“Ugh, fuuuuuuuuu…” groaned Joe, holding his hands over his face, trying to block out the blinding light that threatened to melt his eyes.

“Whas goin on? Where m’ I?” He slurred. The room spun, and the light made his eyes hurt and his head pound. He pressed his palms into his eyes hoping to quell the pain, but found little to no relief. With a throbbing headache caused by either the light or something hitting his brain with a hammer, he tried to think clearly. But it was nearly impossible in his current condition.

Ok think, he told himself. What’s the last thing you remember? Wracking his brain, he thought about the date. That was simple enough. Ok the date was… it was… It was Saturday. Yeah ok that’s a start. Today was Saturday. That meant yesterday was Friday. Ok, and it was the first Friday of the month. The first Friday of the month, now why was that a date that- oh right! That meant it had been the monthly meeting with the board.

Oh right… The meeting. That stupid, cock-fuckery of a meeting. The memory came to him suddenly, and he groaned once again.

“Those fucks!” He yelled, as the floodgates of his mind opened, and the events from the previous day washed over him like a tidal wave. He winced at the sound of his own yelling. Too loud, too loud. He now realized why the light hurt and his head was throbbing and why the sound of his own voice made him want to throw up. He was hungover. And based on how well he was remember the previous day, he had a pretty good idea as to why.



Joe worked as a researcher for Apex Technological Innovations, or ATI for short, a research facility that funded him and his many scientific endeavors. While he’d been pumping out minor successes over the years, none had seemed to appeal to ATI’s picky-ass board of dick-rectors, as he liked to call them, and their greedy little one track minds. All those suit and dress wearing monkeys cared about was tech that would help them make more green stuff.

Their main reason for funding him five years earlier was for no other reason than the potential they saw in his scientific break through: The power of molecular manipulation, AKA a growing/shrinking process. While at the time he’d only managed to make any progress on a molecular level, he theorized that he could scale the process to include larger objects, both organic and inorganic.

While this discovery had limitless potential, ATI’s board had only one goal in mind; To sell the process and make trillions of dollars in the process. They then agreed to fund Joe, giving him 5 years to perfect the process on a larger scale.

Yesterday had been the end of their predetermined date, and while Joe had made incredibly promising strides towards achieving his goal, he had yet to produce any concrete evidence of his process working. The meeting was originally meant to discuss extending the deadline and increase funding, but the board had blindsided Joe and instead terminated their contract right then and there.

After exchanging a few choice words with the bird, the last thing Joe remembers was storming out of the boardroom, driving straight home, and grabbing a full bottle of Jack Daniels from the bar.



Well, that explained the hangover at least. But where was he? His nostrils flared as he smelled the familiar scent of chemicals and basement must. That must have meant he was in his basement lab. There was also a heavy scent of alcohol, masking the lab/basement smell, and Joe glanced around blurry eyed trying to figure out where it was coming from. His eyes searched his immediate surroundings until he glanced upon a bottle of good ol’ Jack Daniels. A Bus sized bottle of good ol’ Jack Daniels.

Joe’s eyes grew wide, and the bleariness faded as the massive brown bottle beside him came into focus. The words Jack Daniels, old No. 7 were printed on a bottle so massive he could fit inside of it. Joe sat up straight, and momentarily forgot his current state. At the same time, he felt his stomach lurch from the sudden movement, and immediately vomited in both a dizzying sickness and out of pure excitement.

“I BLARGH did it BLAAARG!” He yelled in excitement through gags and tears. Somehow, last night, he’d perfected the molecular manipulation process! Standing up on shaky legs, he glanced around him for his lab desk where his notes from the previous night would hopefully be. Hopefully, in his blacked out state he’d managed to take down some form of notes, maybe even recorded some of it on a webcam he kept near his table.

A cool breeze caused him to shiver as he also realized he was butt naked. While not the first time he’d woken up from a blacked out daze in his birthday suit, he certainly hadn’t been expecting it.

“Brrr. Gonna have to stay away from Jack for a bit after this. Drunk science can be… “ He took one look around him and realized his desk was nowhere in sight. In fact, he hadn’t remembered his basement being so… big. It was at that moment that Joe realized he hadn’t caused the bottle of Jack to grow. Looking up, he saw the ceiling and lights way above him. Impossibly far above him. He could also make out the lip of his lab counter and his clothes in a heap to his right. The pile was massive, and almost made Joe wonder how he’d missed it.

