Reviews For Pay it forward
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: KentaRyu Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 23 2017 12:06 AM Title: Once bitten...

Wow,This was a really good chapter, I'm impressed. Great job guys.

Eve is a really interesting character, seeing how she took a liking by Abby and went through the trouble of having the teenager brought to her, even getting some clothes ready. I wonder what she saw in her future to convince herself that she is, let's say, "worth it" to be by her side, even after Abby's outburst. I was a bit nervous at that part, after repeating it quite some times I didn't think Eve would hurt her but she could've used some more drastical methods to keep her there. Though, a part me me thought that she should've already deduced and/or predicted that was going to happen. Same by the time she massaged Abby's back, even if she wasn't going to hurt her I was curious what she was trying to do. Using her fangs for a massage is something I don't thing I've seen before but it was a great idea and very well written too.

I also liked the parts in which Abby catched Eve out of composure, like when the teenager told her the "mistress" thing, her unintentional joke,  or by the end while dressing. The constrast between her usual calm and well-mannered personality and those bits made me like her more. Casey is still my favorite tho. Anyway, I wonder if in the future maybe Abby would be able to provoke that on her on purpose? Though it should be hard with the clairvoyance, which by the explanation I suppose it works better the closer the future is? I mean, there're so many paths Abby con choose for her future but as time advances those branches branc themselves so it might be harder to guess then. Then again, there's magic on the equation so I wouldn't know for sure.

And being still about Eve's powers, while she said that she see and hears everything that happens at the cave, it might not be so true. She didin't realize that the imps called her "mistress" in front of the tiny, and also didn't seem like she was expecting them to get some of Abby's energy so there might be a limitation to it? Or another vampiric-like powers like the ones from her familiars interfere with her own powers? I'm eager to know the limitations of what she can do.

By the end the vampire said: “Yes… Anyone in this cave will know the meaning of this, so make any you want aware if you so choose. But Abby, I caution you not to speak to any of the others about what we discussed here today. They don’t need to know what I’ve done… or, what I’ve seen.”. I wonder about the last past. Maybe is because I like her bot I thought it might've to do with Casey's confession? The dullahan said, or well, thought, that it was something she didn't event tell Kari so I don't think she would be very comfortable with Eve hearing, much less with watching the girls' intimate time that happened after that. Or maybe is a thing that happens so much that she doesn't care anymore? I also thought about the possibility of Casey and Kari not knowing about Eve, since it would be too complicated to keet Abby a secret from her and the vampire said she's among the ones that hates humans the most, but because Eve said that everyone knows what her protection mean, I guess they should also know about her. Oh, and now that I mention Casey, I hope she's not the jealous kind, since Eve seems to have some powerful intentions wiht her new friend. Or actually, I kind of hope she gets jealous. I just feel she would bee to cute pouting about it!... After cursing a lot, most likely.

The Heinrich curriculum, is nice for me to get to know more about that ranking system and I'm also really interested in knowing what species are the others at A rank. Also, thay said there was a huge steep between C and B rank but, is it the same for B and A? Eve implied that Casey could do nothing to stop her, which seems logical seeing she barely could keep up with the imps, but maybe that's just because she's a vampire and the four not-as-powerful A species could somehow be defeated by a B class? Sorry, it seems this chapter ignited more of my curiosity than usual.

As I mentioned before I enjoyed the fang massage and the whole way in which Eve handled Abby, literal and figuratively. The gesture of nuzzling the tiny against her cheek is something one could see here and there but is so cute I couldn't get tired of it! Also because she wants to "free" Abby from her preconceptions of wrong and right so that she can enjoy herself, I can get an idea about where this is going by that ending. Just, hope tha Abby doesn't get mad about it... Not much at least. Oh, and it's good to know now what happened with the imps' magic last chapter.

Anyway, excelent chapter.



