I had awoken in a strange dark place, I
couldn't really place where I was. I had settled in for a night at
home and then trotted off to bed. I had been exhausted and wanted an
early night, it wasn't like me as I was a bit of a night owl but
after a week of work and barely able to keep my eyes open collapsing
at around 7pm or 8pm. Now back awake my bed or any of my regular
surroundings wasn't present, I was naked and cold standing in the
darkness trying to figure things out. Squinting I could make out some
of my directions, where I stood seemed stretch out for a bit but then
the darkness prevented me from seeing more. I could feel a cold
firmness underneath my feet, I bent down to inspect the ground under
my feet. It had felt off when I got up, my body indicating quickly
that this hard rock I woken up on was foreign. Having that closer
look I couldn't tell from the dark but I swore I could see my own
reflection, my mind probably going wild imaging things in the dark.
What strange dream was this? I wasn't
convinced it was real and that I must be asleep at home still. Yet
the sensation of touch felt very real. Not convinced completely I
decided to walk around a bit, testing myself to see if this was my
mind or not. As I walked I felt my naked skin slightly stick with
each footstep, a feeling I was sure I could not depict with realistic
certainty. I also felt over time the gradual feeling of going down
hill, I had thought it was a straight and endless path but that
didn't feel like the case any more. I had thought there was an end to
this long road I was on, yet the dark seemed to stretch on beyond
that. It still felt surreal enough to be a dream, yet I doubted my
minds ability to construct such sensations and feelings so
accurately.
I pondered on the dream thought for a
bit longer, if this was a dream I was aware of it. I had dreamt
lucidly before on rare occasions and now realising this I tried
thinking of other things... but nothing, I couldn't change anything.
I couldn't make the dark vanish, if this was a dream it was one I was
trapped in unable to change.
I felt like I had walked for a while,
but soon the drop became a lot deeper for me to navigate so I
stopped. I rested feeling exhausted more so now than when I had gone
to bed. This felt real.
Sitting down to catch my breath I paid
more attention to the ground I sat on, I noticed a slight vibrations
in the surface. I lay to one side trying to listen or feel for some
more... I could feel it or something. My instincts told me something
distant creating these vibrations.
'Had I not noticed it before?' No I
told myself, I would have surely felt it under my feet, this was new.
The vibrations they appeared to be growing stronger, more powerful. I
could feel the tremors pick up. Soon it felt like not just where I
sat but the whole world was shaking. I could hear now powerful
clicks, I couldn't quite describe the sound but it became like
roaring thunder with each click getting closer and closer. The noise
no longer distant sounded right on top of me and when I thought I
couldn't handle it getting any closer, it stopped.
Outside a different kind of click was
heard, like a lock coming undone. Yet so loud and close. I knew the
noise but it sounded so different, hard to put into words. There was
no chance to even process or ponder the sounds as I was suddenly
blinded by light. I instinctively raised my hands to shield my eyes
from the sudden light, having been in the dark so long. Slowly my
eyes adjusted and lowering my arms I could finally look around. Beige
walls stretched up in every direction, I didn't understand. I looked
down at where I had been sitting the whole time, I was on some sort
of gem reflective and pretty I could see myself properly now in it's
reflection. My eyes scanned down the slope I was sitting near,
further down a gold ring, then the ring had a arch splitting off the
top of it. Through that arch I could see a large chain of gold that
went way out into the distance reaching to the far beige wall then
coming back and looping through the arch again. Finally what seemed
to be at the bottom of this enclosure was just wood, but never had I
seen such a large plain of it... My brain was having a hard time
processing these findings. I was putting two and two together slowly
and it wasn't making any logical sense. Something moved out the
corner of my eye, my eyes naturally drawn to whatever it was.
One of the beige walls I had only just
discovered now had something hanging over it. I only could study it
for a moment before the world violently moved, a deafening scratching
noise could be heard from far under me as I had to hold on with all
my might to not fall forward onto the gold ring. Scared and piecing
it all together I looked again to the spot on the wall. There I saw
it, someone's digit and thumb or a finger hung over the wall. It was
only a glance at something so far away but I was sure it was a thumb.
I was fixated on it, it was so far away and yet so incredibly large.
While I hadn't been so sure the nail protruding from it all but
confirmed in my mind what it was.
