I can see how hard you worked on this chapter Ced. It really shows. nice job. Its one of my favorite chapters yet.

I love the way Al talks to jacen. She isnt even aware of how her attitude is changing towards him but it is obvious to the reader. I love when she tells him that he can speak now. So demeaning. And jacen obeys! excellent.  Al is definitely starting to think of jacen as a pet rather than as a person and its happening so innocently that it makes it all the more humiliating!

I cant wait to jenni sees jacen for the first time. I have a feeling she is older and will treat jacen a lot differently than al does.

I love that allyson teases him bringing back what he used to say to her... you have to be this tall! haha I can see her looking down on him making gestures with her hands as jacen looks up futilely. She is enjoying this siuation alot and shes not even really got used to have a doll sized brother. Wait till she becomes comfortable with his situation and realizes  hes going to be like that for awhile! Excellent!

Another aspect I love in this chapter is the way jacen starts to think of them as giants. you have written it beautifully. He does not even think of himself as their equals anymre and this is going to come into play. He is already seeing them as a pet looks up to how owners. That will be difficult for our first born to deal with as his sisters get used to being the giants too!

Great story. I do hear where you are coming from as far as the rewrites and the desrie for perfection. I have been there. From this reades perspective, you are doing great! I dont think you should put so much pressure on yourself...just write! You are doing great.

 cant wait for more! Im guessing that al sounds to be about 12 and that jenni is maybe 16 or 17. I bet I am right but you dont have to tell me.

I have tried finding you on aim at night but so far you havent been on when I login, hope to find you there soon so we can talk again!

Htp