Date: November 30 2022 2:09 AM Title: The change
good
[Report This]Date: May 11 2015 7:14 AM Title: The change
This is pretty good!! Bring back that stinky booty though lol!!!
[Report This]Date: May 11 2015 6:02 AM Title: The change
It eoud be nice to see him as and extra tight bra or soack right after the gym scene (if it unfolds more).
[Report This]Date: May 11 2015 5:40 AM Title: The change
Great first chapter. There were a few grammatical errors like the missing punctuation marks at the end of the sentences before the closing quotation marks. Also the sentence "She started chatting with other 3 girls." Should be She started chatting with 3 other girls. Another correction is the sentence that includes "...she put herself a shirt and a tight jeans". It should be ...she put herself in a shirt and tight jeans or she wore a shirt and tight jeans. As fpr spelling there was one mistake. The original sentence says "Stephanie the tacher, asked for silence." You spelt teacher wrong. Besides these errors I loved the flow of the story and your idea is great. I hope you keep writing.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review, english is not my first langauge so please excuse for the grmmatical errors (i am going to correct them), more chapters to come, i accept suggestions :)