Now I took in all my surroundings, now
I looked up and what I was met with was not the sky I expected but
the face of dearest friend. She hung over my space, the beige box I
had been in still seemed to large yet she seemed even larger. In
denial this had to be a dream I told myself... but I could see her,
tiny little details I knew my head could not imagine. Her soft plump
lips met her little nose, her big blue eyes that always stood out to
me stood out even more, pupils large. Then the little things, the
eyelashes, the make up I could see covering her face, the tiny hidden
little wrinkles in her forehead that I normally would never notice in
the early thirty year old woman I could just see. Even the slight
bags under her eyes seemed so detailed to me. I was taking in more of
her than I normally would simply because I was looking at so much
more of her. I had always viewed her as pretty but of course nothing
more, our friendship far more solid than anything else would ever be.
Yet now my 5'1 bestie was the whole world above me, I didn't even
notice until now her blonde hair drooping over as she apparently
leant over. She dwarfed the domain I found myself stuck in, which was
equally as impressive as my spot was still larger than anything I
could previously comprehend, her face alone was just even more beyond
that in scale
I had to shake myself out of my
terrified and curious trance that I had found myself in. Like a
maniac I started jumping about waving and yelling, calling out her
name. Hey eyes zoned in towards me, blue eyes locked on my position.
As I looked at her face and those big blue eyes I didn't feel saved.
She did on occasion need glasses but her eye sight wasn't that bad,
however she was looking right at me. But it felt like she was looking
beyond me, yet through me. These was no change in her face or
emotions which was just a resting face, her eyes shifted away
continuing to scan past the walls of my spot. Her head tilting ever
so slightly to aid in her search as all the attention went away. She
had looked right at me, but she hadn't been looking for me and more
importantly she hadn't seen me.
“Let's try this one” Her voice
suddenly boomed down at me, bouncing off the walls that surrounded me
it was already loud enough. While I had on instinct cowered and
looked away I saw when she had spoke, it provided a small glimpse
into another world...
Her thumb which I had forgotten about
jumped up from it's position, now gazing up again I watched as the
rest of her hand joined the picture I was seeing. It moved across and
over me, briefly eclipsing light on my position. Like I had seen with
her face that had since retracted for the moment, I could make out
every little line with great detail. Light shone down on me once
again as her hand seemed to close in or something in the distance.
Even though I had seen in great detail her hand, it had moved so fast
as well. I saw it for a moment and then it was gone. Remarkable how
enormous it was and yet the speed it could move at. I could hear it
touch down nearby, it rocked my spot as I could hear the different
louder sounds of fingernails dragging across wood, that would be such
a minor sound to her. My curiosity peaked and I watched as her hand
left with something within it's grasp. I could still hear scraping
not far behind it before the object was fully pulled from it's
location. I spotted the dangling chain one of gold for just a moment
before suddenly with a slam I was in darkness again
I stupidly felt as if I should have
pieced it together sooner, my brain was so drawn to the spectacle
happening in front of me now back alone in the dark with nothing but
solitude to reflect in I realised where I was. I sat atop one of her
many necklaces, alone in this section I understood now I was in a
jewellery box, or some sort of box that housed and divided necklaces.
I was sitting in storage with one of them right now. Now the world I
was in made sense but it didn't make it any less intimidating to be a
part of. It was such a minor section I imagined being in, but to me
it was so huge. The whole time I had been in the dark I had been on
item she just stored away for safe keeping. I presumed with the
dragging and her thumb I sat near the end of one side. She had come
and simply picked out one to wear. Was it still early? Was she
heading out somewhere? I did recall the make up covering her face.
Either way a lump had formed in my throat as I realised I was trapped
in here, and she was unaware of my existence. Now I felt scared and
alone, although one of those feelings would not last
I hadn't been paying attention to the
outside world as she softly spoke in the distance, but my attention
quickly turned back to it as the earthquake like shaking of my
surrounds picked up again. This time the lid didn't pop back open,
although she hadn't locked it back up, instead the whole world shot
up, forcing me against the gem I had sat on this whole time. It was
in this moment that I remembered I was on one of her necklaces, I had
been so focused on the confines of the box and her I had forgotten
where I stood. Once the box came to a crashing halt, the lid lifted
open again. I could hear the other jewellery sliding around stop. It
didn't take my eyes to long to adjust this time as I could see her
face peering down again but this time obstructed by something in the
way, her face was a lot further away. I could see blackness and gold
stars trailing all the way up? I was confused only for a little while
before I recalled a dress she had worn prior, the stars a give-away.
