Date: September 21 2013 7:59 PM Title: Consolation
I really like the background setting for this story. Curious as to what road you'll take with the interaction between Jack and Penny. Also wondering if you'll be adding more in-depth characters among the Alphas - whether they are kind or mean-spirited. Overall, this story is very intriguing and I look forward to more soon.
Author's Response:
I've tried to set the scene to show that the Alphas don't really interact with the Betas on the same level - they view them as second-class citizens with little to offer. Like in life, there are a few more tolerant and sympathetic Alphas but they won't be too public about it, as they themselves will become ostracised from mainstream Alpha society.
Take it as a given that pretty much every Alpha either ignores or bullies people like Jack, so mean-spirited is the norm.
Date: September 20 2013 11:55 PM Title: Consolation
Been meaning to say this since it was posted. Great stuff, really like the world.
[Report This]Date: September 15 2013 11:03 AM Title: Consolation
Oh that gets interresting I can feel that :)
Date: September 13 2013 1:31 PM Title: Consolation
That was nice. I wonder if Penny will become his bodyguard. I can see their relationship blossoming.
[Report This]Date: September 13 2013 7:52 AM Title: Consolation
You really should separate the character dialogue from the narrative text, a whole lot more! I say that as someone who was initially--and quite frequently--guilty of it, himself. Aside from that, this is a masterfully poignant story. :-)
Author's Response:
Done.
Date: September 12 2013 10:37 PM Title: Consolation
Good start I would say, carry on. Characters are well written so far. Hope to see further development between Penny and Jack.
Date: September 12 2013 9:50 PM Title: Consolation
Really like this story and the length of it is perfect.
Thing between Jack and Penny are getting more interesting.