Reviewer: Shaker Signed [Report This]
Date: May 30 2020 12:54 AM Title: Getting Rest

Hello! I instantly warn that thic will be a long one, but I think this is already visible.

Generally, great story. I love fantasy, especially D&D like party scenarios. The idea behind this story is brilliant. Being unwillingly bonded with pact which gives tormentor absolute power over you is truly nightmarish scenario. I really like Kirinhalut's ideas for utilizing this power :) So since chapter one I was thrilled while reading this stoey. I know that it may be not really popular because of fantasy theme, but it still could improve over time so don't give up ur rush this one. I like the rescure party and different personalities of giantesses there and their relations.

I'm really thrilled to see what Kirinhaluthad planned for tiny, but I hope especially for one thing: more shrinking. Our protagonist is already very small but from present one inch, that is 2.5 cm, he could shrink to something like 0.5 cm (0.2 inch). Being over four times smaller would mean:
- that Bush will become gargantuan giantess, shaking ground with her steps from our hero perspective and able to mistakenly step on him
- communication with the rest of party will become definetly more hard. He will be much easier to not be seen, so even without Kirinhaluthad  actions he will be at larger risk of different dangerous unaware scenarios. At a closer look he still will be visible and recognizable, but his speech will be unheard. So either some kind of magic will be used by Sora for communication or Bush will have to act as intermediary.
- if already steps taken by giantesses were lound and earth-shaking, after becoming over 60 times their previous weight from our hero perspective, each step will be now tremendous explosion of earthquake, creating dangerous shockwaves of wind and dust and shrapnel. I'm especially looking at careless elf, who could enfulge hero in disastrous eartquake, or maybe elf-quakes is a better therm? She could just place her foot next to ouer hero and by frantic taping of big toe alone shake ground for our tiny hero. Though I'm not really looking for scenario wih our hero being trapped in shoe: it's a really popular theme recently in different stories.  Also their speech will be very defeaning to our hero, hell, their breaths could form from enough distance disastrous winds.

But that above is just my theory. Generally I would love to see:
- this story going long, it has great potential for many different scenarios and aventures hapenning to our party of giantesses. They could ecounter insect swarm, evil witch, evil real giantess, dragon, all sorts of dangerous encounter scenarios very dangerous for our tiny hero. Relations between characters could develop in intereting ways, maybe elf could change her mind about tiny? Or we could know why she is so reluctant toward him ,even if burden of taking care of him is so little to party.
- I'm cheering for happy ending. I feel that you might have something totally different planned for our hero, but I would just be happy to see happy ending for him after all this torment and dangerous situations. Maybe not happy ending like returing to normal size, but maybe gaining some useful abilities and becoming proper memeber of party? I know this might sound absurd but if he could ragain not size but just strength of original size, he could really be useful. Or maybe Sora could turn him into her familiar, granting him some nice abiities and breaking him from Kirinhaluthad power?
- I like Kirinhaluthad but at one point she could just die or her secret indentity discovered by a party, our hero would then keep continue travelling with party without her? Or maybe she would then fly the party, taking tiny with her, but party will come after her and rescue him?
- Generally I love earthqukes created by mere walking of giantess, tinies experiencing tremendous g-force while being lifted by them, defeaning voices, shadows enfulging tinies in darkness, generally giantess dominating tiny reality by their sheer size alone, keep good job with that :)

 

I know that points above might sound like a "wish fest", but tread them just like suggestions :) I'm eager to see what you will write regardeless of them

Author's Response:

I love it when people are enthusiastic about my work like this!

I always thought that a succubus, if done properly, could be a good psychological villain, and I hope I'm pulling it off.  As a size story, making it so the pact made him physically reliant on her by shrinking him while also giving him unnatural abilities seemed like the natural step.  Admittedly I was put off by the initial tepid reception, but after thinking about it and the work I did setting a foundation I decided to revisit it.

Making him smaller would be fun, but doing it long-term would drastically change the story that I'm telling.  Them being aware of him, though just barely, is a frequent source of conflict, since they have to accomodate him to a certain extent.  His annoying, squeaky voice is a powerful irritant for some of the party members, too, and if they couldn't even hear him that bit of frustration would go away.  Plus, I like writing Bush as a giantess that's relatively easy to interact with, since she hold him like a doll and whatnot.  The multi-size aspect helps keep things interesting for me.  However, this isn't to say he won't be getting smaller at any point, it just won't be a permanent change, I also really like writing from the nano perspective :)

I plan for it to be quite long, so no worries there!  However, I like to keep future plot developments under wraps until they happen, so all I'll say is keep reading.  Unless something comes up that vastly changes my plans, I'm only a quarter of the way through!