The box must have been in her lap, my eyes followed her all the way
up but when I realised it was her bosom that obstructed my view of
her face.
My polite nature kicked in, I turned my
gaze back down. Refusing to look up, although now with the light the
reflection in the gem did not help with looking down either. Pretty
though she was, she was my closest friend. It would always feel wrong
sort of to stare for to long, but more so now as she didn't even know
I was here. There was a difference between admiring and gawking and
this unflattering perspective made me feel like I was gawking even if
I knew I wasn't.
The world shot up again once more, now
I would be forced to look up as the world rushed past. Thankfully
past her chest I could look at her direct in the face again, which
was now really really close as she held the box right up to her face.
She had dumped the other necklace back in it's place or somewhere as
I heard it clang from being unceremoniously dumped. Her eyes looked
with purpose, with a mission. Feeling that she was closer than the
last time I again made an effort to move and yell. Her eyes stopped
and rested on me, this time she smiled. For a fleeting moment my
heart skipped a beat as she looked right at me. But again as I
watched her smile that was ever so brief fade I realised again she
had looked right through me.
“This one” She spoke softly to
herself yet still enough to deafen me. Her hand appeared over once
again, except this time it descended down on my location. I watched
as her pointer finger came down in a hooking motion dragging the
fingernail along the wood and then under the end of the golden chain.
Effortlessly it hoisted the chain over the end of her finger pad and
which then curled back up over it to secure it. Her other fingers and
thumb came in for support for something I was certain I could never
lift. I watched in horror as the finger with chain within it's grasp
slowly took off again, my eyes watched the chain links that followed
go up as well, shocked to see it getting closer and closer to my
position. I knew now I would be going up as well and I hugged the
wall of gem I was on as moving chain met the arch. The violent
scratching and dragging was murder to my ears before being pulled up.
Everything was quiet for a moment as I took off, first it was a
forward thrust and then suddenly up in the air. I clung to where I
was desperately and closed my eyes.
It seemed to come to a brief stop and I
turned my head I was met with the bridge of her nose along with her
piercing blue eyes going cross eyed in their focus. From here I could
see from here the impressions from where she previously wore glasses.
She for a moment seemed focused on me but again it wasn't me she was
looking at. She lifted up the necklace further and I found myself
going even higher than her head. She looked up getting a good glance
at this angle unsure if she was satisfied or not. I couldn't help but
glance into the sea of blonde hair. While so clean looking and
organised, it still looked dense landscape to me. If I ever ended up
in there I might truly never find my way out again. A terrifying
thought. She made a noise of satisfaction that wasn't words and then
lowered me slightly again. Now focused on not looking at her or down
I looked up as her other hand came in and helped part the chain
wider. With a quick swivel I was now facing her as I hugged the gem.
Not that I could see past it, I knew what was coming as I rushed
towards her unsighted but ever present form. It was a long already
made necklace all she had to do was get it over her head. Not that I
could see it as I was fully concentrating on holding on for dear
life, she did it like everything else, with relative ease
The next part for me, I presumed was
the most violent. The back of the gem or any normal person would call
the end of the necklace smashed into her with great force and power.
Once the chain was over her head she let it relax and the necklace
go. It was so simple and carefree for her, yet for me so aggressive
and powerful in it's force. Impact winded me as for a moment my grip
came loose. Reacting fast I secured myself to the top of the gem
again before I could fall. Then it thankfully it all came to a rest
What a whirlwind night this had been,
in a matter of minutes I had somehow ended up on a necklace in the
jewellery box of my beloved friend unknown to her, and now I was on
her. In the real world she stood 5'1, certainly on the smaller side.
Today she was everything to me. As even the necklace I found myself
on, was much bigger than myself. She seemed for the moment pleased or
satisfied as everything came to a stand still. It wouldn't last as
she sprung forward. The momentum wasn't to bad as she walked asides
from when each foot collided with the ground causing a shock
throughout her body that she wouldn't notice but I however would. The
gusts of wind that came with her fast momentum and being so high up
where also unhelpful but thankfully not strong enough to harm me. The
necklace didn't move around to much as she moved forward held in
place against her skin and her forward movement, which meant I for
the meantime was secure. The familiar clicking that had been ever
present when she moved only became apparent to me now that it was her
heels hitting the hard wood below, thousands of miles below.
