Date: February 26 2014 8:48 AM Title: Chapter 6
I like the addition of the new tiny. It opens up some possibilities. Now that there are a couple of them, one could actually end up being digested and the story could still continue.
I have a story idea/request, but I don't want to offend you by saying it here. Send me a private message if you're willing to hear it.
Thank you again for the story.
Author's Response: Thank you. I appreciate the review. I'd love to here your idea, but I don't actually know how the messaging works on here.
Date: February 21 2014 4:56 PM Title: Chapter 6
I'm finding this story incredibly hot. I'm still uncertain how Holly can survive more than a few minutes without air in someone's stomach, but I'm also uncertain whether it matters. The fact that Holly enjoys being swallowed (by people she trusts, at least) makes her a girl after my own heart.
Date: February 19 2014 8:57 PM Title: Chapter 6
Wow, another tiny girl, this one even smaller! Quite an interesting development. Can't wait for Linsey to arrive at the school and join the antics. I wonder what her reaction will be to Holly's dangerous lifestyle.
[Report This]Date: February 19 2014 8:24 PM Title: Chapter 6
This story is really good. I am liking how you've introduced a new character to mix things up and this revealed healing power. Although this ability will lower the stakes as it is less likely the girls will be digested it does open new and exciting opportunities. Well done on this =)
Date: February 19 2014 5:43 PM Title: Chapter 6
Holly seems to be starting to enjoy living dangerously. I'm going to guess, based on the first chapter, that this still won't be the end of her yet. I wonder how Linsey would handle knowing that her fellow tiny (if not quite as tiny) girl is starting to like being "play-eaten." Something tells me she won't enjoy it as much herself.
On a technical note, while I can handle most of the minor errors I've seen, one thing that bugs me is your dialogue formatting. It gets a little tricky to follow conversations that are short sentences on the same line. The general rule is: when starting a new subject or someone else begins speaking, make a new paragraph. The lack of indication of who is talking makes it a little tricky sometimes, too. Just my two cents.