Reviewer: combine45 Signed [Report This]
Date: June 30 2015 4:34 PM Title: And There it Was...

Really digging it so far, I kinda hope Vera breaks out just to see what she will do :). The way you've wrote Ellis is very belivable. He is scared to death, but passionate enough not to give up. I'm glad Vera seems to have taken a liking to him, I wonder what she would do with him if she escaped with him.

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: June 28 2015 8:22 PM Title: When the Water Came

I just think that the humans are missing something here, that these giants are humans too but some external force is turning them into giants. Why? Chaos, they have no organisation but are being used to weaken humanity for an invasion. 

Cinna will cause problems because our hero has a good heart, he is unlikely to be cruel to the giants when there is no need to. 

Reviewer: gadgetmawombo Signed [Report This]
Date: June 27 2015 10:05 PM Title: A Game of Questions

Great start and a tense, blood chilling chapter! This idea is also fairly original too, I don't think it's as cliche as you might think, especially the whole: gts/tiny reverse interrogation. Also, Vera is a far more "developed" character than I would have originally thought.

Since I read your summary and the whole: they're not organized etc, I thought these beings were just mindless killing machines, but apparantly thats not the case...Which makes they're killing sprees all the more chilling, these are fully sentient being we're talking about here!

Great story, consider me intrigued!

Author's Response:

Thanks! glad you like the story so far

Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: June 27 2015 7:11 AM Title: And There it Was...

A typical setup is not this story. This story has no people being put in shoes whilst the person whose shoe it is walks. Nor does it have a number of other things in it. I like it so far and I think it’s fairly unique even though Earth invasion stories have been done before. I like much of the description and there are few comments I want to make on this chapter. I’ll try and keep this review short, but I realize that may not be possible.

 

Here: For that, he taught me two things

 

I believe you mean “from that”, i.e. from his experience as a baker.

 

Here: Garst’s Hollow

 

I’m sure if I should comment on this. On the one hand, the reader has no clue what Garst’s Hollow is so to me it doesn’t make sense mention it by name. Conversely this is a personal account and in first person. Just don’t dump too much on the reader without first explaining it.

 

I have mixed feelings about the bakery part of the chapter so perhaps you can fill me in on your reasoning behind it. I like it but at the same time I don’t think that it’s really necessary. It might have been better for the reader to discover more about Ellis’s past, as the story progressed rather than dedicating a large chunk of a chapter explain how his father used to be a baker. Clues about his past will inevitably appear as a natural part of his conversations with other characters in the story. There is no context to it, other than he was lost in his thoughts, and it doesn’t seem to link up (relate) well with the rest of the chapter.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I like what’s there so if it was me I’d have kept it for later.  It just seems out of place because, and maybe I’ve not been paying enough attention, I don’t get how the two things his father said to him are relevant to his current predicament. A person once said to me: “Always delete the first paragraph of the first chapter because it just what you wrote so you could finally have some words on the paper”.

 

Here: I’m not hear just to condemn this woman

 

The word “hear” relates to hearing. You mean to say “here”, as in “over here”.

 

Constable Grim is grim. Nice, fitting, name I would say. He seems like a funny character.

 

Also, what is Aleph (Vera) wearing? I don’t think you really elaborated on this in this chapter. If she’s not wearing anything then you should have said that. Anyhow, introducing her was a nice note to end the chapter on. The story has lots of suspense.

Reviewer: Nostory Signed [Report This]
Date: June 26 2015 6:41 PM Title: And There it Was...

Nicely done here but I can't help but wonder how they even got Vera inside the facility, why doesn't she escape and why Vera? Were these giants once humans?

 

I need to know!

Author's Response:

It'll all be explained soon! All I can say for now is that it takes some tricky maneuvering. So far Vera is one of the only ones because its so damn difficult to do and they chose her simply because she is one of the giants. As I said though it will be explained!

Reviewer: Hank the Boggle Champion Signed [Report This]
Date: June 26 2015 8:55 AM Title: And There it Was...

Keep this story going man, it is legendary already!