[Report This]Date: March 23 2017 6:49 PM Title: A Deal With The Devil...
A (quality) double chapter release in just 2 days?! I'm starting to wonder if YOU'RE a monster too! xD
Apologies if my previous comment about Abby's characterization seemed generalizing; I was certainly not trying to suggest she's just a less sympathetic Claire! Now that she's calmed down and isn't screaming at the mere sight of monsters, I'm really enjoying the dynamic she shows for her new "companions." The medical scene with Kari was a perfect example of that; Abby's struggle of maintaining her Hippocratic oath and wiping away the tears of the child clashes wonderfully with the disdain she holds for all monsters and their deeds. Love the internal conflict, and I'm very interested to see where it'll take us next. Wouldn't be terribly surprised if Abby nurses Najia back to full health and then, upon regaining her size (if Kari is able to pull through with the request), leads a witch hunt against the "monsters." Not out of any particular malice, just because it's what people do. And it's a lot easier to hunt a creature down when she doesn't look like an adorable child before your eyes! :p But of course, I could be wildly off-base with that... just a thought!
Thanks for the writing suggestion! I could definitely stand to have another set of eyes take a look at some of my ideas and let me know if they're worth expanding into actual stories or not. As for your experiences, did Franchise Writer provide guidance on particularly developing the basic ideas, characters, and themes of PLD into the full story, or was his advice geared more toward plot details, pacing, etc.?
Anyway, I greatly look forward to the next chapter. And as for you right now, get to bed already! xD Pull too many all-nighters, and it won't be just Najia who needs those echanasea and dandelion extracts!
Author's Response:
No need to aplogize, i take no offence to you finding diference or similarities in characters. There their own characters after all. :P
I'm glad to see you're getting into it. :D
I'll try to update soon, but it might be a couple days lol. I'm pretty tired.As for whats to come you're just going to have to read and find out. ;)
On reguards to Franchise Writer's help, he kind of helped with everything. "Rubs back of head sheepishly" After reading some... or, most all of his stories except some stuff i didn't know about i noticed he mentioned on his bio that he helps people with writing so i just messaged him, and it all took off from there. The idea i had in mind was kind of odd but he honestly didn't act weird when i mentioned what I wanted my story to be about. So, I wrote the first three chapters with his guidance and posted them but about midway into the fourth he really got involved and made me think more on my own story. He's helped me with plot, characters, funny scenes, grammer. He's been like a fun teacher I guess i should say. :P
I hope I didn't rant, I just really appreciate his help and all.
[Report This]Date: March 22 2017 2:38 PM Title: Dinner time...
I kind of feel bad for not being able to comment on the 2nd chapter before the 3rd was up. I should've tried to make some time to read, since I had it's tab open for the longest time in my phone, just didn't expect the next chapter to be up so fast.
About the pictures, yep they're nice, it makes me keep up my expectation for when the others characters appears. Also, it didn't seems like you got lazy with the description of the characters because of the pictures so that's great. Also, monster girls are great. Are those all the characters you're planning to add or there might be even more? Since it seems like a really big cast already.
Moving to the story, Abby is having it real bad but at least she's safe... ish... For now. That's all going to make her trauma even worse at this rate, if it didn't already, so hopefully she can catch a rest after Nya had her fun. There's also a glimmer of hope brought by Nya's kind actions, maybe that will be the first step in Abby overcoming her trauma.
I think the description of her trains of thoughts while all of this happened was great. Not only the physical damage, the humilliation well indeed hit her hard when she gets time to think straight. And not only her train of thoughts, I'm really liking this story as a whole. At first I was going to write that I liked the part in which Kari helds Abby just after she wakes up, but then I noticed I also liket what comed after that and the conversation before that, and all of Nya, so yeah, I think this is having a really good start.
About the characters, Casey, I suppose, and Kari seems nice, I likes the way they argued with each other. Kari seems to be a clumsy which with all that happened in the first two chapters and the other girl seem to have better head on her shoulders... Or hand... I love dullahans by the way. Ebon might be the hardest for Abby to deal with if she ever has to because of her view about humans but let's see how this goes. Nya seems kind a playful, I don't think there's much to say about her other than she's potentially the first one to become Abby's ally for now. And about the main character herself, she seems kind but not really a saint, she has knowledge so she might be able to make use of it now. I'm really interested to see how she develops in this situation.
