[Report This]Date: June 22 2023 1:41 PM Title: Good Morning
I wish Luna's mom grows even bigger and hotter.
We need huge sexy moms in the new world, much bigger than young girls!
[Report This]Date: October 03 2015 10:05 AM Title: Good Morning
Wow! One of my favorite stories of all time has been given new breath. You've done an absolutely superb job of maintaining the voice of the original series, and you clearly nailed the personalities through your coordination with SpookyTaco. I really hope you decide to keep going with this. You've done exceptional justice to the original work, and I'm just as spellbound by your words as I was by those of SpookyTaco.
I was suprised at how powerful you've made the glimmer effect on men. It seems to steal even their mental coherence and ability to maintain their own desires, let alone actions. They are truly powerless if their own desires can be subverted by the women around them. Very titillating stuff. Also, and perhaps its just too early to see, but given her misgivings in the first series, I expected to see a bit more reservation on Luna's part regarding the use of her new "powers". Instead, it seemed to only bolster her enjoyment of her new position of superiority.
Also, with Luna's recognition that sharing her man is only right and fair, I feel it's changed his role somewhat. Maybe this is by design to undermine his control even more, but something about her statement about not sharing him now seeming illogical and selfish seems to shift him from a soulmate and lover to a sort of pet that should be shared to bring enjoyment to other women. I'd be very curious to see if her new feelings on the matter drive her to compel him to service other women, perhaps even against his wishes. So far, he's appeared to prefer manogamy.
Of course, as a (very amateur) writer myself, I understand that you really need to write the story you envision. I hope I haven't offended you; I'm just trying to communicate what I was thinking as I read.
Your continuation of this story has truly grabbed me and you can be sure I'll be devouring any future chapters you put out. Fantastic work.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the comments! It's always great to hear how readers interpret the story.
The main thing I'll take credit for with the glimmer is naming it, since in the original story it had no name. The final Luna/Ash kissing moment in the original story already showed Luna's kiss glimmer forcing Ash into an immediate need for sex. I did heighten that a little with stammering and potential loss of conciousness.
I agree Luna hasn't expressed much reservation about her new ascended 'power'. Part of this is natural (her entire experience of life has changed), and part of this is writer's impatience, growing her into her new self too quickly. Hopefully future chapters will give me the chance to show small amounts of the original Luna peeking through, and show us that compared to other ascended women, Luna is already acting with great restraint.
As for Ash, it's impossible for Luna's ascension not to change his situation. The questions are how fast? and how much? I have many future chapters planned and outlined. Enjoy them as I post them.
Date: September 30 2015 10:06 AM Title: Good Morning
Beautiful, just plain beautiful and honestly I believe it is great seeing little Luna now fully ascended and going through an awakening of sorts for seeing her husband Ash for how wonderful he is and also how beautiful she has become.
Date: September 28 2015 9:00 PM Title: Romantic Dinner
Great chapter! I can honestly say that this one was the best so far, it was so detailed and sexy!
[Report This]Date: September 28 2015 5:15 PM Title: Romantic Dinner
Wow, two chapters at once! I almost didn't notice this second chapter. I recommend spreading this out more next time. :)
This was a great chapter tho! We got to see Ash and Luna 'interact' after her full ascension and while it went as expected, in some ways, that's a good thing.
You do a good job of portraying Luna's enhanced intellect. Let's hope her brilliance doesn't become more of a burden than a boon.
You mentioned at one point that she pulled his head into her stomach, just under her breasts. Would he be that tall? I think he's only 5'9. So he'd perhaps reacher her lower abdomen, unless she was coming up the stairs or something.
Author's Response:
Good catch on the height mistake. I fixed it.
I considered posting the update as a single chapter, but it makes more sense as two.
[Report This]Date: September 28 2015 4:49 PM Title: Good Cop, Bad Cop
Not too much going on in this chapter. Nice how you linked to the first story with the jewelry shop tho.
There are so many easy ways Ash could get money, e.g., selling his services to the highest bidder. However he opts for 'traditional' employment. Hopefully experiences like this, the inability to afford things, don't change his mind. :)
[Report This]Date: September 21 2015 6:43 PM Title: Lunch with Addison
Interesting. Definitely a departure from what I'd envisioned with the knife bending thing, but I like it! I think it would be good to add an explanation of 'glimmer' at some point since I don't think it was mentioned in my original story. I do like the name for it tho, has an 'enchanting' connotation. I also like the way you portrayed Addison. I like how she explained the altruistic intentions of Ascended, i.e., they're intelligent enough to know the benefit of healing and the value of sharing their male partners to survival of their race in general. Jealousy in the classic sense doesn't exist in the same way. Kissing is held in higher esteem as something shared for true intimacy since healing (i.e., sex) serves other more critical functions beyond intimacy/pleasure.
Write more please! :)
Author's Response:
The 'power within' concept was born out of my desire to make the advantage that induced acendants have take a tangible part in the story, rather than Luna just "being passively smarter". This is what happened in chapter 1 with Luna and her moment of focus / intellect.
However, I didn't want the 'power within' (might need a better name) to be exclusive to induced (or exclusive to intellect), since that seemed too weird. Thus the 2-3% of women who cultivate their inner connection (i think of it as a zen/enlightenment thing)
Combine this with my desire to find some way to make Addison unique, and I decided she needed to have access to this rare gift, especially for strength. This explains why she's a police officer, and why she's such a 'catch' for a sexpot like Regan. It also expains how Addison is really the alpha among them, even if she doesn't always seem it. (though who knows how that will change now that Luna's induced!)
