THE FOOT JOB

PART 1

The survivors of the BRIPAC paratrooper brigade volunteer for the mission, sir. - Said Captain Miró.

I knew it. - Thought Lieutenant Eric Bravo. - The old bastard is either too crazy or too brave.

Eric was too professional to voice his concern, but they had just volunteered for the mother of all suicide missions.

General Salamanca seemed pleased and proud to have volunteers from the brigade. He handed an envelope to Captain Miró, saluted and left without a word. Everyone knew what was coming next. Since it became clear they were no match for the Goddess, what little remained of the armed forces was on constant alert so in a few minutes, the whole company was ready and getting briefed in the hangar. A hundred, fully-equipped paratroopers were watching TV screens showing a recording of the Goddess. Eric's head was spinning, they were so unbelievably tiny compared to her.

In the video, taken by the Olympus observers, you could see the Goddess getting dressed and about to leave the room. On the floor by the door there was a pair of flat shoes, underwear, socks and close to all that, a city that looked more like a gray stain. As she passed by it, the Goddess squatted and smiled. She reached out with her hand and flattened most of the city with a finger. The soldiers shuddered at the sight. With that simple gesture tens of thousands of lives were taken.

Then the video was replayed, this time they were told to pay attention to the Goddess' handbag. You could see clearly how her phone fell from the side pocket of the bag when she was destroying the city. The device fell right inside one of the ballerinas of the Goddess and she did not seem to notice.

This is our mission. - Said Captain Miró. - We estimate that we have four hours to hack the phone and contact the outside world for help.

Telecommunications stopped working when the Goddess shrank half the world and put it in her bedroom. This was the opportunity they were waiting for. At least those who had not yet become fanatical followers of the Goddess.

We must not fail. - Continued the captain. - This very morning she sacrificed half a million fanatics for her pleasure.

Everyone had seen the news, rescue shuttles had barely picked up a handful of survivors.

We'll fly in an A400M and jump in the shoe. It will be a HALO jump (High Altitude, Low Opening) of more than 10 kilometers in free fall, once we get to the phone we'll have to connect one of these devices and contact HQ so the tech guys can get to work. Said Miró showing a device the size of a car radio.

They all knew it was suicide, they were going to jump over a kilometers tall ballerina shoe to tinker with the phone of the Goddess. Everyone was afraid, but nobody said anything.

Any questions? Good, let's move!

The flight was done in complete radio silence to prevent any sabotage attempts by the fanatics. The paratroopers were nervous but they did not show it. They knew that escaping the shoe would be nearly impossible even if their mission was successful but what bothered them was getting caught by the Goddess, she had a special talent for cruelty.

They could all hear Captain Miró's voice inside their helmets.

"20 minutes"
"10 minutes, activate GPS"
"5 minutes, get ready"
Then he said: "God creator, you are in the air, embrace us, heal our wounds and pick up our soul"

Amen They all said

The hundred paratroopers were positioned, they were equipped with altimeter, GPS, G36 rifle, USP 9mm pistol, oxygen tank and nearly thirty kilos of survival gear in the backpack. None of that would make a difference but it was their duty to be prepared for anything.

We are only missing a screw. - Thought Eric.

The tailgate of the A400M opened and a red signal started blinking on the side of the door.

Three

Two

One

And they jumped.

The sight was breathtaking, it was like a map but seeing the ruins of flattened cities inside footprints was just crazy. The hundred soldiers fell, directing their fall toward the shoe that had the giant phone inside.

Some turned their heads and watched as the transport plane turned around and returned to base. They were alone.

The ballerina shoe was close. They were almost over the edge and still in free fall toward the phone. Then the moment they opened their parachutes. The Goddess opened the door.

THE FOOT JOB

PART 2

The captain broke radio silence.

Platoons five, six, seven and eight, abort landing, go to the walls of the shoe, I want an eye on Aphrodite, you are our scouts. Lieutenant Bravo, I leave you in charge.

Said and done, Eric and forty soldiers maneuvered in the air and landed on the edge of the shoe, a second later and it would have been impossible.

The rest, move as if you were in a hurry, lose the parachutes when you reach the surface. We have to be faster than her.

The remaining six platoons landed on the blackened soles. The floor vibrated because of the footsteps of the Goddess. Eric's scouts anchored themselves to the "thin" edge of the ballerina shoe and used harnesses for support. Eric and his soldiers took out their binoculars and began to report every move of the colossal woman.

Aphrodite is looking at the nightstand, Captain.

They still had some time. Squads that reached the surface of the sole cut off their parachutes and dropped nonessential equipment.