“...dangerous.” He finished, coming to the full realization that he’d gone and drunk scienced himself to 5 fucking inches tall.

 

“Well I went and fucked up pretty big, didn’t I?” Joe said to himself out loud, trying to hold himself together while coming to terms with his current situation. By his estimations, he was roughly 5 inches tall, not much larger than an action figure. He was feeling pretty torn at the moment. On one hand, his life’s work now had solid, indisputable proof that it was in fact, possible. No longer was it just a theory, or a small experiment you could only see under a microscope. On the other hand, HE was now the proof, something he wasn’t exactly fond of. And on the other OTHER hand, he still had a monster hangover.

“Ok Joe, don’t panic, you’ve been in worse situations than this... Probably. Come at this logically, what’s the first thing you need to do?” He thought for a few moments before deciding on a plan of action.

“Ok, step one: Take in your surroundings and begin formulating a second step. Right that makes sense. I’ll also start getting some supplies together, anything that I might need to survive… I should also probably try and contact someone so I’m not just sitting here talking to myself like a crazy person.”

All things considered. Joe felt confident he had the situation more or less under control. Which was saying something seeing as Joe was now slightly larger than a bar of soap. Taking a deep breath, he turned around to get a good look around, and came face to face with the eye of an absolutely massive Burmese Python.

 

 

Joe nearly pissed himself in horror as the Manhole sized, terrifying eye of a snake stared him down. At this size, the reptilian monster looked more like a dragon (minus the arms and wings), it’s shiny scales glistening in the basement lab lights, it’s fangs almost as long as he was tall. The head of the Python itself large enough to-

“You did drunk science again, didn’t you?” Said the Python, an annoyed look now evident across its face scaly face. Joe waited for his heart to stop pounding before glaring at the snake.

“For fucks sake Merlin! You scared the shit out of me! Say something next time instead of sneaking up on me like that. God dammit!” Joe shook himself trying to get his blood flow back to normal.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then,” hissed Merlin, as he slithered by Joe and coiled into a neat pile next to him.

“Ok yes, MAYBE I had a little too much to drink last night and blacked out... And then POSSIBLY in my unconscious drunken state, decided to play around in the lab a bit. Speaking of which, please don’t talk so loudly.” Joe pressed his fingers to his temple and rubbed them vigorously, trying to rid himself of his migraine, which was not letting up.

“You know, for a brilliant scientist, you can be a real moron sometimes.” Merlin snorted, and Joe glared at him.

“Yeah well, if it weren’t for me, you and I wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, would we?” Said Joe, making his way over to his pile of clothes. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Oh wow yeah, you never bring that up. You do realize I never asked to be given human-level intelligence? That maybe, just maybe, I was content on remaining an average, simple minded snake living in a terrarium at a small town Zoo?”

“How would you know, seeing as you had no way of conceptualizing your circumstance as a simple minded snake,” said Joe, finally making it to his pair of crumpled of pants. Finding the pocket he was looking for, he climbed in and located what he had been hoping to find.

“Bingo,” he said and grabbed hold of his phone. He pulled as hard as he could, and fell backwards as his hands slipped. There wasn’t any way for him to grip the phone, and it's shear weight and size was making it difficult to move at all.

“Merlin would you mind giving me a h-“ Joe started then stopped, and looked over at Merlin, who glared at him.

“Were you going to say ha-“

“Just go get Kat please!” Joe spluttered.

Merlin slithered through the door leading to the upstairs and made his way through the house. It wasn’t long until he came across Kat in the living room. She was perched on the windowsill, snoozing and warming herself in the morning sun light.

“Hey Kat, rise and shine. Dip shits awake,” he said. Kat didn’t move and Merlin called up again. This time, Kat stirred and turned over, but refused to acknowledge her scaley counterpart’s presence. Sighing, Merlin slithered up to the sill where a vase with flowers stood next to Kat’s resting form. With a quick flick of his tail, the base toppled over and poured its contents all over the black sunbathing Cat. Shrieking in rage, Kat jumped up.