[Report This]Date: September 21 2015 6:23 PM Title: A Day at the Office
Another excellent chapter. Your 'day at work' is much better than what I'd started. You keep the interactions one-on-one, which allows us to focus on dialog and characters without being overwhelmed by the number of people at work. You show man as 'boss' in a tongue-in-cheek sense -- an ususual mixture of 'extremely valuable' and 'hopelessly dependent/inferior'. Even though it's a 'safe' environment, they don't even let him go to the bathroom unaided. Yet Ash takes it all in stride simply because he knows of no different existance. Women are likely jealous of Amy and her regularly being the first person Ash calls for aide. She, of course, is thrilled. Assuming 1 man marries 4 women on average (who knows the exact ratio), women only have a 1 in 25 chance of getting married so it's like winning the lottery. This type of society opens itself up to all kinds of other facets. The world would be a dream come true for a lesbian, even though most partners would prefer a man. I imagine the sex toy industry would also get a lot of business. With Ascended fluids having such an effect, I wonder if women would try to 'spike' the drink of a man. Now I'm just rambling but you got me thinking again. :)
Author's Response:
Thanks!
In my mind, nobody in this world would fit our definition of "lesbian". No ascended woman prefers female intimacy to healing, since it's like an orgasm x 10, plus the health and life benefits. That said, with so few men, and no taboo about F/F relationships, it's natural for women to fall in love, build strong relationships, and marry. With healing easy (if pricy) at healing centers, they can enjoy each other and healing too.
Addison is the current character closest to a lesbian. She's a very strong woman, attracted to strength only other ascended women can offer her. She also can hold off her urges towards men much better than most women. That said, she still needs and desires healing. It's just part of ascended physiology.
[Report This]Date: September 21 2015 5:35 PM Title: Good Morning
Even if this wasn't a continuation of my story, I'd want to read this. You're a skilled writer, and you bring the characters to life in a unique way. The jump from first person to third person omniscient works quite well, as it highlights the shift between authors, and provides new perspective. I enjoyed the movement from Luna's to Ash's mind toward the end of this chapter. Normally I find such transitions jarring, but the intimacy allowed a natural transition. You almost perfectly matched the Ash and Luna in my mind, especially Ash. And Luna was tricky because she's Ascended and should behave a bit different. I liked how you portrayed her new intellectual gift, as something available but perhaps not always 'on' unless she chooses to access it. Please continue. :)
Author's Response:
I'm glad I matched your mental image of Ash and Luna. That's high praise, coming from the original author.
I find writing Luna the hardest, since she should remember the way she treated Ash before, and the way she treats Ash should change -- but not too fast. It's a tough balance. I mostly worry she's changing too fast, so I try to slow it down as much as I can. - Thanks for the feedback!
[Report This]Date: September 21 2015 2:12 PM Title: Good Morning
I liked the 3rd chapter as well, Luna is definitely enjoying herself as an ascended. I feel like it's going to be difficult for her to take her husband seriously and treat him as an equal like she did before now that she's ascended. I get the impression that ascended women have ascended ego's too, if that makes any sense...It comes with the package. Anyway, I too agree with Nostory, this chapter was hard to read in it's current state, the first chapter had the perfect format!
Date: September 21 2015 2:02 PM Title: Good Morning
I support Nostroy's request for more space paragraphs to make easy the reading. However good 1st chapter.
Date: September 21 2015 9:53 AM Title: Lunch with Addison
Sorry could you include more spaces between paragraphs ? A bit difficult to read. Other than that, great chapter! Never knew ascended women had ESP at all but its awesome! Luna is also just about discovering the full extent of her new body. Cannot wait to see more from you.
Author's Response:
Oops. The posting tool ate my paragraphs for ch2/3. Fixed now.
Luna's experience isn't supposed to be ESP, it's just supposed to be vastly heightened focus and intellect.
Date: September 20 2015 7:41 PM Title: Good Morning
I read some of the stories on your website, I think some of them should be released here, they're good enough for that.
Author's Response:
I don't resist posting here because I don't think my stories are good enough. I'm exclusively interested in amazon/minigts stories, and I find the UI here cumbersome to hunt these down and ignore the rest. (I have to use advanced search, and exclude filters, it takes quite some time) I primarily post on Giantess City forums, because there we just use subject tags like "minigts" and I find it easier to pick out the stories I like this way.
I've also had problems here with the story submission forms eating my effort a few times, and that's really annoying and time consuming. It happens because in an incognito window, the login cookie seems to only last ten minutes or so, and when it times out before I submit the form, the site eats my form submission and tells me to login again.
That said, I'm also not opposed to posting more stories here. I'll try to find some time to put more stuff up soon.
Date: September 20 2015 9:23 AM Title: A Day at the Office
Im a big fan of spookys stuff, this series included! As for your writting id say youve matched his style in many ways, I actually thought u were him, no joke. Then I saw the author and realized it was someone else! So far youve captured the characters personalities to the letter too! I can safely say ill be looking forward to updates from this, good luck.
Date: September 20 2015 8:19 AM Title: Good Morning
Great to see this story here, I love what you've written. You should start a series called Ascended with Spooky. Group Luna's Ascension and this under that banner.