Oh my god, you don't wanna take off the oxygen mask. - Said a voice over the radio.
Rodri, shut up. - responded another voice.
Well, I like it, it is a feminine smell. Go on, take a whiff. -
If you get a hard on now, Julian, I swear I'll cut your dick off. - The threat sounded serious.
Silence, move. - Barked Captain Miró

They were divided by platoons and sprinted towards the phone. The landing was very good but the phone was nearly a kilometer away and they did not know how long they had. Eric could see the scene from his elevated position. When the paratroopers on the sole were a few hundred meters away, the world shook again, the scouts and Eric looked at the Goddess and their hearts sank.

Lt Bravo here, Aphrodite moves, I think she has seen the phone. - Eric could not hide the nervousness in his voice.

Run. - The captain went head holding the device that had to be adhered to the phone.

Oh God. -

A shadow covered the shoe, inside it no one stopped, some prayed aloud, others gasped and ran knowing that their life depended on it. Seconds felt like hours, meters felt like kilometers Miró's group reached the phone the very instant that the Goddess' city sized fingers touched it. But the phone did not move, the hand didn't rise again and instantly the soldiers knew why.

WELL, WELL... PLAYING IN MY SHOES?

All vibrated with her voice, the very water from their bodies seemed to boil with the mere sound of her words. It was hard not to believe she was really a goddess. Miró didn't waste those precious seconds and continued to work on the phone until the hand of the giantess lifted the device and took it along with the captain and some of his men.

YOU ARE RIGHT, THESE SHOES ARE BETTER. I'M GOING TO PUT THEM ON.

Eric could not see their faces but he imagined the scene, Miró was probably clinging to the phone with God knows how many of his men but the rest dispersed all over the sole desperately seeking a crack or a fold to take cover from what was coming to them.

Scouts! Get off the edge of the shoe, now! - ordered Eric.

His team reacted instantly, readied their harnesses and rappelled down the outside trying to hold on to the smooth surface of the shoe. At that moment the foot of the Goddess rose and entered the ballerina slowly, she seemed to be enjoying the moment. The radio broadcast several short messages from the soldiers trapped inside.

Run! -
We're screwed. -
Get down! Hide in the cra...! - the radio fell silent when the foot made contact with the sole with a deafening BOOM!

THESE BALLET FLATS MAKE MY FEET REALLY SWEATY, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND

The Goddess giggled and started walking. Hanging for dear life on the outside of her left shoe, Lt. Eric Bravo and his men were both amazed and happy to be alive.

THE FOOT JOB

PART 3

Captain, this is Lieutenant Bravo, do you copy? - Eric was about to give up trying to contact any survivors from the phone or the sole when suddenly he got an answer
We copy .. you ... nt, here Miró -
Captain! What is your situation? -
Bra ... will ... device ... freefall three surviv... use pa ... falls ... gency. -

Eric could not look at the GPS being hung from the outside of the shoe but he knew the captain and the other two survivors were out of the mission and that he was in command.

Captain, did you manage to install the device? - Eric asked with little hope.
Affir ... tive, but no time ... we saw ... try it. Inf ... - The rest was static.

The four surviving platoons were having a hard time trying to stay attached to the shoe and compensating the forces caused by the rhythmic steps of the Goddess. Eric had to think fast.

Achilles base, this is Lieutenant Bravo. Do you copy Achilles? - Eric crossed his fingers hoping that they were still within radio range of the base.

This is Achilles base. Report, Lieutenant. - answered a woman's voice.

Captain Miró and other survivors have jumped with emergency parachutes somewhere between us and you, they need evac. Four surviving platoons, we hung outside the right shoe, we believe that the device has been installed, tell the techies they got green light. Try it. -

Received, Lieutenant Bravo. Hold on. -

Eric could not help laughing, where could they go?

Test is negative. I repeat, test is negative, Lieutenant, communication with the device is not possible, something failed. -
Dammit. Eric took a deep breath. - Received, we continue with the mission. -

The pace of the steps would have made anyone dizzy but the adrenaline kept the forty soldiers who were clinging to the surface of the gigantic shoe alert and wide-eyed.

Prepare your emergency parachutes, when she stops wait for my signal and jump.

Then the radio crackled and the voice they least expected to hear rang through it as a divine whisper.

GUESS WHO~

The Goddess was speaking on the radio.

To them

The soldiers looked terrified and confused all the time. Eric thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

WHO AM I SPEAKING TO? - The voice sounded genuinely interested in knowing the name of the microscopic being on the other side.
Slowly, Eric moved his hand toward the radio out of a pure sense of duty, pressed the button and spoke.

Lieutenant Bravo. - He said trying to keep his composure.

The Goddess stopped in what looked like the living room and sat on the floor causing a tremor that shook the forty survivors.

