a grating whine. Blessed with the striking allure all his kind were gifted with, Airy was a paragon of ephemeral beauty and the very image of a squandered blessing. Despite a lifetime spent beneath the open sun, his skin shone like pale moonlight, complimenting his gossamer wings. Despite a lifetime of neglect, his golden hair draped across his shoulders like the finest satin, matching the hue of his magical glow. Despite a lifetime without bathing, he smelled of nectar and a spring breeze, enchanting all who had the fortune of experiencing his presence. Had Airy been the height of a human instead of John’s middle finger, he would have easily been considered the greatest beauty across the land. Yet despite the fairy’s constant nakedness, John could only feel repulsion at the winged creature. All of these natural blessings were wasted on the vile thing before him.

                It was as if Airy’s every action were carefully crafted to make a mockery his otherworldly gifts. Rather than endearing, his child-like attitude was selfish and whiney. The fairy was vulgar and crude, not hesitating to fart when perched upon John’s shoulder or pass waste out in the open. Lacking any sense of personal boundaries, John had repeatedly been caught off- guard as the flying pest had attempted to clamber down his shirt in order to take a nap or undo John’s belt to satisfy his curiosity. However, the greatest insult of all to Airy’s feminine perfection was the vulgar length between his thighs and his propensity to play with it when bored.

                Airy got bored easily…

                “How bad could it be?” However, despite his absolute loathing for the fairy perched upon his knee, John maintained a perfect smile. Airy had something he wanted: Something he desperately needed. The fairy held the key to changing John’s life, and John had to hold back his disgust until the moment he got it.

                “You don’t understand! Not all humans are nice like you. There are some bad humans out there John. Really bad! They trap us and take us away and… and…”

                …And sell you.

Greed swirled within John’s hazel eyes, though he was careful to keep it from his face. Fairies were considered a rare magical ingredient, sold at a high price to those who practiced the arcane crafts. However, mentioning that now might alert his target to his true intentions.

               “…And?” So instead, John played dumb, hoping to lull Airy into a false sense of security with his façade of ignorance.

               “I don’t remember…” Of course John’s feigned stupidity was a pale imitation before the real thing. For all the fairies’ natural gifts, a brain was not included, if Airy was to be taken as an example of his kind. There wasn’t a meeting that went by where the little nuisance didn’t forget what he was talking about mid sentence or become distracted by some commonplace occurrence of nature. It was a marvel that his kind hadn’t already gone extinct. However, despite their idiocy, centuries of hunting had rendered them mistrustful of mankind, much to John’s frustration. Only blind chance had permitted John to meet the fairy in the first place; It was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

                “But I’m not like that.” However, rather than snatching up the fairy on the spot and selling him to the highest bidder, John had bigger aspirations. Sure, selling one fairy could change his life, but what about more? John didn’t want to be well off; He wanted to be rich! A single, stupid fairy was nowhere near enough to satisfy the ambitions smoldering within him.

                “I know…” Airy’s disturbingly perfect face scrunched up with remorse, inner conflict shining within his golden eyes. The fairy was so innocent, so pure: Free from hurt, hardship, and the complexities of civilized life. Seeing another living a life free of the pain that was John’s every waking moment sickened the young man to his core.

                “Then what’s the problem?” However, despite Airy’s naiveté, John’s attempts to convince the Fairy had proven fruitless so far.

                “The elders would get mad at me!” A lifetime of indoctrinated paranoia held fast within the fairy’s heart, barring John’s will.

                “So?” John shrugged his shoulders, hoping to downplay Airy’s concerns. Although the fairy seemingly forgot that they had already had this conversation dozens of times before, John had not. He knew what came next.

                “I could get in big trouble!” Once again, Airy repeated the same line: an endless loop John had long grown tired of.

                “You already said that… What kind of trouble?” And once again, John asked the same follow-up question: another endless loop John had long grown tired of.

