Date: July 11 2018 9:40 PM Title: Chapter 21...Friend Equals Target Pt. 2
Very timely story with the illegal immigration theme. You did a good job showing the human suffering that many ignore in this issue (albeit suffering brought on by a psychotic light mage who tried to eat them all in this case). Carlos' death was tragic but I'm glad the rest of the family made it.
Yeah. Personally, I think what's happening at the border is insane. It's gone beyond "obeying the law". Even the UN has denounced it. When I wrote the chapter I knew it would be in Mexico, northern Mexico to be percise. Adding that, it would be silly to ignore the dynamic involved in that region. Just impractical writing. I did my best to give a balanced take on the matter showing that both sides of the argument was recognized. Thanks for you comments. I do read and appreciate them.
Date: June 17 2018 9:19 PM Title: Chapter 19...Return to the Land of the Rising Sun Pt. 2
Nice sub-plot. It was cool to see Hikari and the koonago again and to delve into Japanese folklore some more. The various challenges the team faced were like something out of an adventure movie. The sequence with the oni was especially great and I got a kick out of the reference to Issun-boshi (one of my favorites).
Date: June 02 2018 11:09 AM Title: Chapter 18...First Shot Fired Pt. 2
Wow, another action packed set of chapters! The invasion by the Final Heaven agents was very dramatic. Nice job on the battle scenes and all the various forms of magic. I liked Keith's trick using the girl to sabotage the Mogwai government. The final scene with the torture and killing of the family in the frozen yogurt was a bit too disturbing for me but it certainly established the ruthlessness of the villains.
Date: April 23 2018 10:06 PM Title: Chapter 15...Happy Birthday Claire Pt. 2
Quite an eventful birthday. I loved the scene of Claire rescuing the shrunken car and healing the victim's wounds. Very cool. I look forward to seeing what she can do when she unlocks her full Fae potential.
Date: April 07 2018 1:15 AM Title: Chapter 14...On the job Training Pt. 2
Finally caught up on this story. Ebony is so evil!
I enjoyed Lawan's training session with her students. Interesting way to prepare them for the dangers of being tiny. My favorite part though was the flashback ators from Keith's past. The way you described the size of the human girl and the little two-inch boy's fear and helplessness was very exciting. Loved the image of a "tarp" from Victoria'' Secret too.
Date: March 26 2018 6:29 PM Title: Chapter 12...The Yaksha Pt. 2
I've been busy so I'm just now catching up on this story. I've only read through the Yaksha chapters so far. These are legends I'm not as familiar with. I think I've heard of Yaksha but don't remember much about them. And Mogwai I only know from the Gremlins movies (your version will no doubt be quite different).
In any case, the miniature hidden city was very cool and the battle with the snake was quite dramatic. Nice to see that Keith has a potential mate with Lawan. A good solution for the love triangle he seems to be stuck in. But will Ebony's plot ruin their best laid plans?
I enjoy reading your reviews. As for Ebony...let's just say she won't be just sitting around.
Date: February 26 2018 6:32 PM Title: Chapter 11...Turning Point Pt. 2
I hope Aspen's testimony can change public opinion in favor of the tiny folk. Also curious to see if she can escape Ebony's curse or if her child will end up being taken from her. And speaking of children, nice to see Claire's kid make his debut and survive the chapter. Being swallowed whole by an evil giantess is certainly an unusual way to induce labor.
Date: February 11 2018 1:57 AM Title: Chapter 10,,,The Tale of Oberon Pt. 2
Awesome chapters! Lots of surprising revelations and emotional moments. As usual, I really enjoyed your use of folklore, in this case the Sluagh and the Morrigan. The hints of other tiny races that haven't been encountered yet were interesting as well. This continues to be one of the best stories on this site.
Date: February 01 2018 10:13 PM Title: Chapter 9...the Menehune Pt. 2
Oberon vs. Pele was a very cool moment. Love the mixing of mythologies. I was not expecting Richie to go with the Homunculi. Interesting twist.
Speaking of which, I can't imagine what some of those Homunculi are going through. They still have memories of being human. They've barely adjusted to not being who they think they are. And now they're being changed into yet another type of being altogether!
Overall, another good chapter. That last sentence has me in suspense.
Date: January 12 2018 11:44 PM Title: Chapter 8...the Homunculi Pt. 2
Wow, that was dark but it ended with a note of hope. Glad that they took the homunculi in, as they were innocent and had suffered enough. That will be interesting now that they have a whole house full of tiny people.
I've never heard of homunculi absorbing the soul of the person they're based on. Is that from the legends or did you create that idea for the story?
Pretty sure I know who was possessing Keith (Oberon I assume?). Intrigued to see how that plays out.
For homunculi lore I had to borrow from two sources. The German one (which did include Faust and how to create them) and Arabic. The Arabic one goes into more detail as to the nature of them. "Soulless creatures that hunger to be come human" was one quote. "Tiny humans with a fragment of a soul that yearns to be more than it is" was another. As you can see they differ slightly but convey a similar idea. They want to be human. Them eating souls was my play on it.
Now with this group in the house, they will have a nice part to play in the next chapter. As for Oberon inside Keith...the better question is is it the Oberon of legend or something else? And what did he mean by "vested interest"?
Stay tuned :)
Date: December 24 2017 6:29 PM Title: Chapter 7...Death and Rebirth Pt. 2
I hope Lily left her magic dirt, I think Claire and Aspen would enjoy a bit of size role reversal <3
love the story equal parts sexy as hell and really interesting plot and world building. Keep it up!
Date: December 23 2017 6:48 PM Title: Chapter 7...Death and Rebirth Pt. 2
Great chapters, very suspenseful. Like I said in my last review, I figured there was a loophole to the curse. I like all the rules you came up with for how the magic works, how souls and bodies interact, and what happens to the soulless. Very creative.
