Date: September 21 2016 12:13 PM Title: Connection
For a second there you had me fooled with Caitlyn finding Jack! I suppose it could still happen...Anyway, kinda sucks about Jack being friend zoned tho, but it makes sense, he's a tiny, would he be able to protect and provide for someone like Penny? Good stuff, I look forward to more updates!
Author's Response:
*EDIT* I've added a short section at the end of Chapter 21, so it ends slightly differently. Apologies - please check it out.
RE: Ha - I'm glad I almost fooled you, was worried it was waaaay too obvious! Friend-zoning is an unpleasant ordeal at the best of times, let's see how it all pans out.
Date: September 21 2016 12:09 PM Title: Acclimatisation
Awesome! I'm glad this story came back! Right now Jack is a lucky guy no? I guess it's only fair considering what he went through! I still think he should have gone to the police! He's got evidence, the emails, witnesses, and more! Can Caitlyn really get off Scott free with so much proof and considering what she's done? Well whatever. Anyway, I'm glad u came back!
Author's Response:
Caitlin can arguably counter his evidence (it's just some messages he wrote so she could claim it's to smear her), provide her own witnesses and intimidate or disincentivise those Jack would rely upon - it appears to have happened before and she has the resources and connections to make things go away - so it would still be a really difficult and protracted thing. Obviously, if we're really getting into it, they might be able to trace the messages back to her iPad, but let's say there's a way for Caitlin's people to muddy that particular avenue of investigation, and play up the absurdity of the claims based on a previous attempt to defame her character, and with her Father's money greasing the wheels of the machine... it would not be as clear cut as it should be. Obviously I'm no law expert, this is just a story that's hopefully relatively realistic, and from a story point of view, as of right now, it makes no sense to have Jack start litigation against the Reids when he basically doesn't want people to know, and wants to move on with his life and forget it ever happened... OR DOES HE? (He kinda does, it's just very complicated for him, lots of conflicting emotions on the go.)
I also want to foster a sense of injustice about what happened, about her getting away with it, or not, and what Jack himself does within his own means to cope. As soon as I start to involve his parents, the Police, make it into a courtroom drama, all of the intrigue of the GTS parable goes out the window - at least that's how I feel about it. I need to keep the cast and the scenarios small until there's a reason for it to break out, if you know what I'm saying.
[Report This]Date: September 21 2016 7:38 AM Title: Connection
Poor Jack! It's not like he's _intentionally_ viewing Penny as a scapegoat. But, the sad fact is, PTSD still takes a pretty long time to get over.
Author's Response:
*EDIT* I've added a short section at the end of Chapter 21, so it ends slightly differently. Apologies - please check it out.
[Report This]Date: September 20 2016 9:54 PM Title: Acclimatisation
Ah, yes; SOME LIKE IT HOT. The original gender-bender. A laugh-riot with what Leonard Maltin describes (quite accurately, as far as I'm permanently concerned) as the greatest closing line in film history!
FYI: when George Raft snatches away the coin being flipped by Edward G. Robinson, Jr., demanding to know where the latter "learned that cheap trick?" It's an in-joke reference to George Raft's character having the same tendency in the original SCARFACE!!*
*That's right, folks. Al Pacino's version was a loose remake.
Author's Response:
Nobody's perfect.
[Report This]Date: September 20 2016 9:18 PM Title: Acclimatisation
This is getting good. I hope it gets cozy.
Next thing you know, Penny pulls Jack up into her and they cuddle up and she hugs him like a teddy bear. Then she falls asleep with her legs on top of Jack and he can't escape with her legs wrapping him up.
I'm really excited like Jack too because I have felt a similar experience. It started in class when most of the seats are filled up and there is this one seat next to you and a hot girl shows up and takes that seat. Class activity is to talk to the person next to you and we start talking. As the class goes on, she gets more friendlier and playful but I doubt she is interested in a relationship with me and I was too shy to ask her out. I loved being friends with her and I didn't want to jeapordize it by asking her. Soon, we got assignments together and we have to go places. One place, we had to go get food there was one table left with one chair. She tells me to sit down and then she just sits down on my lap afterward. I was so "aware" as Jack put it, but this girl just acted as if it was normal. It's these little things that I love and makes me relate to Jack.