                “Nobody would share their sweets with me for like a week!” The first time Airy had explained the punishment for breaking his people’s taboo, John had laughed, expecting it an easy obstacle to overcome. However, in the months since, he had come to understand the power a sweet treat held over the simple creature. The unfamiliar threats of capture and extraction meant nothing to Airy compared to the familiar pain of an empty belly or an aching sweet tooth.

                “I bring you sweets all the time though…” Though John loathed sweets, he had found in them an easy way to earn his little target’s endearment, if not his trust. At the very least, the months of cookies and candies John had given Airy had led the fairy to regard John as harmless. In truth, John had been hoping the amount sweets he had been bringing would have rendered the village’s threats laughable…

                “Yeah, but I’d be missing out on even MORE sweets!!! That’s the sweets you bring AND the sweets from the village!” … But he had sorely underestimate Airy’s gluttony… Both witnessing the fairy nursing a seemingly pregnant belly and emptying it had only fueled John’s revulsion for fairy-kind.

                “Yeah, but I can’t keep bringing sweets if I don’t have more fairies to draw.” Sweets were an expensive treat. For several months, John had struggled to earn enough money to afford the fairy’s costly tastes. However, his tributes had only gotten him so far…

                “But why?!?!” Airy cried out, shock and despair coloring his crystalline voice.

                “We’ve been over this before...” Innumerable times. John couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice.

                “And I still don’t understand!” There was a desperate edge to the golden fairy’s voice now that his supply of sweets was at risk. With a sigh, John calmed himself before attempting to explain money to Airy for what was probably the hundredth time.

                “Okay, think of it this way. You know how the fairies in your village share what they find?” This time, John chose the simplest example he could imagine: Even simpler than pretty pebbles and flowers.

                “Mmhm…” Airy gave an eager nod, his golden eyes focused for a change.

                “It’s like that. Except, instead of bringing nuts or berries back to my village, I bring drawings of fairies.” Drawing was an easy excuse to explain his interest in Airy, though he had later regretted his choice of cover. He had introduced himself as an artist to the winged pest in order to have an excuse to come visit him, and being the narcissistic brat that he was, Airy had been more than happy to serve as a model. Unfortunately, John had underestimated the cost of art supplies, let alone the practice needed for his lies to remain undetected, even by someone as artistically impaired as Airy.

At John’s continued explanation, Airy once again gave a nod. However, moments later his expression crumpled into an all too familiar one: Confusion.

                “Then why can’t you just keep drawing me?” Airy tilted his head to the side, perplexed. John took a deep breath to keep himself calm before continuing.

               “Well, you don’t eat drawings, right?” This was the greatest obstacle to any conversation with Airy. If it wasn’t food, the little idiot just didn’t seem to get it. For John, explaining “not food” to the nuisance on his knee was akin to explaining a sunset to a blind man.

                “Yeah, so?” Airy tilted his head as he continued to stare up at John.

                “So, when I sell my drawings, they don’t go away.” Or was it more like a bind man with brain damage?

                “And?” Airy frowned, still not getting it.

                “Everybody in my village already has a drawing of you. They don’t need more.” Of course, John hadn’t sold a single one of his drawings. It wasn’t just his lack of talent rendering his sketches unsellable; The sudden appearance of fairy drawings, even ones as bad as John’s, would have tipped others off to his prey. The last thing John needed was competition, forcing him to eat yet another cost in his bid to earn Airy’s trust.

                “But why not? Aren’t I cute?” Airy’s hurt expression brought a nugget of satisfaction to John’s heart.

“Of course!” Unfortunately, he had to sooth the little idiot rather than enjoy it.

                “However, the people in my village want to see LOTS of different fairies. And so, they’re willing to give me more sweets if I can bring them different pictures. Understand?” Gritting his teeth, John forced himself to smile. Hoping against hope that Airy finally, FINALLY, understood one of his explanation.

                Airy’s inhumanly perfect eyebrows drew down into a pensive expression, an expression John had seen at the end of every one of his attempts to enlighten the winged eyesore. Normally, the little idiot would tilt his head and squint for a few minutes before declaring John’s explanation too confusing and giving up. However, this time, a look of understand blossomed on the glowing fairy’s face.