The mention of Oberon was interesting. I wonder if they'll run into him and if so, how he would react to the death of his (ex?)wife, Titania.
And now a homunculus chapter! Another legend I've used in my stories. I look forward to seeing your take on it.
Date: December 09 2017 9:46 PM Title: Chapter 6...The Alux Pt. 2
Another good sub-plot. I'm a bit confused as to how Elena will continue her music career. Without Gabi's cruel influence, I assume she won't be eating anyone else. But doesn't that mean her magic will fade and she'll shrink back down to Alux size? Will she be the world's smallest pop singer? That would be kind of cool actually, I was just unclear on whether that was the plan.
Aspen had quite a dark side in this. That guy that was hitting on her was an asshole but he didn't deserve to die. Aspen being shrunk is kind of karma. That said, I've seen enough spells with loopholes in fantasy fiction that I have some ideas on how that can be reversed.
Elena showed that she had talent to begin with but as Gabi pointed out in the dressing room her sacrifice maigc boosted it by several degrees. As the lore pointed out, the Alux have a natural ability to use magic on their own. They just need sacrifices to do stuff beyond their ability to change size. With Elena being exposed, I see her still trying to make it as a pop star on her own talent and yes tiny size.
Aspen has shown in the past a dark side especially when someone she loves is mistreated and worse yet threatened. For example shrinking that Save-Mart worker for judging Aspen and Claire's relationship. As for the guy, Aspen probably would have just gave him a punishment for touching her or moving Claire out of his way but when he casually tossed her lover in freezing lemonade Aspen saw that as a direct assault that could've killed her. All bets were off then.
As for karma it really is. Aspen has shown some carelessness to borrower feelings as to using them for her needs. Sure she says she understands but does she really? As for loopholes...well they say the cure can be as bad as the disease...
Date: November 17 2017 6:38 AM Title: Chapter 1...The borrowers
was to harsh eirlier so sorry.What is your reason behind this great story?
When I was still working on invasion, I wondered what my next project would be. I didn't want to do another Invasion Saga so soon so I ended up hitting a writer's block. When this happens I go to other things to help. In this case I was collaging as I also do giantess and shrunken collaging. As I was going over my old works, I remembered I did a set entitled "Tiny Women of the World". A picture with a included demographic for each species. Then it hit me. I could do a story about this. I thought about what it would be like if tiny people really did live in the world. Humans would be kind and cruel to them.
Now that I had a plot I need characters. My main character was going to be human. A human that would travel the world cataloguing and learning about all the different species of tiny people. My inspiration was Bindi Irwin. A bisexual girl fighting for the rights of Borrowers and for the right to start a life with one. Now I had Aspen.
The next character was going to be the borrower. The sexiness of Barbie mixed with the upbeat personality of Arriety. Now I had Claire.
For the supporting character he needed to be male for the audience and sexual tension. A kind and selfless guy driven by a dark past. Now I had Keith.
So that's how I came up with the story. :)
Date: November 14 2017 11:17 PM Title: Chapter 5...the Brownies Pt. 2
Great work. Very tragic that the Nirumbee went extinct. But like Titania, it seemed that Bentgrass had let bitterness consume her.
I'm surprised there was no mention of the original European brownie legends. That was no doubt what the white settlers named the Native American little people after. Do those exist in this universe or are they just a legend?
I'll be honest, some of the sex scenes get a bit, er, extreme for me (but what do I know? I'm a bit of a prude sometimes). But I love what you do with the folklore in this story.
Author's Response: When I looked at the lore for brownies I found two different ways it was described. The European version grouped them all as Fae mostly. Different names for the same thing. Fae, fairy, sprite...they all fell under brownie. And it did carry over to the new world. In this universe it didn't for the sake of simplicity. Native American brownie lore was far more diverse. Yeah the sex scene here was admittedly rough and I did hesitate here due to the circumstances but looking at their lore I needed plot reasoning. Hence Kelly. Thanks for the review :)
Date: October 28 2017 4:21 PM Title: Chapter 4 The Gremlins Pt. 2
This story continues to be awesome. I love the idea that gremlins are borrowers bred to be sabateurs during war. Very clever. Clara and Wulf's story was quite moving. Nice to see public opinion towards the tiny folk gradually changing.
Date: October 26 2017 4:03 PM Title: Chapter 3...The Fae
I've read all the chapters so far, and the volume of each chapter is pretty nuts and the content is great. The character development is pretty solid too and the scenarios and length of each one is ok as well, minus the fairy one anyway, the koonago one definitely felt good being so long and detailed.
I felt the Fae chapter was a bit... underwhelming? Magical size altering and changing fairies and such would have made for some fun and interesting situations I think, and was mostly a missed opporunity. I was kinda looking from about mid chapter to seeing claire wind up with some magic power by the end of it, but sadly she did not :(
Honestly this story is pretty strong to me so far. Long and detailed chapters and settings are amazing on these kinds of websites so I always look forward too them when I find the really good ones like these lol.
good luck on the next one!
Thanks for the review. That chapter is less "meaty" for a reason. When i thought about the Fae being a mythical species, It needed it to be one of two things. A very hidden species like koonago or a nearly extinct one and using the latter as a tie in to explain the borrowers origin seemed perfect. I really did ant to show a fairy society but I needed a good reason for Titania to be mentally deranged. Being a queen of an empty realm and watching those she held dear (forest included) leave or die fit the bill.
As for Claire. right now she has no magical abiliies left but not to give too much away...that could change.
As for length, the next chapter is going to be bigger. Stay tuned :)