“Gah! What the fuck Merlin?! I literally just spent the last hour licking myself clean, now I have to do it all over again!” Kat shook her now soaking wet fur to try and get as much of the water off herself as she could. Merlin smirked but ignored her outburst.

“Didn’t you hear me? Joe’s awake.”

“Yeah I heard you just fine.”

“Well then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t know, probably because I don’t give a shit? Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to REGROOM myself before getting back to my morning nap.” Kat started licking her fur in an attempt to get rid of the excess water.

“Do it later, Joe needs our help,” Merlin said, making his way back to the floor and towards the lab.

“Help? Since when does Joe need OUR help?”

“Oh... Oh I see,” Kat said, staring down at her now 5 inch master. Joe looked up at Kat, doing his best to hide his growing unease at his now colossal house cat.

“Hope I wasn’t interrupting anything important,” said Joe, attempting to regain control of the situation. While he was indeed the owner of his talking snake and cat, at this height, there wasn’t much stopping them from doing pretty much whatever they wanted to him. He only hoped that they still realized that they needed him for things like food and water. He was also the reason they had a place to live in the first place.

Kat Glared at the tiny human, then sighed and shook her head.

“Just my morning nap. I can always reschedule it until later. Seems like you need my help right now,” she said. Joe inwardly sighed in relief.

“You’d be right in assuming that. I’m trying to get ahold of Kate, but I’m not exactly able to get my phone from my pocket. Would you-“

“On it,” said Kat, turning towards her masters crumpled up pants. Using her paws, she fiddled with the pocket until the phone slid out, screen facing up.

“Ah perfect! Thank you Kat,” said Joe, making his way over to his now massive cell phone. Kat purred with pride, now taking a seated position as she watched Joe go about his plan.

“Alright, let’s see if Kate is available,” he said. Using his hands, he slid the phones lock button sideways, unlocking the screen. He has several text messages and a few missed calls from Kate.

At least she was worried about me. That might mean she’ll pick up! he thought, and pressed the call back number. He waited for the phone to start dialing her number, when the phone suddenly went dark. Before he could say anything, the words “low battery” lit the screen before going back to black.

“Oh you have to be shitting me,” said Joe, falling on his back in frustration. Merlin and Kat stifled laughs and Joe shot daggers at them with his eyes.

“Would you both shut the hell up and help me find a fucking phone charger please?”

Kate pulled into Joe’s driveway and opened her car door. She stood in the driveway and stared up at her Boss’s house. She was a 23 year old grad student at a nearby university who was studying chemical engineering. She was about 5’ 5”, with straight black hair that fell down to her shoulders. Normally she came a little more dressed to impress, but today was her day off. Instead she was sporting sneakers, skin tight jeans, and a faded Star Wars shirt.

Her last try calling Joe sent her straight to voicemail, which prompted her to drive straight over. While she hadn’t been part of yesterday’s meeting, she was informed shortly after that Joe’s funding had been terminated, thus throwing her job into jeopardy. And being that she was a grad student who was relying on this job for money, she was pretty concerned. Oh, and the fact that Joe had a known alcohol problem and did not handle bad news well, at all, played a small roll in her overall concern too. Making her way up his front steps, she knocked on his front door. After waiting a few minutes, she sighed and began searching for the spare key she’d be given for emergency purposes.

“Pretty sure this constitutes an emergency,” she said to herself as she unlocked the door.



“I’m pretty sure that’s an S…” Joe said, tilting his head and squinting at his notes from the previous night. Merlin squinted at the squiggles as well and shook his head.

“No that’s a Z. See if you look at it upside down, it’s corners make it look like it’s a Z and not an S,” he said, using his tail to flip the page upside down.

“Well it doesn’t really matter seeing as NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY GODDAMN SENSE!” Joe screamed, tearing at his hair in rage. It had been 15 minutes since he finally had a chance to look at his notes and they’d gotten him absolutely no where. He eyed his phone over to his left, but it still hadn’t gained enough of a charge to turn on.

“Well don’t get mad at us, you’re the one who thought ‘tongue tastes funny’ was an absolutely important note,” said Merlin, referring to a few scribbles on the bottom of one of the pages. Kat sat by and watched Joe and Merlin bicker and argue over Joe’s drunken ramblings. Finally, as the amusement of the situation came to an end, she hopped off the table, landing on her feet on the floor below.