I hope Penny accidentally just sleeps on top of him. I bet Jack would be so aroused and doesn't want to wake Penny up. Even if there is some pain from her weight, he can't deny that he feels great being under Penny. (That's my take.)
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response:
Nice ideas - I like the way you think!
Date: September 20 2016 7:26 PM Title: Acclimatisation
Nice to see a new chapter to this story, one of my favorites. I feel rather sorry for Jack. In a world where he is undersized, and not at all respected. N even Penny seems to truly respect him and does not even notice him as the same age as her.
I do wonder how Jack will be able to have a normal life. Caitlin and Amber is still out there. It would not be hard for Caitlin to kidnap him again if she ever sees him at school or even out in the street.
If Jack does go back to school, he will need to make sure that Caitlin does not catch him alone/
Really nice story and look forward to what happens next.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the feedback!
Date: June 11 2016 6:46 PM Title: Capitulation
Great continuation! I really enjoyed the interactions.
Even though it was not really put into detail and in turn noticeable, I liked that Caitlin kept Jack naked from this scene onwards. It accentuates the "pet" and owner relationship.
Author's Response:
Indeed - earlier on, the nudity is accentuated as Jack feels exposed and humiliated - as he gets wearier and further away from normality, the fact that he is naked becomes the least of his worries and isn't mentioned as prominently. It definitely reinforces the pet/owner dynamic, I tend to think that in this scenario, the giantess being clothed represents power disparity/control, and the stripped Beta exaggerates vulnerability and powerlessness.
Date: May 21 2016 5:46 PM Title: Introduction
This story is on its way to being one of the best on this site. You've managed to balance the fetish content with the dramatic content so well that the two - which are normally at odds - actually compliment each other, building the narrative into something greater than the sum of its parts.
This combination of smut and plot often feels dissonant or forced, but I think the reason it works so well in GH-X2 is because you've crafted a world and characters that are exceedingly human and believable.
The fact that the hormone only works on children and the relatively slight size difference it creates make the setting and size interactions feel like something that could actually happen in the real world. And yet the impact of the size difference is not reduced in any way. At 2x scale it is hardly difficult for Alphas and Betas to coexist logistically, but the physical power an Alpha holds over a Beta person is no less absolute than it would be if the Alphas were 5x or 10x larger.
With a believable setting it becomes much easier to write interesting, believable characters.
Let's start with Jack: he is an author/audience proxy character, nondescript white male, in high school, etc, etc. Very common in size fiction (and honestly in genre fiction in general). He also has a size fetish himself, which in most stories is an inexplicable (but very convenient) idiosyncracy - the character only has it because its important to the author/audience fantasy that he does. Even other "serious" size stories fall into this trap sometimes (looking at you, Titan). But in Jack's case it makes sense he should be attracted to the giants. The size difference is only 2x, and all the girls his age are that size. They're all big and impossibly beautiful, and on top of that mostly unconcerned with his existence through no fault of his own. That would mess up any teenaged boy's sexual development.
Caitlin is a young woman with serious misconceptions about love and trust, who likely has low self-esteem despite her outward success and privledge. Acting out her fantasies on someone small and helpless like Jack seems reasonable. In our world she'd just find weak-willed male orbiter to domineer, but GH-X2 turned them all into manly paragons who would never bow to a strong woman, so she turns to a Beta like Jack to make herself feel powerful. The most recent chapters reveal that despite Caitlin's capacity for cruelty, once her desire for gratification is sated she's actually a normal (vulnerable, even) girl.
Amber is a natural sadist. She probably enjoys hurting animals too, but torturing a Beta is both more fun and more socially acceptable.
Hannah is ditzy and childish. In the world of GH-X2 Jack is a rare anomaly, and so she's probably never been taught how to treat a Beta respectfully. As a result she treats him like a pet, because that's what makes sense to her intuitively, and is in line with what she's seen from people like Caitlin.
Alex has got more of a brain on her shoulders, and is probably the most interesting character in the story so far, because she's the closest to a normal person - an outsider to the standard interactions of the size fetish that all the other girls fall into to some degree.
She's obviously more than capable of empathizing with Jack, but she rarely shows it because she's a more guarded, reserved person and being super nice to Jack (like, say, Penny) would be out of line with the normal tomboy persona she wears. She probably thinks of her treatment of Jack at school as being like a dickish older sibling. She's mean to Jack, but would never think of seriously hurting him. There's clearly a line for her that just shouldn't be crossed. Jack obviously doesn't see it this way, though, and I don't think Alex really understood his perspective (and just how vulnerable he is) until she saw how the other girls treated him at the pool.