Author's Response:

You always leave me such intricate reviews Kenta T^T It makes me want to cry happily. I love seeing a giant wall of text for me to read, it makes me happy to know my works truly appreciated. But, credit is due. A lot of the things your mentioning Franchise Writer wrote in such as but not limited to the Heinrich Curriculum and the fang massage as you put it. :P

You always ask so many quastions, and for the most part your intuition on whats to come is a bit scary. I don't think I should even hint at whats to come, you know to much! o_o

But as for what you mentioned Eve telling Abby, that was more a spur of the moment kind of thing. She meant it towards the future she saw and witnessed and towards all thats going to be coming her way. If the other girls knew that various Monsters were going to get near her, they'd be paranoid. So she wants to leave the others out of just her and Abby's little secret, even if only one of them knows the true details of all of whats to come. As for Eve having knowledge of everything going on in the caverns, that part is 100% true to the dot. I'll elaborate on it more later on, don't worry.

Also, expect there to be conflicts with the girls at some point once Eve makes herself known. Thats all I'll say for that...

 

you ask so many questions which I appreciate but i'm stuck not being able to answer them yet! D:

I'll try to update soon instead, how does that sound?

Alright, thank you again for a long review and your insight on what you think, It really does make a world of difference to me. I'm also looking foward to your new story, I'll try to find time in the future to watch it to!

Bye!

Reviewer: foreignkanto Signed [Report This]
Date: April 22 2017 9:44 AM Title: Once bitten...

Really nice chapter dude. Love the vampire. That massage was really interesting. Love to see what happens with that vampire in the future. Also hope Kari has some fun with Abby at some point.

Author's Response:

There will be a little of everything, don't you worry. :)

Reviewer: foreignkanto Signed [Report This]
Date: April 15 2017 3:42 PM Title: Impatience is a virtue...

Hey man, loved the chapter. It's a cool thing you're doing with Abby, as she's slowly starting to enjoy being used for her energy. And those imps were so fun. Their energy was such a cool thing in the orgy scene. And this new mistress seems i teresti g. She doesn't appear to harbor I'll will towards Abby. I'll love to see what she does.

Author's Response:

Did you review me twice?

Reviewer: foreignkanto Signed [Report This]
Date: April 15 2017 3:42 PM Title: Impatience is a virtue...

Hey man, loved the chapter. It's a cool thing you're doing with Abby, as she's slowly starting to enjoy being used for her energy. And those imps were so fun. Their energy was such a cool thing in the orgy scene. And this new mistress seems i teresti g. She doesn't appear to harbor I'll will towards Abby. I'll love to see what she does.

Author's Response:

You'll find out shortly Foreignkanto. Preperations are already underway for the next chapter >:)

Thank you for the review :D

Reviewer: KentaRyu Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 15 2017 12:06 AM Title: Impatience is a virtue...

Hi.

So the twins ended up being imps, I suppose their size was a good enough clue. They were adorable, specially their personality. It seems even Abby wasn't totally able to resist, maybe a sign of more change in her way of seeing the world? Though what happened next must have been a huge impact too, I wonder how she will react to that after waking up... I'm unsure whether something just awakened in teenager or is some skill the imps aren't aware they have. I'll go for the latter option for now, it would make sense with why they thought the other humans gave them their energy willingly.

The mistress raises some questions with her arrival to the story. For now I'm supposing she's a the vampire. The biggest wonder for me thought is how she got to know Abby's name, since knowing she's in the cave was already quite impressive. I can think of some possibilities such as using bats as familiars or another powers attributed to vampires like transformation to get the info but since vampire legends change a lot I can't really tell what she might be or not be able to do. Then again I can't be totally sure she's a vampire either... And finally I'm curious as the reason why the imps follow her. For now since she seem to want to talk Abby might be out of danger. Hopefully.

As for the draining time, it was really well written. I like it a lot. The imps seem really experienced in this and they sure showed it to Abby. The part about pressing her agains her navel was a little nice bonus for me, because of personal taste.

See ya.



Author's Response:

I thought their sizes would have given it away before but I'm glad it didn't. It made the surprise all the more exciting lol. As for what befell Abby, more to come in the upcoming chapters. :3

 

Their Mistress as well will be revealed in whats to come so I won't spoil anything. I'm glad your getting into it Kenta, and I'm glad i fullfilled a personal prefference. I'll note that down for the future :P

 

Reviewer: Nothingness Signed [Report This]
Date: April 12 2017 7:32 AM Title: Doctor, doctor...