“Where are you headed?” Merlin asked, noticing the black cats sudden departure as Joe continued to study his scribbles.

“The bedroom. There’s a patch of sunlight with my name on it. Care to join?” She asked, eyeing Merlin curiously. The snake turned towards his master to see him engrossed in his work. Sighing he slid down the side of the table.

“Might as well get some sun seeing as Joe’s in denial over his notes being of any help. Plus I have been feeling a bit sluggish this morning. Might be a good idea to get this cold blooded body some heat.” He followed Kat up the stairs and the two animals excited the lab.



Kate walked through the front door and into the silent house. Joe was nowhere to be seen, and Kat and Merlin seemed to have disappeared as well. Making her way through the house, Kate headed to the basement lab, which had its door wide open.

“Must have been why he didn’t hear me knocking,” she said, making her way down the stairs.


Joe was staring intently at what could have been either a sloppy diagram or a whiskey stain when he head a bing sound come from his phone. He looked over to see that his phone finally had enough of a charge to turn back on.

“Fucking finally!” He exclaimed, and rushed over to his phone. Earlier, with the help of Kat and Merlin, they’d managed to prop the phone up on its side to allow Joe the easiest access to the device. He was about to start making a call when he heard loud footfalls coming from behind him. He turned to see the colossal form of Kate walk down the stairs and into his basement lab.


Kate immediate felt a wave of worry wash over her as she saw the state of the basement. Her worry soon turned to anger, though, as she sighed and placed her face in her hands. It was pretty obvious from the strewn about clothes, messy counter, and overall trashed lab that Joe had been doing experiments while wasted the night prior.

“You have to be fucking- again?! He did drunk science again! Unbelievable!” She stormed over to the main area and started picking things up.


“Kate! KATE! Over here! I’M ON THE TABLE! KATE!” Joe screamed at the top of his lungs as Kate mumbles to herself and began straightening out the lab.

“KATE Stop talking to yourself and come over here! FUCK she can’t hear me!” Joe stomped in anger. He was about to try and give her a call, when Kate was suddenly right at the counter. Joe’s breath caught in his throat for a moment as he stared up at his now massive lab assistant. He tried to speak but found himself silent from the shock of realizing just how tiny he was.

“Kate… I’m right… here…” Joe barely managed to get out as Kate continued to organize and rant.”

“And here I am cleaning up after his mess after yet ANOTHER drunken night of fucking around in his lab. When will he learn?!” She said, and Joe snapped out of it. Here was Kate right in front of him, and in her angry organizing, she failed to notice the 5 inch tall Joe standing on the counter no more than a foot from her.

“Kate! Down here!” He screamed, but it was no use. She was talking to herself too loudly to be heard. And amongst the incredibly messy counter, he blended in like a ginger in a tree during autumn. Joe looked around and tried to think up a plan. Kate was too lost in thought to hear him, and he was too small to do much of anything about that. Seeing him was proving to be too difficult, and Merlin and Kat were nowhere near him to offer their help.. There had to be another way to get Kate to notice him! He thought of calling her on his phone, but one look at her told him that she definitely didn’t have a phone on her. So calling her was out. If only he could get somewhere that she was most definitely going to hear him…

The idea popped into his head almost immediately, but he shook away the thought.

“Yeah no that’s… that’s not what I’m going to do,”
He told himself. He continued thinking something up, but looked to see Kate loving away from the counter. Thinking fast, Joe sighed and began running towards Kate’s retreating forearm. If he was going to get her attention, he had to go to the one place she would have no choice but to hear his calls for help.

Kate continued to murmur to herself as she straightened up Joe’s desk area, moving aside various papers, cleaning up used and broken test tubes, collecting loose wires, and organizing random circuit boards. She glanced at some papers, then took a moment to get a better look. Utter nonsense was scribbled all over them. She turned the notes upside down, trying to figure out if one of the symbols was either an S or a Z.

“What the hell was he doing last night anyways? This place is trashed,” she said. Kate sighed and placed the papers back onto the lab counter. She then walked away, searching for a plastic trash bag to get rid of the mess.



“Shit shit shit shit fuck shit!” Joe swore in frustration as Kate’s arm moved away from him faster than he had expected. He was running at full speed now, and was starting to run out of steam. He pumped his legs and arms and continued running, but her arm was still out of reach.