For example, when she broke his pen in class she probably didn't think it was a big deal. He was ogling her, and after all, it's just a pen. She doesn't know that it was his only pen and that Beta sized pens are actually very expensive. Just as she didn't know what Caitlin and Amber were capable of doing to him in the privacy of a home.
I'm very interested to see how she treats him at school now that she's seen what he goes through and has taken a huge risk in saving him. I would expect her "public" actions to maintain the same tone, but lessened, while in private she will likely apologize to him and assure him that if he really needs help then she'll have his back.
Finally we have Penny, the willowy brown-haired sweetheart who has become Jack's saviour and confidant. She natually has a kind and gentle demeanor, but her past experiences - both with Jack and with her own growth - have made her particularly sensitive of Jack's unique plight. She's aware of his personal space, how intimidating her size is, and how easy it is to be condescending or dismissive of a smaller person. Many gentle giantess characters are written this way, with a intuitive knowledge of how to treat a tiny person, but rarely have I seen as a compelling an explanation for it.
Other say that its impossible for Jack to live a happy life unless he finds some way to grow. I think that Jack's biggest enemy is actually himself. While his size puts him at a disadvantage, it's not so great that with some self-esteem and talent he couldn't land a job and get a girl. The reason normal girls like Alex and Hannah treat him like crap is because he acts so weak and scared. The problem is that girls like Caitlin and Amber give he very good reasons to fear and doubt himself.
Ironically, if Caitlin could handle treating Jack with respect I think they'd be an awesome couple. She just needs to learn to keep the kinky stuff in the bedroom. Maybe she will. I fear she can't.
Author's Response:
Hard to put this into words, really - I may never get a review this good for anything I do ever again.
At the best of times, I find it hard to accept that people are able to write such intelligent, incredibly profound stuff about a wish fulfillment story I've been faffing about with in my spare time. From the bottom of my heart - thank you - you may not realise how much it means to me to read feedback like this.
Onto what you've written - you've basically summed up what I'm trying to do better than I have myself. Barring a few minor discrepancies that I haven't clarified yet as I haven't explored them fully, you're spot on about the characters, and your thoughts mirror my own. There are a few things I would like to clarify:
i) Totes agree with the non-descript white male protagonist thing - apologies in advance for contributing to the least original trope in western literature. It's me, basically. If I wasn't a non-descript white male, I wouldn't have written Jack as one - it helped me put myself into his position enormously. (Honestly, I did very strongly consider writing someone completely different to myself in the role for this very reason, but in the end, decided to just be honest to myself.)
ii) Not *EVERY* Alpha male is a macho studmuffin (though it seems like most are, in Jack's eyes) - GH-X2 doubles predicted height, and increases metabolism and athleticism, but a naturally short, thin boy will grow into a comparatively short, lean and wiry Alpha man. It's not explicitly explained, but Caitlin has bored of Alpha men who do not match up to her (she's a comparative 6' 7" and very powerful) and it seems like she has gone for a more extreme size differential mainly for kicks.
iii) Torturing a Beta isn't more socially acceptable than hurting an animal, but bullying Betas is relatively widespread and not taken as seriously as it should be. You could argue that abusing a Beta is fun for Amber because her victim can communicate that humiliation back to her in a way she understands, whereas an animal cannot.
iv) Jack is in many ways his own worst enemy, but not in all. His fears and hang-ups are largely justified, and even if he tries to be brave, things inevitably backfire - he needs a lucky break a lot more than he needs to grow a pair. Growing a pair arguably ended up getting him into more trouble, actually... Alex and Hannnah do not treat him like crap because he's weak, they treat him like a little kid because to them he's less than 3 feet tall and would fall over if they blew on him too hard.
v) Caitlin is Jack's dream lay. Mine too. But it's not all about that - and that's what the story will continue to explore.
[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 7:05 PM Title: Introduction
Have you thought of the ultimate goal of this story? So far this story is about Jack's struggles with living in a world too big for him without any hope of finding a special someone. Jack even said so in the beginning that the girls, who are all Alpha, want nothing to do with a beta like him. And I don't blame him for feeling this way. Most high school relationships are formed by three main factors. Money/power which is something that Jack doesn't have. Looks which Jack can not compete in because Alphas are naturally fit without effort, can easily be overpowered with one hand, and girls want guys bigger than they are. And finally charisma which Jack doesn't have because he is alienated from everyone because of his size.