                “So it’s sort of like when I eat so many blueberries that I start wanting raspberries?” Hope blossomed as John heard a somewhat similar analogy push past the fairy’s ruby lips.

                “Correct.” A tinge of excitement colored John’s voice.

                “And everyone’s tummy hurts because they’ve gotten too many drawings of me?” An excited glow blossomed in the fairy’s eyes as he spoke.

                “Sort of…” John’s expression cracked for a moment, but he quickly recovered, urging the fairy onward.

                “So if you can draw new fairies, you’ll be able to get more sweets!” Airy’s voice rose as he spoke, gaining confidence.

                “Exactly!” John felt his heart race as, for the first time, one of his explanations seemed to get through Airy’s thick skull.

                “I understand!” With an excited smile, Airy waved his hands in celebration, congratulating himself on his apparent genius.

                “So will you take me to your village?” John held his breath, not daring to hope, but doing so anyways. For months, he had desperately struggled for this moment, shedding unknown amounts of blood, sweat, and tears as he took every job he could find to afford the art supplies and sweets needed to earn the fairies trust. John could feel his heart beating in his throat as he desperately awaited the fairy’s answer.

                “Sure.”  The golden fairy gave a gentle nod.

At the single word from Airy, John felt something snap within him. Some tension, some strain housed within his body finally relaxed, like the snap of a bowstring. A wave of relief and lightheadedness overcame John as, for the first time in months, the man’s struggles were rewarded. However, a second later, the damned fairy pissed all over his moment happiness.

                “However, I could get in big trouble!” Airy’s whine caused John to pull on his hair, threatening to rip it out his brown locks.

                It took every ounce of self restraint for John to keep himself from snatching the fairy from his knee and spiking the little bastard into the dirt. So much time, effort, and money wasted trying to convince this little turd to open up to him. John fought to keep tears of frustration from welling up in his eyes, earning a look of pity from the fairy which only further fueled his wrath.

                “But I think I have a way to get you into my village without getting in trouble.” However, just as John was considering snatching the fairy from his knee and cutting his losses, Airy opened his mouth once more, offering another drop of hope.

                “Go on…” Swallowing his anger, John leaned in closer to the fairy on his knee, promising himself that if the Fairy’s next words weren’t exactly what he wanted to hear, he’d end this charade once and for all.

                “I don’t think I’ve ever told you before, but we fairies... Well… We have magic…” Airy flew up close to John’s nose, lowering his voice in a conspiratorial whisper. John nearly recoiled as Airy’s sweet stench entered his nostrils, choking back his repulsion as the filthy bastard’s waist bumped into the tip of his nose, bouncing his cock against it. A spicy scent violated John’s sinuses, and the human couldn’t help but pull away.

                “No way! Really?” John barely suppressed a wretch as he struggled to keep a straight face, managing to pass off his reflexive lurch away as surprise instead.

                “Yes, really!” Of course, the little idiot’s voice chimed back with excitement, his partner’s abhorrence completely unnoticed as he puffed out his chest in pride. The offending fleshy hose wobbled unabashedly between the bastard’s legs, forcing John to avert his gaze.

                An awkward pause hung in the air as Airy continued to pose, clearly awaiting some sort of praise.

                “That’s so cool-” Taking advantage of the moment of silence, John regained his composure, taking extra care to keep a bit more distance between himself and Airy.

                “I know right!” At the fairy’s cheery response, John felt another groan fighting its way up his throat.

                “So, anyways. I can use my magic to get you into my village without anyone noticing.” Finally realizing the fairy in front of him wasn’t about to back out at the last minute, a sense of relief once more settled onto the young man at Airy’s words, as well as a sense of excitement. Finally!

                “So, what? Are you going to make me invisible.” John had heard many stories of the fairies’ capacity for magic. If even a fraction of them were true then perhaps…

                “Not exactly…” Airy shook his head, looking a little hesitant.

                “Then what?” His train of thought derailed, John tilted his head in confusion as he looked at Airy.

                “Well, have you ever heard of a gnome before?” At the unexpected name, John thought for a moment, trying to remember what he could about gnomes.