“So fucking close!” He shouted. In a last ditch effort, he leaped into the air, and was surprised to find himself a solid 10 feet off the ground. Well, 10 feet in relation to his current size.

“Well this is new,” he said out loud, as he flew through the air at an unexpected height. Kate’s arm suddenly rose up to meet him as she moved one last paper aside before leaving the table. In a desperate attempt, Joe reached out and caught the sleeve of her shirt, holding on for dear life as she lowered her arm back to her side.

“Rock climbing lessons don’t fail me now!” Joe said through gritted teeth as he did his best to hold on for dear life. Once her arm came to a relative stop, he took a deep breath and started climbing. Thankfully, Kate’s shirt was tight against her arm, allowing Joe to gain handholds and footholds in between the threads of her shirt. His fingers fit neatly between the crossed threads, giving him plenty of places to grab on. It was actually somewhat easier than rock climbing… if he didn’t think about the insanely long fall coupled with the unforgiving cement floor below him.

“Don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t FUCKING look down,” he chanted to himself as he continued his treacherous climb. He climbed for what felt like forever, but in reality could only have been a few minutes. All the while, Kate continued to move about the room, which didn’t help Joe’s efforts at all. A few times he had to stop just to hold on as Kate’s arm moved about suddenly. Once it came to a relative stop, he resumed his ascent.

“I swear to god this reminds me of some video game I played once. What was it? Shadow of th- whoa!” Joe felt his world jolt unexpectedly as Kate’s arm suddenly flew up to her face in one quick motion. By now, he was just past her elbow and making his way towards her shoulder. Joe glanced up to see Kate adjusting her glasses. In doing so, Kate’s bicep was now horizontal instead of vertical. This gave Joe the opportunity, while short, to make a run for her shoulder. With a quickness that shocked even him, Joe was on his feet and making a mad dash for her shoulder. Just as he was about to reach his destination, Kates arm swung back down. Joe, desperately hoping his insane leap earlier wasn’t a fluke, leapt forward. Just as before, he sailed through the air with surprising distance. He sailed right over her shoulder and almost past her completely. Flailing about wildly, he managed to grab onto a few strands of Kate’s hair, allowing himself to stop from falling to the floor below him.

“If I weren’t so terrified right now this might just be the most fun I’ve ever had!” Joe laughed nervously to himself.



Kate adjusted her glasses casually before grabbing a barrel near the back of Joe’s basement. Looking around she quickly located a box of trash bags. Opening the box, she grabbed one and proceeded to whip it open.



Joe hung on as he felt Kate’s hair sway back and forth. He looked up to see Kate’s ear hidden behind a curtain of black hair. Joe began shimmying up the rope like hair, inching his way up slowly. While he wasn’t making the same time he was when he’d been climbing up her arm, this was arguably easier. He was closing in on his destination, when there was a sudden jolt, and a loud snap. Kate’s whole body seem to shake as her arms flailed. Joe, not expecting this sudden jolt, felt his grip loosen as he flew off the few strands of hair he’d been using as a climbing rope. He tried to grab onto one of Kate’s stray hair strands as he flew forward, but his fingers, already cramped from all the climbing, failed to respond. Joe tumbled downwards onto Kate’s shoulder, where he bounced off like a rubber ball. His trajectory kept him moving towards the front of Kate’s body, and he soon found himself sliding across her skin. Everything was tilted at about a 60 degree angle, and was enough to keep him sliding downward. With no clothing around him and nowhere to grab, he had no choice but to attempt to stay on course towards wherever he was headed. Joe turned to allow himself to slide on his read end, and looked straight into Kate’s cavernous cleavage.

“Oh no no no no no! Kate! KATE FOR GOD'S SAKE HEAR ME!”

Kate had always been well endowed when it came to her chest, something Joe was well aware of. But the sight of her massive breasts about to swallow him up was something he wasn’t sure he was either terrified of or turned on. Giving the current situation, he was in some sort of… scare-roused state. Either way, he was about to get up close and personal with Kate's’ breasts, whether he liked it or not.