Given the setting I don't think moving is an option at all. The main two reasons is because you are getting rid everybody but Jack, and this is a GTS website so a story about awkward guy interacting with normal girls would do well on here.
His only option for a healthy relationship is Penny, but we've seen that she now has a fairly normal school life so her dating options are far more open than Jack's.
So now we come to back to the beginning of this post. Will Jack find the girl that likes him for who he is and would date him not because of pity. Is it possible for him to satisfy this girl despite the size difference. Is there anything that Jack can do, or event that will happen that will increase the amount of respect that he gets from other students so that he isn't ignored or abused.
Or is this a story of a kid that doesn't have any hope of fitting in and is doomed to be tormented by girls with no justice for him? Hopefully we can learn these answers one day.
On a more lighter note, since we know that Penny is a collector of Beta sized things will Jack find out if Penny has a Beta sized toy or does she have a monstrous dildo like Caitlin. Just some food for thought.
Author's Response:
There isn't really an ultimate goal with this story, to be honest, which sounds lazy, but more accurately reflects the fact that I haven't decided how it will end yet. I have a number of ideas I'm working on that I intend to bring into this story in a way that adds to this world, and allows Jack to form more of an opinion about what his life should be about. I'm also not thinking in terms of good or bad endings either, my preferred ending would be bittersweet, much like the closure people tend to get in real life. I don't how much of it will be bitter, and how much of it will be sweet, but he will not ride off into the sunset, nor will he end up 6 feet under.
The money/power, looks, charisma thing you've mentioned for high school relationships is, I suspect, oversimplified because it's high school, as there are countless reasons why people of any age fall into a relationship; things like geography, convenience, loneliness, companionship etc. To put it another way, Jack would look at those three things, and think he had no chance of ever getting with an Alpha girl, ever. If he is able to have more varied and fulfilling life experiences than just staying indoors wishing the world had stayed still, he'll begin to realise that those things aren't everything, and not every girl, Alpha or otherwise, is looking for that in a partner. He might get rejected by a Beta girl because she doesn't share any of his interests, and he might even have an Alpha admirer who thinks he is too cute and is, ironically, too shy to let him know. But, the crucial thing is, he doesn't know anything, he's too scared to engage, and that's kinda what this is about.
Penny is an option for a healthy relationship, yes, but it's more important to note that she's the first Alpha to truly be nice to him, which shatters the preconception he carried that all Alpha girls don't give a shit about Beta boys. Alex too, has shown enough to merit a rethink on even the Alpha girls who have treated him like shit - and that maybe, this is more about it being high school, and shallow, and shit and unfair for the kids at the bottom, but it will get better. At the same time, he's also learnt that some Alphas, like Caitlin and Amber, can be monstrous, and wield their comparative power to devestating effect. These are all major extremes that he has never experienced before, and they are challenging his preconceptions at both ends of the scale. Some of this information is good, and comforting, and optimistic, some of it is fucking terrifying and makes him fear for his safety - very... bittersweet.
[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 12:36 PM Title: Introduction
There is a lot of things that I want to talk about when it comes to this story, but so little time and battery life.
The first is that I think I figured out the meaning of the title.
GH-X2 = Growth Hormone Times 2. In other words it's a hormone that basically doubles a person's height, and x8 their volume. This is what I believe the title is but I might be wrong.
The next thing that I want to hit on is how unique this story is when it comes to the size portion. The thing that makes this unique compared to 95% of other stories is the fact that Jack could have been big. Everyone used to be his size but quickly outgrew and left him behind. Most stories the person is magically/scientifically shrunk or grown, they were born that way, or the entire male species is just small. Jack's predicament really hits that spot because of how lonely he is. Before penny he only has one close friend. Again I think that it's just really unique the way that you've done the size dynamic.
This should probably be posted last but I'll go ahead and do it now. The way that this universe is set up there doesn't seem to be a 'total' happy ending for Jack. Yeah he could get a girl friend whether it be penny, Caitlin, or some other girl but this doesn't solve the problems that he has to face in a world not built for him. I'm sure that you have something in mind, but the way it seems to me is that the only prefect ending for Jack is if they made DGH-X1.8 (Delayed Growth Hormone Times 1.8). This way he is still short but has a chance in this world. I know that sounds crazy coming from someone with this fetish, but I want the protagonist to find a way to fit in by getting bigger.
