Date: October 05 2014 11:19 AM Title: Last Friday
Loved it.
[Report This]Date: July 01 2013 8:11 PM Title: Last Friday
Okay, this was the EXACT opposite of last chapter, yeah he has every right to be angry but hes taking it too far. I think this story could use a little more subtlety, its seems like characters jump from one end of the spectrum to the other in rapid burts, and it makes things seem unrealistic in my opinion. This is still a good story and I can tell your improving even from the first chapter to now...But you still need some work, especially when writting convincing characters. Good work overall though, just my nitpicking :).
Author's Response:
Trust me, I'm going somewhere with this.
Date: June 30 2013 10:45 PM Title: Last Friday
Re-read it, much better dude!
Date: June 27 2013 8:01 PM Title: Last Friday
Listen to Cat, he's a good author and is slowly moving his way up. If you listen to anyone's advice, listen to his.
So MY advice. Really feel your characters. Write out a conversation, read it, speak it to yourself out loud. If it sounds good, rewrite it to sound better. Rewrite until it looks perfect. That was what I WASN'T doing when I first started, and what I still really need to do all the time.
Still, here's my advice!
Author's Response:
Thanks Dude, "Matter of Trust" is seriously one of my more favorite stories so to have you critique my work here is an honour. I definitely tried to take your advice while writing Ch. 6.
Date: June 26 2013 9:42 PM Title: Last Friday
Seeking advice? Here's some! Write your story (or just a chapter). have someone read it. Then rewrite it. Get Someone else to read it. Then rewrite it again!
Then post it.
But what you have is pretty good anyway.
Author's Response:
See I would totally follow your advice here but... it's really hard to find anyone in the "normal" world who doesn't find this material a tad unbearable.