YOU ARE THE ONES ON MY SHOE, RIGHT?
Do I really have to answer that? - Bravo said

The Goddess laughed loudly for a few seconds, the world seemed about to break.

I WANT TO HAVE A CLOSER LOOK AT YOU, BRAVE ONE.

All soldiers shivered and looked at the lieutenant, many were expecting the order to jump.

If we jump, we are dead, wait. - Eric told his subordinates.

The Goddess carefully took off the shoe and brought it close to her face. It was an incredible sight. Her eyes were like living planets, staring felt like a sin. The soldiers could feel their souls pierced by her gaze.

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY PHONE BUT I LIKE IT. NOW I CAN DEAL WITH YOU MORE PERSONALLY. DOING THIS TOOK SOME SERIOUS BALLS HUH?

The four platoons gulped almost in unison.

OK, LET'S MAKE A DEAL LIEUTENANT BRAVO. IF YOU MAKE ME LAUGH AGAIN I'LL SPARE YOU.

Suddenly Eric didn't feel funny at all.

Tell her the joke of the monkeys in the clothing store! - Said one soldier
Shut up, she'll kill us for sure if he tells her that one! - Answered another
Sing a song or something! -
No! she wants to laugh you idiot! -
Silence! - Eric said as he picked up the radio and breathed deeply.

You have feet to die for. - He said.

BAR TALES

And then, Ricardo wet his pants a second time. - Jonas always joked like that with Ricardo

Shut up. - Ricardo said half annoyed and half amused by the way his friend was telling their story.

Keep telling the story! - Lucía said before taking a swig of rum She was beautiful redheaded helicopter pilot in Achilles base.

Then Lt. Eric "Toro" Bravo said, "You have feet to die for" Jonas knew how to tell stories

No way, and what happened then? - said Beatriz, a blonde sniper with tattoos. She was a little tipsy because of the liquor.

She laughed and let us go, we jumped using the emergency parachutes. She blew a kiss to the lieutenant and said "call me".
You gotta be fucking kidding me. - Both girls said in unison.

Hey yo Rick, pass me a salt shaker. -

The paratrooper Ricardo Jaen grabbed a salt shaker from the table next to theirs.

Here you are. -

Jonas Ortigueira, also a paratrooper sprinkled some salt on the table and made sure he had the attention of the two beautiful women they were entertaining with the story of their adventure. He separated a tiny salt crystal put it between the shot glasses of the women.

At the scale of the Goddess, our group, four platoons of battle-hardened paratroopers hanging from the shoe of a woman over a hundred kilometers tall, holding the weight of our humongous guns... we were as small as this salt crystal. - He said pointing at it.

Everyone looked at the salt crystal for a few seconds until Beatriz laughed. licked her finger slowly and looking at Jonas' eyes touched the diminutive grain of salt, and brought it to her mouth.
Mmmmmmm. - she said. - You taste good.

Ay Ricardo! - Jonah said pretending to faint. - She ate us!
The four laughed and went to get more rum.


It was good to be alive.


Many kilometers away (at the tiny people's scale) Lt. Eric Bravo was thinking the same but his situation was a bit more complex.

He was the grain of salt

The fact that I could die at any moment is what makes me appreciate the small things. - He said

HAVE YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT LIKE THAT OR IS IT BECAUSE I COULD CRUSH YOU WITH A FINGER?

Eric and the Goddess were having a fairly normal conversation, except for the fact that one of the participants was the size of a mite and was sitting on a two-euro coin that could have been the largest bullring in the world. The Goddess was in bed talking to him over the phone. She held a glass of rum the size of a city. The coin was there so she would know where Bravo was. The lieutenant was drinking rum too, courtesy of the Goddess who had dipped an ear swab in the liquor and had left it on the coin so that her guest could help himself to a drink.

Right now you could kill me in so many ways that it's not worth thinking about. The illusion of control over my destiny disappears when you talk and your voice makes my whole body vibrate. But it really is always like that, for everyone, even for you.

OH REALLY?

Yup, you have power over me, absolute power you could say, right? -

I DO
Even over my mind! I can not stop thinking about you. - It was a good rum. -
The Goddess chuckled, she was also a little tipsy.

But you're a person like me. You have no real control over your destiny.

NOT BAD, LT BRAVO.

Call me Eric, please. I won't be a lieutenant anymore when I return to the base. They are going to chew me when they find out what I'm doing! -

THAT'S ONLY IF I LET YOU GO BACK

True, but if you don't let me go I'll start telling you jokes until you either eat me or die of laughter.

DON'T GIVE ME IDEAS, LITTLE MAN.