The world that was her came to a rest
once again as she stopped. I looked up for the first time, it wasn't
anything I shouldn't have expected. The underside of her chin hung
over me, once again demonstrating how out of sight I was to her, all
I had was the underside of her jaw to look at with odd mole or two
around her upper neck. Even those little dark spots seemed a lot
bigger than me. Her head swivelled one way quickly and then back the
other way. Even that had a flow on effect for me as her hair from one
side raked along her chest before retreating and the other side doing
the same, except the latter rested where it was. It fell over me like
a massive blonde curtain. I hugged the gem again as her hair rested
on me, turning the reflection golden as the light now had a gold
tinge to it. I glanced over my shoulder and it was indeed a curtain,
with no view out now. Each strand was different and unique, it was
like a waterfall that didn't move as each strand though unique formed
together in a united display. It baffled me that one strand started
out thousands of meters away to reach me now and just beyond me. I
for the briefest moment was tempted by the idea to reach out and grab
hold a strand, but that was quickly shot down by my mind as stupid as
I stayed frozen hugging the gem. The smell of her shampoo extremely
strong throughout as her hair quietly lay over me for the moment, so
strong was the scent that it gave me a headache that grew stronger
with each inhale. Finally her fingers pulled the curtain back again
allowing me to breath once more. I watched as with ease the ends of
her hair where effortlessly flicked onto or over her shoulder. If I
had jumped ship I could be hanging over her back right now, or safely
on her shoulder. It would have been a risk, the outcome though very
uncertain.
I had to get up more, I couldn't just
hold the side of this jewel forever. I started to make some moves
when I decided to look down for the first time. This was a mistake.
To me there where two floors far below
me. One was so far down it was out of focus for my eyes to make out
anything in great detail that stood at her feet. Not that I could see
her feet as that was taken up by the more immediate floor that
stretched out from under the necklace. A plain of flesh either side
that protruded out, only stopped by the edge of her dress, which like
a dam wall looked to try to contain the flesh from spilling beyond
it's tight confines. My eyes looked around, off to both sides was
more of her dress, strands either side but also draped over with a
see through marital that matched the black starred colour scheme of
the rest of her dress, and eventually met the darker fabric around
the front. I felt ill knowing I now looked at what was the very top
of her breasts, again my polite nature making me feel shame,
deliberate or not I never intended to view her this way or this
close. As my eyes scouted the landscape below with a feeling of shame
and disgust than eventually where drawn to the middle. The two mounds
met in the middle. Never had I seen cleavage from this perspective
before, nor did I want too. Her well endowed breasts met, the sea of
flesh was terrifyingly impressive in their own right, but where they
met was an haunting abyss. To anyone at her height there would appear
to be no gap, and really there wasn't... but there was enough of a
crack where I could easily imagine me or even this whole necklace
slipping below the surface.
I screamed out to her again, glancing
back up there was no response from the wall that was the underside of
her chin. Knowing my situation was in my own hands I continued
climbing up keeping my eyes focused upward.
When I had been walking in the
jewellery box before I had left myself close to the then downward
rounded edge of the gem. Now it had become an upward slope as the
positioning changed. That also meant I was closer to the rounded edge
and could pull myself into an upward climb with more stability. Using
all fours I met the golden ring coming to another stop between a
small gap between it and the gem it housed. Finally I had a look back
out able to turn around and look out at the world properly rather
than constantly facing her. She meantime was facing a mirror,
inspecting herself and her outfit she had selected. Looking at the
mirror felt somewhat normal, I could see a reflection as if I was
standing there, except my reflection was just hers. She must have
been standing a good enough distance away as I could see all of her,
head to toe. That also meant I couldn't see myself and now truly for
the first time did I understand the perspective. It was just her I
saw, my eyes moving along her body before finding the necklace
sitting safely above her bosom. In real height i'd say a 3 to 5cm
away from her breasts started parting, that was still a big distance
for me. But my eyes focused on the necklace, that's all I could see.