I actually envy your ability to update these AMAZING chapters so quickly. I use to be like that with my story but sadly I'm suffering from a lot of writers block lately -_- Anyways, another great chapter as always! Given by the species the twins are, (I saw the pics. Oh gosh...) Abby will probably understand the true meaning of pleasure ;)

Author's Response:

Don't give up! I had lots of that when I was writing for PLD. It will come and go, don't worry! As for the species, a lot of people think their succubus but you'll be surprised to find out there not what they appear to be. Thank you for the review Nothingness. :)

Reviewer: KentaRyu Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 12 2017 2:43 AM Title: Double trouble...

No need to apologize for publishing a new chapter, it's not like you're forcing them to read or something. Though the interesting plot is indeed making me read it ASAP xD

The relationship Casey has with Abby is so sweet, I like a to their excahnge at the beginning and how the dullahan worked so hard to keep her out of danger, even if she failed at the end... Hopefully she can get back to the tiny before something bad happens.

This was more of a show of strenghts. Certainly the humans have a lot to fear if thoe species can do so much while being that young, even if they standards they're teenagers, I guess the only advantage humans have is numbers? And I suppose those are the twins that Casey mentioned before, maybe devil girls or succubus going by the pics. I actually thought that the twins might be harpies so I guess I was wrong on this one. I'm eager to see what they might do. Maybe in other scenario Abby wouldn't be as intimidated by them, since they're relatively short. Though after that display of power there're not two ways about it... I wonder if Casey would've been able to easily handle one of them? Maybe the reveal of their rank might clarify that, I'm a bit curious about under which criteria the rank is choosen.

And there's also the question as to who is her mistress. I'm a bit confused about what they were looking for. I thought it might be Casey but since they were curious about her in the end it might not be? Or maybe they just didin't get enought information from their boss.

Anyway, this is looking really interesting. Good job as always.

See ya.



Author's Response:

Wasn't really apologizing for my chapter lol, It was more that I was posting them to fast since some people might not visit the site a few days at a time. The chapters might get backed up and I know sometime's people don't have the time to read them. :(

I'm glad you like where this stories headed and don't worry, a lot of the questions you have will be answered in the near future. As for the two girls where it left off, that will also become clear next chapter. I'll try to post it soon. :D

Thank you for the review Kenta, I'll be leaving you one soon~

Reviewer: Nothingness Signed [Report This]
Date: April 09 2017 11:43 AM Title: Doctor, doctor...

Thank you for making my heart ache yet again with your stories. When Casey revealed her tragic it pasted, it reminded me of that scene from Tokyo Ghoul when... No. Thou shall not spoil. Thou shall not spoil. Thou shall not spoil. Anyways, poor Casey. Poor Casey's Mom! And poor Abby. The fact that you brought that up made things all the more realistic but that's the fucked up part: Reality can be cruel. At least Casey and Abby were able to comfort one another. I guess species doesn't matter when you could share in each others pain.

Author's Response:

I'm glad you can see where comfort in other's tragedies can coexist. It was a hard chapter to write but the tone has been set now for whats to come. Thank you for not spoiling Tokyo Ghoul, but i've already seen it xD

Thank you for the review as well. I really appreciate it Nothingness. :D

Reviewer: KentaRyu Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 09 2017 3:34 AM Title: Comfort in tragedy...

......... Dammit, you made me cry a bit ;_;

The first part was really sad, the whole being displayed alive thing sounds completely horrifying. And just thinking her mother might still be like this to this day is even worse. I'm not sure if I want to know what happened to her body. Since some time has passed since then I'm sure Casey has accepted what happened to some extend but still.... Damn.

Then Abby's past which was also really sad, her mom doing that to save her... It's also a wonder what happened to her father. I think the whole thing hasn't been told yet? For a second I thought the figure she saw might be actually a human but since he walked through the fire he should be from a different species.

