Date: July 27 2017 12:09 PM Title: Chapter 4
One of the if not the best cereal vore plots I read. You just do the horror aspect perfectly right, of the tension and delaying. Please keep her eating like this and doing stuff on her phone, or even have maybe a call from a boy from school flirting with her, that would be so funny and humiliiating, if her boyfriend was just on the spoon next to her lips.
Date: July 27 2017 8:24 AM Title: Chapter 4
finally! update :) hot chapter. your the best with the skinny girl eating, on the phone, and holding her spoon casually in front of her lips, and sending the micros through hell with this. I cant think back of another author who did it this well. looking forward for the next
Date: July 27 2017 7:07 AM Title: Chapter 4
Oh what I have waited for this. So happy to see another chapter. I was actually worried you may have abandoned this story. What a fantastic new hapter. Youre just a god with details, the idea with the phone conversation and the selfie was brilliant. I imagine, what if he phone had really high MP and there was this evidence on this very picture, if you would zoom into it like 100x you may see a microscopic small person glued to the frooploops on her nose... and no one would know the evidence was there, right there on this picture. This is a cool and cruel idea to think about. Sadly I am no fan of "nose vore", which was a bit of a killer for me there. But still this doesnt change how amazing your writing skills are. PLEASE continue!
Date: June 27 2017 9:44 PM Title: Chapter 3
lovin this one, how she ate her cereals withouth the single clue and not even looking at it, how he tried esperatly to save himself, and then that damn stupid last cereal one was blcoking the way, this plot is amazing. hope to see you continue soon
Date: June 23 2017 1:40 PM Title: Chapter 3
This was the best so far but a bit short (maybe?). I love longer chapters more, too many on here write way too short chapters. the story telling is but 10 out of 10. holding the spoon, lifting, the chewing, the wet gulping sound, the near eaten experience, this is how good vore stories should be written!
Date: June 22 2017 8:33 PM Title: Chapter 3
... I have no words. Actually I have a lot, but I am speechless. I think it is safe to say, that this is one of the best "pre-eating" chapters I ever read in my entore life, and this story already is mostly the best or one of the best published on here in 2017.
This is also the best chapter so far, and I cant imagine how it can get even better?? You must have some incredible writing skills, and if you continue like this, this story have good chances to become one of the best all time I ever read.
You have incredible talent of stretching events, which just take a few seconds. So many authors do this just wrong, and tell plots in an fast-forward mode, or in a boring script like plot, like a diary. But here.. you do ist just PERFECTLY right! You stretch time literally, and tell all the thoughts from the micros perspective, tell all the details happening around, and this makes a great author. The reader can literally dive into the event and feeling time to slow down, to look around, to breath in the moment, to see it happening in a clear vivid picture. This is just incredible...
I could count so mayne best examples of pure good plot telling, for example the part with the last blue "damn" blocking giant froot loop, blocking the path to the soon was hilerious and just good example of unfairness...
And know what is best? That the micro was alone in this situation... it added SO much more humiliation, and lonylness, of this poor boy, totally alone, with the rising spoon, I could see him whispering with a white socked face ... nooo... and the friends just could do nothing in their power, seeing the spoon rising.
I love these kind of situations, where a group is split, and one very very unlucky guy gets eaten, where the rest of the group survives, this adds so much "unfairness" and just is a great concept. Hope you do it again in the upcoming chapters! MAybe even have one of two of the group survive as micro "dust" bugs, totally losing it in the gigantic room, thy they could do nothing to help the unlucky person, who booked a friendly one way trip through this girls digestive tract...
The part of the "welcome party", was again such a great ironic chose of worse... totally a welcome party to hell, a lovely digestion party!
I also loved how you made the girl skinny, I love skinny women more than anything in plots like this, who have fast metabolism, and the part where he thought about it and it send shivers through his bones was epic:
"He used to wrap his arms around her waist and laugh about how she was so thin. She'd always pout at him and talk about how much she ate, but could never gain weight. He didn't want to think about the irony of those conversations and his current predicament. All the times he heard people talking about how fast her metabolism was, and he would get to experience it like a vicious, terrible flume ride."
I also loved his illusionary thoughts here:
"Well, if he survived to reach her stomach, let alone her intestinal tract. A full tour of his girlfriend's inner workings was not his idea of a good time, even if he did like roller coasters and water parks. Her colon was an entirely different issue."
Not many people know this, but the small intestine actually is the worst hell hole of digestion, much stronger than the stomach, because of the basic enzymes and alcalic solution in there. Meaning, if a poor person was sucked through the small intestine ring entrance, he would maybe have false hope at first and then realizing soon how wrong he was, actually breathing in the first smell on the "other" side, when he was rudly sput face first in a slimy foul mix on the floor, the foul smell totally getting to him, and he vomitting his guts out on the floor of the small intestine. Then some deep rumbling happening a bit later when he maybe tried desperatly hammering agains the tight ring of muscle flesh, leading back to the stomach, it suddenly may pop open and him be like YE- and a wet "burp" cought him in the face, sending him on his face, soon to realize the greenish yellowish slime was already starting to digest him.
How you stopped time with her holding the spoon in front of her wet lips. not looking at hit, was the most thrilling part actually...
You rock man!! Cant wait for the next part!