                “I think I have...” The name was vaguely familiar…

                “So they’re like fairies, except they don’t have wings. They live on the ground and live in holes…  Of course, they’re not as cool as fairies…” Hearing Airy’s explanation jogged John’s memory. Supposedly, they were a type of wingless fairies, but inferior to their winged cousins in every way. However, he’d never actually heard of someone seeing one, let alone selling one.

                “Airy-” Sensing a tangent coming, John interrupted the fairy before he could begin bragging about how superior his kind were…

                “Right! Anyways, they look just like humans! Well, except they’re smaller.” A note of excitement crept into the fairy’s voice as he continued to explain.

                “Right…?” John’s expression crumpled in confusion.

                “So I was thinking… If I shrink you, wouldn’t you look just like a gnome?”

                For a moment, John’s brain refused to process Airy’s words. Him, shrink? The idea seemed preposterous. A long silence stretched out as John’s mind tried to make sense of the winged idiot’s suggestion. However, as comprehension started to dawn on the human, John felt his mind slow with disbelief.

                “So, let me get this straight… Your plan is to shrink me… and pass me off as a gnome?” John couldn’t keep the incredulity out of his voice.

                “That’s right!” However, completely unaware of the larger man’s feelings, Airy once more struck a proud pose.

                It took all of a moment for John to think of a hundred reasons to reject the idea outright. Him, the same size as that… thing!? The thought of meeting a relatively-full-sized Airy was revolting. Not to mention the prospect of rendering himself small, vulnerable, and dependant on someone with the attention span of a mite. There were also all the dangers he’d be exposed to due to the change in size, the unknown risk of whether or not Airy’s magic would even work right, and the risk that other fairies might get a hold of him. Absolutely not!

                However, this was the first time John had ever managed to get the little bastard to agree at all. Not wanting to dissuade Airy, John decided to at least entertain the suggestion before proposing a better one.

                “There’s just one problem… How am I supposed to get to your village? I can’t exactly fly there…” Rather than refusing outright, John chose to poke holes in Airy’s plan and have the dumb fairy abandon it himself: Less chances of hurting the nuisance’s delicate feelings.

                “That’s the easy part! I can just carry you there.” Airy’s prideful declaration, as if it was the simplest answer in the world, made John roll his eyes. So not only was he supposed to be reduced to the size of a fairy, but his entire means of transportation was Airy? That was just asking to end up stranded somewhere. More importantly, the idea of that thing groping him mid flight as he flew to the village… Just imagining the smell was enough to send a shiver down John’s spine.

                “And you’ll grow me back to normal afterwards?” As if he’d let things get that far…

                “Of course. You can’t carry many sweets when you’re small now can you?” Oh yes. The sweets. Rolling his eyes, John allowed a long pause to develop as he at least pretended to be giving Airy’s proposal  some consideration.

                “I don’t know... Isn’t it kind of dangerous being that small?” Honestly, John was surprised the fairies weren’t already extinct.

                “Nonsense! I do it all the time and I’m perfectly fine.” Finally seeming to sense John’s hesitation, Airy frantically waved his arms, as if to wave away the young man’s worries.

“Don’t be such a worry wart. It’s perfectly safe.  All I have to do is carry you over to the village, let you take a look, and bring you right back. We’ll be back here and eating sweets this time tomorrow.” John wouldn’t trust the little idiot to carry a tune, let alone himself.

                Deciding that he had entertained Airy’s foolish plan for long enough, John raised his hand to catch the rambunctious degenerate’s attention and guide him towards a more… reasonable plan.

                “Okay. That sounds like a plan. However, couldn’t we-” However, as soon as the words “Okay” left John’s lips, he immediately realized his mistake.

                “Alright!” Without a moment’s hesitation to let John finish his sentence, the little golden slob on his leg erupted in a blaze of golden light, instantly blinding the larger man. John had only a moment to notice the magical heat soaking into his knee before it burned through his body in a explosive blaze of warmth. Moments later, John found himself falling through the air before crashing into a tangled heap of cloth.