I usually place stories I read into two categories, good and bad. Bad stories are the ones where there is no hope for the protagonist, bad stuff happens all the time, and the end result is death, enslavement, humiliation, etc.
Hopefully I got this story right because I put it in the good category. Basically any story with gentle components that ends on a good note. So hopefully this will have a happy ending.
The thing that I can't wait for, when you pick this back up, is for Jack's return to school. Has Caitlin traumatized him on a subconscious level? Will he act differently around Alphas? Does he have some sort of coping mechanism to get thru this? I also see a very bad event about to happen with Jack once he returns to school. My guess is that she is going to corner him and try to force out who helped him escape from her house. Hopefully Jack can hold out enough so as to keep both Penny and Ashley save from Caitlin's rage.
I'll probably post more when I think of it.
Author's Response:
You are correct, that's exactly what GH-X2 stands for. I heavily borrowed the idea, and the designation style itself, from the story 'Classic Guys' by SpawnGTS. In his universe, the hormone is refined over the years from GH-2I (+ 2 inches) to GH-36I (+ 36 inches i.e. 3 feet) - so his 'Idols' are 3 feet taller than they would ordinarily be. In my universe, GH-X2 has become a long-established standard treatment in the first world, it's a one size fits all solution that is practically 100% safe. A few rare people respond too little, or too much (Penny) to the hormone, and exceptionally wealthy parents can opt for experimental treatment (Caitlin) that claims to increase the ratio further, was well as increasing muscle, greater beauty, etc, but often with unwelcome side-effects. I've gone with an X2 ratio as it's arguably my simplest and most favourite giantess scale, and it's so easy to explain. I'm also pretty anally-retentive, so I prefer the idea that it's a growth ratio, and not an additional no. of inches like in 'Classic Guys', a ratio preserves the proportions between tall and short Alphas exactly as with normal humans.
I definitely agree about the loneliness - this story can feel pretty bleak for Jack. In fact, even without the Alpha Beta stuff, I think a number of people in that position aren't sure what their future holds, or feel like they are no good at anything. The events in the story will shape how he feels about life and the future enormously; is he out-of-scale so much that it's hopeless, or is there hope for him, with the right people, and the right opportunities? Is he unable to have a romantic relationship with any Alpha girls, will he move away to find a Beta girl, etc.
Regarding any kind of post-pubescent growth hormone to give him a few more inches - not a chance. You opt-in when your kid is 6 years old and allow the state to grow him or her up to the Alpha scale, or you opt-out and they remain at the Beta scale - which is becoming much rarer after reaching a turning point maybe a generation or so back. Obviously almost everyone sees th e GH-X2 decision as a no-brainer, but there will always be those who do not go along with it for whatever reason. There are a handful of palpable benefits to being Betas, some specialised skills and jobs are Beta only, and the ability to visit and get jobs in the rest of the world very easily is a plus if you feel adventurous, but if you think your kid might have a chance of being sporty, or anything other than an artistic or scientific genius, then you're gonna have to say yes to GH-X2.
The biggest question of all, is not when he returns to school, it's if.
If you have any more thoughts, please please write them here, I'd love to read through them.
[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 5:42 AM Title: Conniption
Well, if it's seriousness you want, I'll do my best.
These last three chapters have truly been a turning point. What was initially a very detailed masturbatory fantasy with some elements of morbid comedy has become suitably dramatic. Especially, with regard to Jack's PTSD in chapters 18 and 19. And Caitlin's light switch-like alternation between compassionate lucidity and full-fledged sociopathic hostility.
Makes me wonder how much of this tendency is a side-effect of the titular chemical and how much is congenital.
Author's Response:
Awesome, thank you! Can't get enough of this feedback - you're all amazing!
Totally spot-on about the masturbatory fantasy - Caitlin is the physical embodiment of that. She's the thing that inhabits every macrophile's dreams, but could easily become a nightmare if pushed to a logical conclusion. As I've mentioned, that's exactly what she means to me, I know nobody anything like Caitlin in real life, and if I did, I'd be utterly conflicted about her. Fantasy is safe, reality isn't - that's what I'm exploring with her - Jack's fantasy versus reality - my own fantasy versus reality.