I simply could not see myself on it, and to the outside world even
with a second or third glance would not see me either
One of her arms stretched out, her
phone grasped within her what would normally be small and stubby
fingers. I could see everything she was doing allowing me for a small
moment from my viewpoint to feel almost like I was looking from her
perspective. She snapped a picture of herself with her in the mirror.
I did not know if she intended to put it up somewhere but if she did
everyone would be oblivious to the fact she was taking a photo of
two. She brought the phone closer and took a picture of herself,
smiling as she did so, necklace just in frame with the top of her
cleavage. It would be the same story if she put that one up too, even
if it was closer. Happy stuffed that phone down the front of her
dress, with the see through fabric creating a kind of hammock over
the front over the denser stuff that held her breasts in place. I say
in place but the flesh jiggled as phone made contact with the front
of her. I shuddered at the sight. I wondered if in my wildest dreams
I could make it to that location. But then what would I do? I
probably couldn't power on the phone if I tried. I turned my
attention back up.
Her. I needed her to save me. But to do
that she needed to know I existed to start with. For her to save me I
would need to save myself first.
It was becoming apparent while I was
safely nestled here for the time being, she had a big night planned
ahead of her. Whatever that entailed, I didn't want to be part of it.
There where unknown risks coming into play as she started moving
again. I needed her attention before things got worse, and for that I
would have to step out of my comfort zone. I needed to go up to her,
somehow make contact with her. When there finally was a still moment
I began to climb the ring. She was darting around the house so quiet
moments where few and far between, but eventually I passed the ring
and to new ground the arch that housed the chain. I was At the bottom
of the arch that was attached to the ring. Feeling accomplished for
the first time tonight I could finally stand for a moment looking at
the chain, how each link looped into each other. There was a
considerable gap and I would have to scale the arch as well to make
even the start of the chain, which in itself would have it's own
troubles to navigate.
During this time something changed for
a second. I was on the closest side to her skin when her skin started
to drift away. It continued to get further and further as suddenly I
could feel the chain was swinging freely. Looking down I noticed she
was leaning over a key bowl, no doubt searching for a set of keys.
Now for the first time since she had picked up the necklace I felt
exposed out over open air. I glanced back forward at her for comfort
hoping it wasn't that far away. Not only was it far away, the bottom
of the necklace was now eye level with her cleavage, which had ever
so slightly parted. My legs went wobbly as I looked into the dark
void before finally breaking eye contact, It made me sick. Why did I
have to end up in this situation, and worse it be with someone I
cared a lot about. Looking up wasn't much help either but it was
better than the tits of my friend. Looking up was just neck, chain
and hair either side. What I now paid more attention to however was
the strain I could hear as the chain creaked and it's metal moaned
holding up the gem below me. She finished her search and then I
realised I was caught of guard as she straightened up again, the
flesh of her upper chest smashing into my small location like a solid
wall. Having been standing I was dislodged and tumbled forward, her
necklace bounced a moment before hitting me. I clung to it
desperately now wedged against the gem again, but now I was being
crushed under the weight of it as her skin was now behind me.
Why had this happened to me? Every
little thing was an effort to survive. I had faced the challenges of
it all afraid yes, but to the best of my ability. Even in danger I
stuck by polite ways and just general morals, and now I felt I was
being unknowingly punished for having averted my gaze, for doing the
right thing.
While the skin of her upper chest was
firm, it was soft for the weight of the gem to relax into. I could
just feel her heartbeat pulsating underneath her skin. I hadn't
noticed before with each step how the necklace ever so slightly
moved, it didn't move out enough for me to fall but each tremor that
reverberated throughout her body caused a slight bounce. The warmth
from her skin was a bit soothing, but not enough to distract me from
the situation I found myself in. Alarm bells where going off in my
head. I couldn't crawl up and I was at risk of slowly being pulled
down over time if I didn't hold on with everything I had. Even with
my best efforts I was tired, with the weight of the gem slowly
relaxing into me over and over again it left me short of breath. The
gem suddenly shot forward again, unable to grasp the large surface as
it rocketed away from me I was left to fall unabated.