 

“So how long do you think it’ll be before Joe learns that the “patch of sunlight” you always refer to isn’t a patch of sunlight?” said Merlin, taking a drag from the joint he was holding. His tail coiled around the small rolled up piece of paper, and he held his breath for a few seconds, before slowly exhaling out a cloud of smoke. He coughed a bit, then leaned back in his chair. Kat shrugged and continued staring at an apparently really interesting dot on the ceiling.

“Fuck, I don’t know, and I don’t care,” she said, looking around the room. Next to her sat a small ziplock bag of catnip and a few loose papers.

The two were in a guest room that Joe had converted into a hang out/bedroom space for the two of them. They had the window open and were using it to keep the smoke out of the room. Kat lay on a dresser next to the windowsill, and Merlin was coiled up in a chair next to it. He has his tail out the window where he held his joint. Kat looked at Merlin for a second, then narrowed her eyes.

“Wait, you’re a snake. How are you getting high off my catnip?” Merlin took another drag before answering.

“For the last time, this isn’t your catnip. You’ve asked me that four times now. This is weed.”

“Oh yeah, hehe… Hey wait, where does a snake get weed?”

“Where does anyone get weed? I have a dealer. Terry is the shit, doesn’t even care I’m a talking snake.” Merlin laughed.

“Come to think of it, every time I see him the dudes out straight. Wouldn’t surprise me if he thought I was a hallucination or something.”

“Have you ever wondered how our paws are just, like, tiny extensions of our arms?” Kat said, staring up at her paws and wiggling her toes.

“Kat I’m a snake. I don’t have-,” he started, then saw two pairs of paws in front of his face.

“Holy shit Terry, what did you give me?” Merlin saw the paws move, and just stared in awe. Kat giggled, then looked at Merlin.

“Hey, you’re a snake. How do you get high off my-“ Kat was suddenly cut off by an ear splitting scream that came from the basement. Kat screeched and jumped into the air, and Merlin dropped his joint. Unfortunately for him, his tail had been stuck outside the window at that time, and it fell to the ground outside.

“Nooo, not my Purple Jesus! Dammit, what the hell was that?” He said, turning towards the door.

“Kinda sounded like Kate… do you think she found Joe?” They were answered by another scream.

“Weeeee should probably go check on them,” said Merlin, and Kat nodded. As the two headed out the door, Kat looked at Merlin again.

“Hey, how do you get high in the first place? You’re a snake.”

“I don’t know, it’s probably to add a b-plot to the story to keep things more interesting for the readers.”

“...Wait, what?”

“What?” Said Merlin, looking at Kat.

“You just… and we… forget it,” Kat said, and kept moving. Merlin paused for a second.

“This weed is some powerful shit,” he said to no one in particular, then caught up to Kat.

Kate had just finished opening the black trash bag and was about to line the barrel with it, when she felt the oddest sensation. It felt as if something was sliding down her chest. She glanced down to see something small and wriggling slide right into her cleavage.

Kate screamed.

“AAAAAAAAHHH!” She dropped the bag and started tearing at her shirt. She felt the small object wriggling around between her boobs, making her scream a second time. She finally managed to get her shirt off, revealing a lacy white bra underneath. She fished around between her breasts, squirming at the thought of a gross bug crawling around on her and finding its way under her shirt. Finally, she felt a tiny lIving form between her fingers and plucked it out. She held it in her fingers for a second before throwing it away from her body.

“Eewww! That is the grossest-“ she stopped as she noticed the tiny figure had grabbed onto her hand and was now coiled around her index finger. It took her mind a second to realize that the tiny figure around her finger, which she’d assumed was a bug, was in fact a tiny person.

 

 

Joe felt two massive walls of flesh close around him as he slid under Kate’s shirt and straight into her cleavage. Seconds after finding himself stuck, Kate let out an ear splitting scream that was not only heard by Joe, but felt as well. It was only due to the giant breasts that engulfed him that he wasn’t rendered deaf by her scream. There was a sudden lurch, and he felt his whole world shake as Kate tried to get her shirt off. The movement from Kate caused him to slide into her cleavage even further, making it more difficult for him to breathe.

“So, this is it. This is how I’m going to die,” Joe said to himself. He continued to struggle for breath as the Kate’s breasts squeezed him over and over again. If she wasn’t moving around so much, Joe thought he might have been able to enjoy his current predicament. But the lack of oxygen he was receiving reminded him that he was probably going to be crushed to death.