The girls finally could find comfort in each other. It was a touching moment, they finally left their differences as species aside and embraced each other as live beings that care about the other. I really liked the way Abby tried to hold the Casey to console her, even at that size. She couldn't do much but I want to believe Casey appreciates that, and Abby too when the dullahan did the same for her. Abby might have felt relatively safe with Kari or Nya but I'm sure she just got to a deeper level of trust with Casey.

And for the second part, I'm note sure if it's because she took off her head, or because she could finally take a bit of a load off her shoulders after telling her story or for sharing an intimate moment with Abby, or maybe all of them, but was Casey acting a bit different after that. More playful, happier. The way she acted was really cute.

And of course, the grand finale. I was wondering how far you would go with the monster girls, as in if you were going to use regular interactions for those parts or make use of their characteristics as monster girls. I'm happy it was the second. Separating her head and using it in that way with Abby in the middle was great, I really enjoyed that. And well, this chapter as a whole.

I have some doubts though, for curiosity. Casey said that humans are mostly attacked because of their energy. Those that means that all the victims are raped or do they "settle" with other fluids like blood? And because of the thin with Ebon in the chapter before I suppose her species does eat, so maybe they also get some energy like that? I mean, Casey seems to be able to eat but don't get anything from it. Ebon seemed to be doing that as a necessity. I also forgot to mention this last chapter but I think she's either to young to be able to fly correctly (or well, land) or injured somehow. I lean more to the second option.

See ya.



Author's Response:

Then, I guess I did my job. I don't want my stories, any of them to be read from point A to B with happy endings. Throwing reality in, as dark as it may be shows more for what the world really is to them. Sorry for making you cry. ;-;

On regards to Abby's past, for now it's on hold. We don't need to delve into it just yet, but don't think it's over. As for it being a human whom came, I wouldn't say that either.

As for Casey acting differently, you can attribute that to her head no longer being attached. When it's off, expect her to be a different girl entirely. Almost like a split personality. Also, I do plan on using the Monster aspect of Monster Girls if thats what you meant. Don't think i'd limit the potential for each girl to act accodingly towards their own kind. You'll see soon what I mean.

In this world. from the context I used, energy, is the essence in any form from a human. Sweat, blood, other... fluids. But that doesn't rule out other parts as well. Bone, meat, flesh, e.t.c. Pretty much all Monster's need some type of energy to maintain themselves and it comes down to which ones they want. Some can be harmful to humans, other, not as much if they lose them. Make sense? That being said, only some Monsters need to go that far. For the more beastial type monsters, energy is needed, but so is food. Ebon as you'll find out will have some more explained towards her actions later. And about her sudden... landing. Wait and find out. ;)

Thank you for the inquisitve review Kenta, I love how you go into detail about what you think. :D

See ya.

Reviewer: foreignkanto Signed [Report This]
Date: April 08 2017 11:37 AM Title: Comfort in tragedy...

Loved the chapter, dude. It was great how the both told their horror stories with eachother's kind. They can understand eac other better now. Also when Cacey was taking the energy that was great. I wonder if she'll tell the little witch how good it is directly from the source, maybe she'll get in on the action. Also, how old is Casey supposed to be?

Author's Response:

I'm glad you liked it Foreignkanto :D

I wanted to try and show different perspectives through this chapter especially since it's taken from both a humans and a monsters.

As for Casey's age, she's the oldest of most of the girls being about 8. But, for Monster years it's a little different then you'd expect which i'll explain later on in the story. Don't worry. :)

Reviewer: KentaRyu Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 02 2017 5:51 AM Title: No sense losing your head over it.

It seems you're keeping a good rythm with this story, I think you said this one might be longer than PLD, right?

Abby seems to be becoming more open minded now, after what happened last chapter and her talk with Casey. At the same time that also seems to be of help with her relationship with the other girls. She's doing way better now and younger ones also seem to be accepting her more. The way Najia is recovering should also help to earn their trust I think.