By the way, I might also give Franchise Writer a message.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for reviewing Kenta! I missed your review from chapter 2 and got worried ;-;
I'm glad you liked the pictures and each of the characters there, while still in development are planned in the story already. As for others coming in. i'm not sure. I had all of the characters you saw there but two originally added but at the last moment i added two more. This story was kind of a request but the plot and characters were all by design so i can add or subtract whoever i need to. Hopefuly though they all see the light of day. I have plans for each of then with Abby and i look foward to using them all.
As for Abby being hit hard, thats an understatement XD I plan to reveal to everyone more on the little brunette with time, similar to what i did with Claire. You won't know it all at first but as pieces are revealed you'll learn why she is the way she is.
Don't think it's limited to just her either though. The girls will each have their own spotlight with time. I'm sure you know how i work :P
I hope to see you stick with me for this story to, you always leave me such intresting reviews to read afterwards. xP
P.S.
Feel free to message him! He really is a nice guy lol
[Report This]Date: March 22 2017 8:12 AM Title: Doctor, doctor...
First of all, just wanted to say my sincere congratulations on finishing PLD with such an uplifting ending; it was such a pleasure reading and enjoying each chapter as it released! Moreover, I'm very impressed at your enthusiasm for writing and ability to quickly jump to a new story so soon after the end of the first one. I have a few potential story ideas for the site I have been brewing in my mind for a while now, but I don't have confidence in my ability to keep writing chapters in a reasonable time, especially since I have a fanfiction currently on the back burner that I haven't updated since 2013... yeesh! So, I can't express how happy I am to see you're showing no signs of stopping any time soon!
As for the story, I'm certainly intrigued at this point. I am a big fan of monster girl media (especially Monster Girl Quest, one of my favorite games of all time), so I'm very much looking forward to seeing what kind of society these monsters have built up and what their histories are. It probably goes without saying, but Abby is so far a much less sympathetic protagonist than Claire, even if most of that seems to come from the obvious societal influences and upbringing rather than any personal behavior on her part. But I'll be looking forward to seeing how her experiences with the monsters might change that for the better (or worse? Who knows? haha), and how the monsters will begin to change their respective views toward humans.
Lastly, just wanted to commend you on your technical quality of writing, which seems to continue to improve with each chapter. It's gotten to the point where there are very few noticeable errors or typos, and virtually none that seriously impede the flow of reading. So, on that front, well done!
Looking forward to what's coming up next!
P.S.: Definitely wouldn't mind seeing a gallery of the inspiration artworks for PLD if you still have access to those as well.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for your words Hyperian. I'm glad my stories are having an impact on you like they are. :D
If you want to write for this site, i'd definitely say give it a try. It's really impacted my life. But, i do get where you're coming from with the whole time frame thing. I was worried about that to, which is why a lot of my earlier chapters were spaced a month or more at a time. Something i would recommend though is, if you need help with planning, or writing, give Franchise Writer a message. He's told me to tell that to people who mention it. XD
Thanks to him, he's really helped me improve on my work, :)
I'm pretty sure he does Fanfictions to as well... but i'm not sure on that one.
As for Abby being different then Claire, i did that intentinally. As much as i love Claire's altruism, i don't want all my stories to just have the MC being like that. It would be repetitive and unrealistic... well, more so in stories that involve people in situations such as these. But yeah, each of the characters aren't going to be carbon copies of other characters. I like when mine stand out from others and that includes past characters i've already written.
All i can really say is expect Abby to have a profound impact on the characters and to them on her as well. Things may seem black and white for now, but that will be changing as time goes on.
Thank you again for leaving me such a detailed review. I hope F.W. can help you if you do message him. I'm looking foward to any stories you write. :D
P.S.
I also love Monster girl Quest~ xP
Date: March 18 2017 2:39 PM Title: Doctor, doctor...
Why you do this! Now I gotta check everyday for updates on the story since PLD us gone 😂
Author's Response:
The best way to move foward is to stay busy. :3
[Report This]Date: November 03 2016 10:53 PM Title: Doctor, doctor...
Hey, nice start, now I've another story to look forward too.
As for stuff I would like to see happening, I think the butt tag will suffice. Maybe some sweat.
Author's Response:
Hmm, i think that will be arranged. I'm glad your looking foward to it KentaRyu.
Date: October 31 2016 7:12 AM Title: Doctor, doctor...
You have what appears to be a very interesting story here. I look forward to the next installment, once you get back to it.
Not many writers can handle multiple storylines simultaneously, but you seem to have a good start.
Author's Response:
Thanks Tigernach, I learned from the best :D