Date: June 30 2008 7:30 PM Title: Chapter 1
Excellent work, however it seems like it's missing narrative between chapter 1 and 2. Still, enjoyable as all get-out.
I actually did that intentionally as the reader isn't suppose to know about the trials and tribulations he went through over that course of time. You actually learn more about them in second story that i'm writing, however I'm finishing up a few other projects while writing it so i'm unsure when it will be completed.
However, i did go back and add a little bit more of a transition. I orginally had a much longer transition that i felt told a bit too much and lead the reader by the hand a little a bit too much.
Anyway, glad you enjoyed it nonetheless.