[Report This]Date: April 30 2014 4:37 PM Title: Give It a Push, See What Happens.
Just as she's starting to open up...the military has to show up.
I wonder if she's allowed visitors besides her parents when she's under house arrest. That's assuming Ben would want to come back, though, he'd be crazy not to.
Then again, the guys could do her a solid and claim that they came with her of their own free will.
[Report This]Date: April 30 2014 2:09 PM Title: Give It a Push, See What Happens.
Oh, frig! Another cliff-hanger; just when it was getting good.
Date: April 29 2014 11:49 PM Title: Give It a Push, See What Happens.
Its ok guys, they have stockholm sindrome, so you can leave them alone now
[Report This]Date: April 29 2014 7:57 PM Title: Give It a Push, See What Happens.
We'll someone was bound to call the authorities. 50 bucks it's the nurse she's the only other cheracter with any balls in this story. Ironically enough
[Report This]Date: April 29 2014 7:51 PM Title: Give It a Push, See What Happens.
Did you and JTC coordinate your updates to drop these drama bombs on us? This story's seriously great. For a second, I was thinking that Amy's was getting too antagonistic with too little redemptive qualities, but this squashed that thought.
Oddly enough, the only part I thought was weird was the ending. I get that the authorities would eventually get involved, but isn't an army platoon, all wielding RPGs overkill? It's kind of like setting a moldy sandwich on fire, in my opinion. It's doubly weird considering that I love it when reality ensues in a story.
One other thing. For characters who are in nearly every chapter, Mark and Johnny have had little characterization except that they're nerds and they're true friends with Ben. Which isn't bad (Harry Potter's only real personality traits are the same). Maybe a little bit more definition to their characters would be appreciated.
Last thing. I found no spelling mistakes today. Unfortunately, you forgot to capitalize the starting sentence of the paragraph where Amy starts crying. Sloppy work, but you're technically improving. Only a 4.91 today...
Author's Response:
When you think about it it makes sense that the national guard would be called in. Originally it was going to be a seat team but they don't have the firepower necessary to look threatening. The RPG's are mainly going to be for show to keep her in line.
Date: April 29 2014 7:16 PM Title: Give It a Push, See What Happens.
This has to be the best chapter so far!. Great twist at the end with Amy being arrested. Can't wait to see if she'll be bailed out, or if her parents will finally say eniugh's enough... Kinda hoping she does. Was actually looking forward to Amy's story that she was about to tell :)
[Report This]Date: April 29 2014 6:19 PM Title: Give It a Push, See What Happens.
Bad timing is bad.
[Report This]Date: April 29 2014 6:06 PM Title: Give It a Push, See What Happens.
That line: " I'm big and you're not! I'm a freak and you're not! I'm a monster and you're not!"
Brilliant, it shows her true feelings. Deep down, she hates herself for being so big and scary. I guess even though she never wanted to be seen as a monster, she became one because she was seen and treated as one for so long she believed it.
Ben and his friends are nothing short of amazing, willing to forgive her for what she did to them. I guess now that the army has intervened it will be up to Ben to defend her. Quite the role reversal. Also, I need to change a last name in a future story of mine now that I know Amy's last name.
Author's Response:
As always your words are much appreciated.
And they haven't forgiven her yet, that will take time. But they do feel bad for her and want to understand her. Once that happens they'll decide if they forgive her or not.