Date: June 10 2009 4:20 PM Title: Finding Brittany
I like how you continue to get a lot of characters involved in the story. Not only that, but each of them has their own niche which demands special attention from the reader. This helps to suck the reader in whilst still allowing the story to progress at break neck speeds. Very well done.
That was pretty slick how Bobby took advantage of Candy being in conversation. That must have been pretty frustrating for her, knowing that her little toy was escaping but not being able to do anything about it. Great scene.
Megan surprised me in the last chapter with her offer to help, then surprised me again with her general behavior in this one. Now, nothing she does will surprise me, as I've labeled her an A1 nut job. In any case, I'm hoping to see more from her, if for no other reason than to figure out what's up with her.
It's good to see Bobby and Brittany reunited. I also like how it's guilt, rather than love that makes her so determined to help him. He's had a crush on her all this time, and she doesn't even know his number. It's nice to see you stay with your initial premise, seeing as how she hasn't really had that much time to get to know him.
I do believe this is the first chapter in the story not to leave us on a desperate cliff hanger. You're losing your edge.
[Report This]Date: June 09 2009 8:20 PM Title: Finding Brittany
I'm very glad Brittany and Bobby were re-united. For one thing, there's no way Kathy could have absconded with him, with her softball uniform being so skin-tight. And, more importantly? Megan's temperamental determination to help Bobby w/o re-uniting him and Brittany could indicate that SHE'S THE ONE WHO GAVE GLEN THE SHRINK RAY.
"As I've told you before, Watson. Once you eliminate the possible, whatever remains--however improbable--must be THE TRUTH!"