“Guess there could have been worse ways to go…”

Finally, just as he was about to pass out, something grabbed him, and he suddenly found himself ripped from the confines of Kate’s cleavage. On pure instinct, he grabbed onto one of the fingers holding him for dear life, as Kate’s hand jerked, attempting to throw him like someone would throw a bug that had been crawling on them. Joe squeezed his eyes shut and continued his hold, his knuckles turning white in the process. His whole body ached, and he felt a spike of adrenaline flow through his body. If he fell now, he would surely die on impact with the floor.Just when he thought he would lose his grip, he felt everything stop moving, then heard a soft voice.

“Joe? Joe is that you?” He opened his eyes to see Kate’s massive eye staring directly at him. He felt his heart skip a beat as Kate’s eye, and the rest of her face for that matter, took up his entirety of his view. It was not unlike looking at a massive Kate themed billboard. He gave her a nervous smile.

“Hey,” he said, adding a small wave, and immediately regretted it. He felt himself start slipping. Trying to grab back on to her finger proved too difficult. His body, Already exhausted from his treacherous climb and being battered by Kate’s breasts, failed to react in time. He only fell a short distance, however, as Kate’s other hand came up from below to catch him. Her palm cushioned his landing, which to him was about a ten foot drip. Her palm was soft, and it felt more like he’d landed on a large bed. Only it was made of flesh and smelled slightly of lavender. He sat there, staring up at his now giantess of a lab assistance, as she continued to stare down at him. Suddenly, a realization dawned on her, and she burst into a smile.

“Oh my god… Oh my GOD! You did it! You actually did it! You shrank something!” Her smile soon faded and turned into a mix of concern and anger.

“Why on earth did you shrink yourself? And why did you climb into m-,” she started, then gasped. She looked down at her exposed chest and her face grew bright red. With her free arm she quickly covered them.

“Kate, please, don’t be mad! I can explain everything… or most everything,” Joe said. Kate looked down at her now pocket sized boss. Then her face grew even redder as she noticed he wasn’t wearing any clothes at all. Her eyes darted up towards the ceiling.

“I’m sure you have a perfectly good explanation for all of this, but can we please get our clothes back on first?!” Kate continued to look up as she addressed him. Joe, remembering himself, threw his hands over his exposed private’s.

“Agreed!”

 

Kate sat at Joe’s kitchen table, staring down at the diminutive man as he recounted his story to her. Or at least the parts he could recall. The previous nights events were still little more than shapes and blurs to him. He himself stood on the table wearing a makeshift towel to cover up his more private areas. He had used a small rubber band and piece of napkin to get the job done. On the other side of the room, sitting on the counter, were Merlin and Kat. Both nervously staring at their master, hoping he couldn’t tell they were baked. From a third parties perspective, the whole scene was rather amusing.

As Joe recounted his story, Kate sat and listened intently, still bewildered by all this. While her initial shock had worn off, she was still coming to terms with the fact that her boss was now no larger than one of her fingers. As he paced back and forth, she couldn’t help but compare him to a small action figure that had come to life.

“And that’s when I slipped, fell into your… shirt, and, well, here we are,” finished Joe, gesturing with his arms to where they now were. Kate nodded, her hands folded neatly under her chin.

“So you really don’t remember anything from last night” She asked. Joe sighed and shook his head, sitting down on the table indian style.

“Unfortunately no. And as you saw, my notes were… less than legible.” Kate nodded. She remembered seeing some papers with crazy writings and drawings on it. At least she knew what they were supposed to be now.

“So what’s it like being so small?” She asked. Joe shrugged.

“Weird mostly. Everything seems so big at five inches tall.” He said. Joe looked up at Kate, who frowned at him.

“What?” he said, frowning in response.

“Well nothing, except...” Kate paused for a second before continuing. “You’re… well you’re not five inches tall. If anything, you’re shorter than that.”

“What really? How tall am I then?”

“My guess is somewhere around 2 inches,” she said.

“Oh,” said Joe, looking down at his body. He really was small.

“So what should we do now?” asked Kate. Joe looked back up at her.

“Well for starters, I need to get my job back. If I want any chance at getting back to my original size, I need to continue my research. And I obviously can’t do that without an extension on my original grant.”