Caitlin's light-switch stuff is a way of creating conflicting feelings within Jack. If she was just 100% evil and, let's say, straight-up broke his legs, used him to pleasure her, then stuffed him in a cage and kept him as a pet, 1 - I'd write myself into a big corner, 2 - there would be no intrigue at all, she's evil - tick, 3 - he would, in my opinion, lose all latent feelings of attraction towards her very quickly, so instead of retaining the occasional feeling of 'if only she wasn't so cruel' around her, it would be more 'I would rather be dead than suffer any more'. In terms of an explanation as to why she's like that, other than because I've written her like that for selfish, living-out-your-fucked-up-fantasy reasons, there are a few factors which may come to light in future chapters, and nature, nurture, her wealthy father and experimental GH-X2 will all feature prominently.
Date: May 20 2016 4:30 AM Title: Revelation
I didn't saw the chiildhood backstory, it's well done. Thanks for these latest chapters. Enjoy your well deserved break. I hope to read u again soon.
Author's Response:
I take it you're saying you didn't see the childhood backstory coming? I hope that made it all the more interesting, anyway. Thank you, I will try and recharge my batteries now!
[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 2:02 AM Title: Revelation
Well done.
Author's Response:
Spanks.
[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 12:50 AM Title: Revelation
As I've said, as hard a job as it is you are certainly capable of being a published writer. I shall await the next installments with great anticipation. In the meantime, take care of yourself and be well.
~Johnny
[Report This]Date: May 20 2016 12:47 AM Title: Introduction
I think your story is coming along incredibly well. As I've said before each chapter (even the happier ones) leaves me on edge, ever and forever wanting to know what will happen next. You are a writer of unbelievably high magnitude and don’t ever try to convince yourself otherwise. You certainly have what it takes to be a published writer as well, of that I am sure. I’ll be looking forward to your next installments very much so.
~Johnny
Author's Response:
Thank you so much! I've tried to make each chapter long enough so that something actually changes, whether it's moving the plot forward, or learning something about one of the characters, or even just a bit of exposition so you know how people are feeling. It can be hard to find convenient places to break from the story, as it's not designed to flow as a load of chapters, I'm trying to write it as if 'real' even though, obviously, I have control over it and no the other way round (oh yeah, I forgot)!
Deffo don't have what it takes to be a published writer! One word - deadlines! But thank you, it's high praise; I like to think I'm good at what I'm trying to do with this. If I ever get the opportunity to do anything that realises this type of story in film or animation, or whatever, I will carry over this approach into it and try and do it justice, just as I have done with every other bit of giantess content I've produced.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 11:30 PM Title: Revelation
This chapter has hit me in the feels so hard. The fact that he was one happy and had a lot of friends only to lose it all was really depressing. Because of his parents stupid choice Jack has lived through a terrible school life. It hurts to know that even if Jack gets the girl his situation doesn't get any better.
Don't get me wrong, this is an amazing story but I don't remember ever being effected this much by just a few paragraphs in a story. I guess that's just a testament of how powerful the writing is.
I don't see what Jack has to offer Penny other than Nostalgia but hopefully they will both be happy.
ICan't wait for this story to continue one day.
Author's Response:
I love finding out what people think about my work, it's super flattering and a complete privilege. I do not write this for the feedback (there are much more cathartic reasons), but I adore getting it, and even though I know I'm really lucky to get a good number of reviews already I always crave MOAR, a bit like you guys would like MOAR of this story, and regrettably I can rarely provide it.
But yeah, this review, I saw it last night at silly 'o' clock and it made my heart swell with pride. I'm not gonna get all corny about it and say that this makes the effort I put into the story worthwhile, and all that sort of mush, but honestly, getting a review where someone has made a connection with something you've written and really 'got' what you were trying to get across - it's an awesome feeling.
As a more direct response to what you've put, lancealot501, it's entirely a matter of opinion whether his parents made a stupid choice, or a moral one done for the right reasons at the time. His folks are Betas, they appear to be relatively happy, why shouldn't their son be too? Perhaps it's a case of the world having moved on since they were young, and they were naive about how readily a Beta boy would be accepted in a country where nowadays almost everyone young is going to become an Alpha.