I tumbled as the nightmare continued,
in the short time I realised that she had lent over or was sitting
down in her home. Wine glass was present. She was seriously having a
predrink before going out? Whatever the case it was enough for her
necklace to launch away from her. The wall that had been firmly flat
I fell against, started to round and protrude out as I got further
down. I could see the start, the very top of her cleavage gap before
the wall that came out pressed back in again. I was on one side now,
the very start of her breast forming outward when I saw strands of
hair ahead of me right before things got deeper and the valley that
awaited me. As I kept going I realised that not many hairs made
enough contact with the ground for me to grab onto. I thankfully
found one and clung onto it for dear life. It's end however did seem
to dip into the abyss. I yelled out to her again tears formed in my
eyes as I knew she couldn't hear me. Far above me she titled her head
back and took a last swig of her wine. The hair I was on briefly
along with the rest dragged up her bosom as she tilted her head high
above me
“Time to go” she muttered to
herself standing back up again she got to her feet. For me it all
seemed okay at the start. The strand I was on moved out away from her
slightly, but then once she started moving the momentum created wind
that slammed the hair back against her breaking my grasp and dooming
me to fall now right near the centre of her cleavage. Falling once
again unable to hold on I smashed into the soft flesh. I screamed
looking up as I fell, she ever still so oblivious. The chasm rose all
around me. To the outside there was no gap, but at my size there was
more than enough for me to fall into. I could not stop my decent,
there was no other fate now for me. Flesh either side rose to swallow
me whole. I found myself just stopped enough near the very top,
looking up I could see the light from the outside as well as her chin
and that necklace in the distance. I could see her hair come to rest
again over the top, blocking out some of the light for me
“Help!” I pleaded to no avail.
Holding onto one mound I tried to scale up, but the flesh proved to
be unstable to create proper footholds in. While my view of the
outside was boxed in by the flesh either side of me, I knew salvation
was so close, yet so far. Already I was sweating, the air while still
had some outside supply was somewhat stale. If I could just make it
up far enough one of her hairs dipped in a little that I could maybe
grab it. Eyes firmly focused on that, I saw her far above me. Her
head shifted to look down, she was drawn in looking at her own
breasts. Looking right down the centre I called out for help again
and she looked right at me. Her finger entered the oppressive space
near the top, dragging along and separating the walls of flesh as it
did so. For a moment I allowed myself to imagine her view fishing me
out from this pit of despair. She hadn't come for me. Her finger
entwined with the canopy of hairs at the top, including the one
furtherest down. She pulled them away, high above me with both hands
she playfully patted all her hair behind her shoulders. She had
lifted her head back as she did so to let her hair fall, she then
shifted her gaze back forward. Unaware, cruel and uncaring She had
dangled multiple carrots of salvation in front of me and then without
knowing ruthlessly removed them right in front of me. She simply
didn't care, why would anyone care for a speck they didn't even know
existed. Out of frustration I cursed her and then myself.
Then came the footsteps
Each step, EVER single step had it's
own impact where I was. The first one caused the breast I clung to,
to shake violently, smashing me into the other one. Once the other
footstep, the process repeated itself except now the other breast
collided into me. All so quick and fast no one outside would even
notice. With each collision, it started to pull me down. Step by
agonising step. I was getting pounded from each side by tones of fat
and mass, and it was getting more powerful the more I slipped down.
As each breast smacked into each other, so did the gap widen a little
and then close, creating a just audible clap over and over again.
Finally the last rays of light vanished
as I continued my unavoidable decent downwards. No Small gap formed
now deep within her cleavage, no layer of fat could separate far
enough for it to come out and then smash into me. I was in place,
held as each step shook my prison. Power and force could still be
felt coming from both sides, pressure mounting on my form as far
above her boobs simply jiggled as she walked. Each jiggle was tones
of weight coming at me from all angles. I was so deep within her tits
that all hope had vanished. There would be no help, no rescue and no
one would know what had happened to me.
Air was essentially gone, nothing fresh
got in. If I wasn't fighting to breath, I would have noticed the
unbearable heat, the beating of her heart pounding my ears. Laughter
and talking I could just make out coming from her although severely
muffled through layers of flesh. If I did not die of suffocation,
eventually the pressure of her breasts impacting would finally crush
me, when enough force came from them. Even if I survived all that, a
bead of sweat which was likely of forming could eve drown me
Starved of air, and unable the shed
more tears I my vision began to weaken. Not that I could see anything
in this hellish confined mess of mass. As I drifted off for what I
knew would probably be my last time. I knew my fate, to me would be
unknown. suffocation, the pressure crushing me or even drowned. I
would not know as these where my last thoughts.
She would never know too