I love Casey more and more as the story develops. I find her attitude really adorable. I'm really looking forward to the next one, since it seems to have some more of her. As for what she had to do to save herself and Abby, I'm not sure if she's a quick thinker or just let the urge inspire her. I'm usually indifferent about that kind of content but I found it rather nice here for some reason, maybe because of the characters. Also, it was funny. Just for curiosity, would covering her in sand would also worked or wouldn't be effective enough? Also, it seems Casey has some control over her clothes, I wonder to what extend.

There's also the bit of sadness she showed in her conversation. I suppose the reason they all look up to Najia so much must be because she helped them in some way in the past. I think it'll be interesting know more of that in the future. And about the other girl, Ivy, which I might get and idea about how she's related to Ebon by the pictures.

See ya.



Author's Response:

Hmm, well it might be. I'm pretty sure it will have more chapters since it has many more characters but i believe the shorter chapters fit in better which allows me to post sooner then a month at a time xD.

As for Abby, things are changing for her, mostly by force but you'll see a natural progression with her with a couple of the upcoming chapters from now that will help ease her into their world.

I'm glad you love Casey, i'm trying to go for unique characters once again and writing for a Dullahan definitely has enabled me to do just that. xD

For your curiosity covering wouldn't eliminate smells but burying would. For a short time at least.

Expect some things to e revealed soon so shift the flow once again. I look foward to the next chapter greatly.

See ya. :)

Reviewer: MadHatter Signed [Report This]
Date: April 01 2017 12:21 PM Title: Doctor, doctor...

I think this chapter is a big showing of why I enjoy your stories. Character interactions and such. I enjoy character development and interactions and good descriptions very much and it was no different with PLD. Hope to see the next chapter soon!



Author's Response:

I'm glad their to your liking. I love developing my characters as well because I see them as that, My characters. Their my children :D

Leaving any as blank slates doesn't sit well with me. I want to show everyone just what they can do and why they work the way they do. :P

Thank you for the review MadHatter.

Reviewer: KentaRyu Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 30 2017 3:43 AM Title: From bad to worse...

Nice, another chapter.

I don't really know a thing about accent so I can't tell you much about that. I think I've heard some of those words in an irish video though, if it helps.

Anyway I love Casey's character, her dialogues and scenes were really fun. I'm really eager to know more about her. I wonder if there's a reason for Abby's attitude towards her being slightly different. I mean she's still scared and all but maybe she feels more at ease with her? Like, enought to talk back. She also tried to initiate a conversation with her, that's a first. Also Abby seems to have gotten a used to Nya, at least a bit.

Something I'm wondering, is there a reason why Casey wants her head to stay in place? Other than mixing up aming humans, which doesn't seems like she does much. I mean she has been like that her whole life so she should be used to it. Is it because of the twins?

And with the ending, Abby doesn't get a rest. Probably this will lead her to some serious thinking about her own kind. And it was really cute what Casey tried to do for help her, I'm liking her even more.

Will be waiting for the next one.



Author's Response:

Well it was an Irish accent I was attempting to write, so hopefully I did something right. :P

Casey will have more of her own experience's explained in the coming chapters so don't worry. As for her head staying in place... she has her reson's, i'll leave it at that.

I'll be updating soon, hopefully. I already started on chapter 6... hard to belive I just started this back up. xD

Thank you for the review Kenta :D

Reviewer: Nothingness Signed [Report This]
Date: March 29 2017 8:25 AM Title: Doctor, doctor...

Geez, what a foul-mouthed Dullahan Casey is. You nailed her accent perfectly, too. She seems to had a very bad experience with humans and I'm curious to know what it was.

Author's Response:

Oh thank god, xD

I was scared I butchered her accent. This is the first time i've ever written one. I had to study for it for a full day before attempting it. lol

Things will be revealed shortly, just you wait. ;)

Reviewer: foreignkanto Signed [Report This]
Date: March 28 2017 3:32 PM Title: From bad to worse...

I never read Precious Little Demons, but I'm loving this story. It's super interesting! I love Nya especially.