Also, Jack and Penny are not an item or anything. She's doing the right thing because she's a good person. He's a bit of a passenger at the moment, relying on Delon and two Alpha girls he barely knows to help him out of a horrible situation. He clearly has feelings for her, because she's the first Alpha to be so kind to him and it's overwhelming for him emotionally, but her feelings are harder to read.
Date: May 19 2016 8:11 PM Title: Introduction
I'm sad you're taking a break but I understand, given you did upload at least 4 chapters during this past week or so.
I didn't expect Penny to be Poppy from Jack's childhood, that was a twist out of nowhere! Its cool to see that she knew him and they got reunited years later. I guess that explains how uncomfortable she was in his house, it reminded her of it.
Surprised she was keen to give more credit to Alex although I worry for her now because Caitlin will beat her. Be back soon!
Author's Response:
I'm super thrilled that you remembered the uncomfortableness from Chapter 3, I put in that seed SO early on, knowing that eventually it would make sense.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 7:05 PM Title: Revelation
Double-whoa!!!!!
Author's Response:
Thanks x2 !
Seriously though, if you do have more feedback I'd love to hear it. The story's taken a big step.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 6:50 PM Title: Introduction
Take all the time you need, it's a great point to stop on and it's not a cliiffhanger (that probably would've irked some readers). This last chapter added a lot more context to why Penny is so nice to Jack (of course in general she's been made to be a much more compassionate character).
Now there's a whole lot of interest in the future to how Caitlin is going to react to Jack's departure. More importantly when she'll realize the huge part Alex played in orchestrating it.
Speaking of Alex she's really soaring as one of my favorite characters, mainly since I like seeing heel-face turns in story-telling. Even if she overall is very indifferent and apathetic to betas the fact that she has the strongest moral compass in Caitlin's possee really sets her apart from being another one of her 'stooges' as Jack put it. It speaks hugely when even she was appauled at the levels of cruelty Jack was being subjected to and knew he likely wouldn't escape on his own. I'm guessing she'll try to keep her front of indifference to keep suspicion off of her.
Author's Response:
Penny's a very wholesome character, in fact, it's hard not to see her as almost artificially kind, like something's being covered up, or not quite right. I don't like one-dimensional characters, though it's not like I'd want Penny to be in any way cruel or mean just to avoid being too 'nice', so from the very beginning I tried to plant the seeds of her having a difficult history that explained how timid and shy, and kind, she was. In the 'revelation', you begin to see that she was quite a bold, headstrong child, but her experiences due to GH-X2 actually undid all of that, turning her into a cautious, conscientious, introspective character - which I think is a realistic and sympathetic way to explain why she has such a kind soul. Jack as well, through his flashbacks, can be seen as someone with quite a strong moral compass, and a running sequence of injustices running through his life ever since GH relegated him to the second tier of society. It's not about having, or not having the treatment - Penny would perhaps have been happier without it, Jack would perhaps have been happier with it, but it's now what they make of their situation that counts.
The decision to make Alex into a bit of an antihero(ine) was actually a kind of forced-hand thing that to happen simply to get rid of the stalemate at Caitlin's house. It never came out of the blue, however; I'd toyed with an early plotline where she would take pity on Jack because he could not get in touch with Penny yet, before the kidnapping plotline was implemented. I agree that it's a very interested development, she's an inside woman, and when the story returns to that side of things in due course, a fuller picture will emerge of what Alex has had to do.
[Report This]Date: May 19 2016 5:38 PM Title: Revelation
Wow, these past two chapters have seriously spiced up this story! I'm so glad that Jack is finally out of there, I almost wish we had a chapter JUST to see the expression on Caitlin's face! And this bit of backstory is great, I'm glad there's something more to Penny and Jack's relationship. Great stuff, it really sucks that's you're going into hiatus, I'm gonna miss this story!
Author's Response:
Thank you! I did feel like I was stringing things along with the Caitlin narrative a little bit (but that's actually what would happen, and I'm a slave to realism); it was just waiting for the opportunity to shake things up, and I wanted to do it as a kind of twist. The 'revelation' in the last chapter too, was hopefully an unexpected surprise, as there were only a couple of hints, if that, in the story that anything like that would happen.
The story is written from Jack's perspective entirely, so I'm sorry, you will not get to be a fly on the wall for Caitlin's reaction! Take it from me, though, she's not a happy camper.