[Report This]Date: December 29 2016 11:54 PM Title: Why me?
While I love the detail, I feel like not much has happened in the chapter. Most of it was just a lot of detail about what this girl did or what Percy observed.
What made the first chapter good was how Percy was staring at this girl, she stares back, she follows him, shrinks him and captures him.
The second chapter and this chapter don't show much progress in the story. I understand that you want to reveal one thing at a time, but I think there could some more action here and there besides being bumped in a purse and being poked by a pencil.
Finally we know his name; Percy. We still don't know the girl's name, but we know that she is slightly younger and goes to the same school as Percy.
This chapter felt kinda confusing. She seems to be studying him, like he is a science experiment. She wants his name and starts measuring him. Not sure why and I'm curious what it has to do with the story.
Hopefully, this girl interacts a bit more with Percy. I can't wait for what she has in store.
I also can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Heya! So for this story im attempting to refine my skills for if i decide to pursue another story. By no means does that mean this is merely a test and will be a dead end story, as a result im attempting to pay attention to the fine details, i was the person reading to envision almost exactly what it'd be like if possible. Chapter 2 i admit wasn't planned out to be the way it was but thats because i made chapter 2 specifically based off your first review. So you may find in future there is a little easter egg waiting to be revealed. Incentive is key. For chapter 3 it was a long one stretching across to 3000 words, with a descriptive built up to what i thought was quite a dramatic end, maybe splitting the 2 chapters that were originally one was a poor choice?
Date: December 29 2016 1:41 PM Title: Why me?
This giantess is a bit different from what I'm used to seeing. It makes for likable narrative, even if I don't want Percy to be harmed. I felt my pulse raising a bit as I read this, wondering what may happen to him.
Author's Response:
Hmm, when i used to creative narratives, i used to pay quite a lot of attention to detail. Without specific details one cannot envision the situation itself. While my skills have diminished im trying to improve them in order to make a heart wrenching/dramatic story. I'm curious to know what makes the giantess i've created different from what you've encountered previously. thank you very much for your continued response it really does help :)