Author's Response:

Well Foreignkanto, if you're new to my work I welcome you along for the ride. I think you'll find the chapters to come will be unique to their own as well so enjoy and thank you for leaving me your thoughts. 

>^,^<

Reviewer: Nothingness Signed [Report This]
Date: March 28 2017 10:18 AM Title: Doctor, doctor...

Also, why not use the FF/f size role tag? I'm sure it will draw more attention to your story.

Reviewer: Nothingness Signed [Report This]
Date: March 28 2017 10:12 AM Title: Doctor, doctor...

Congrats on posting your second story, man. Pretty good stuff here. Keep it up!

Author's Response:

Thanks Nothingness :D

As for why I never used FF/f mostly because at any given time there isn't more then 1 girl. I might adjust it later depending what happen's though. Thank you for messaging me. :)

Reviewer: xefron Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 26 2017 5:32 AM Title: A Deal With The Devil...

This is pretty damn good, keep it up.



Author's Response:

This comment can't be taken any other way. XD

Thank you Xefron, i'll do my best!

Reviewer: KentaRyu Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: March 25 2017 4:57 AM Title: A Deal With The Devil...

Ceratainly I wasn't expecting another chapter so soon. Just remember that there's no need to rush, if you need to take a break just take it.

I really felt bad for Abby at the beginnning of the chapter. Still, numb Abby seems to be doing better. Not exactly doing good but is progress nonetheless. Now that the deal has been made, she has some hope to aim to but the road there most likely won't be easy. Still, at least now she knows that Nya is mostly on her side and not some lusty beast that sees her as a toy. And Kari too should be her ally as long as they keep cooperating with each other.

I like the way Kari and Abby interact with each other, they seem to have similar likes, even if they've strongly different point of views about the way they see the other race, and it was a nice little detail what Kari did for Abby's clothing. I'm sure she's feeling really guilty right now, though Abby most likely either directly ignores that or wouldn't believe it. On another circumstances they might've gotten along very well. Though, just maybe that possibility still exists in a not so close future. The biggest issue, other than Abby's trauma, most likely is the way each kind see the other, since humans hate towards the other two doesn't seem to be one sided. At least, that's what I can deduce by the conversation the witch and the human had when she was tyring to convince Abby to help her and also Ebon's attitude towards Abby. There's also the possibility that this is just an isolated case because of what happened to Najia. It was fun when Nyaa joined the other two, It might take some time until Abby get use to her though, even if she kind of understands the neko's motives. Now, I'm looking forward to see what Casey does next.

Something else to note is the introduction of terms such as Beastial and Hominals. I like information that adds something to the background and the story's world. Also, I might be wrong but: "All of our kind thrive from energy, and humans have an abundant source of it… T-T-That includes… well…". I think this is an interesting piece of information that I think might spell trouble for Abby later on.



Author's Response:

"Chuckles darkly" Indeed...

I'm glad you caught onto that little mention. You never seem to miss the tiny bits i through into my stories. XD

I'm not trying to overwork myself, i just have a lot of time on my hands since school's coming to a close in a few months. If you think i'm bad now, just wait till Summer's here, >:)

Though... if my family wants to vacation out of country again i might be in trouble... :(

Either way, i want to make sure this story thrives and is able to stand on it's own two legs and not just under the shadow of my last one's success. I want people to like it for it's own unique twist, and characters and plot. "shrugs" I'll probably be updating soon again anyways, probably not as soon as this chapter but i've started on the next one already. I'm really looking foward to Casey as well. I wanted the line up to be special, and if a Dullahan isn't one of them then i don't think I should be writing this. XD

Hope to see your reviews again soon Kenta! :D

Reviewer: MadHatter Signed [Report This]
Date: March 24 2017 12:07 AM Title: Doctor, doctor...

I may not be a a vocal as most but I have a lot of authors on this site I look for updates from and you'll always be one of em after PLD. Don't lose motivation! The views will come! I know I will lol



Author's Response:

Thank you for your words MAdHatter, they calm my nerves a lot. :)

Thank you for sticking with me through PLD and I hope to see you to the end of Pay it Foward as well.

You must login (register) to review.