Date: May 19 2022 5:28 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
What has happened in the prelast to last chapter? Kaley was small and nearly dead and in 2 sentences it's like nothing has happened.
Author's Response:
Looks like you’re asking about chapter 23? Most of it is a flashback to events earlier in the week. The last few sentences are a direct continuation of chapter 22.
Date: January 27 2022 1:10 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Thank you for responding so quickly. I have translated it and also introduced some personal modifications especially in chapter 16 .... Apparently you had a great time with my huge pussy. And my juice...did it taste good? ...you know about my period...Erin's voice came over him. Her elbows held the hem of her dress as she looked at him, her face as amused as it was excited.
- Why don't you stay with me? I'll take care of you...You'll spend a lot of time with my pussy. You can stroke her and drink her juice every day. My panties will be your home...or your mansion. You will live there like a nobleman...
- Think about it carefully. Now let me clean you up a little.
I think ending Erin's virginity was a little too violent. This is not a criticism but just a point of view. Otherwise I left the rest as is.
I encourage you to continue and for my part I will see how I will translate the rest because English is not my language. Thanks
Author's Response:
I only ask that you acknowledge any modifications you make that are different from my original text, thanks!
Date: July 23 2018 10:48 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Commended
Author's Response: Thanks!
[Report This]Date: July 29 2016 8:32 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
This is a pretty solid, well-written story. I'm rather surprised that it hasn't recieved any reviews since April, particularly since I seem to recall seeing it on the Most Recent page between then and now.
I have only one question: What ever became of the blonde girl from Chapter 7? Has her part of the story been written out of the narrative, did she come and go in a way that I didn't notice, or is her arc still in the making?
Author's Response: Thanks! Actually the last time that I updated was back in April, though the review wasn't for that chapter. I appreciate the kind words, it's nice to know that someone is enjoying it. I like to think that the read count is indicative of its popularity since there aren't many reviews.
The blonde was meant to be her sister, Brie, but I'm aware that some of my storytelling is muddled. I'm actually kind of proud of the last chapter, though. :-) Thanks for reading.
Date: May 03 2015 10:38 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Erin is scary but then our main boy and girl did have sex on her . Not sure if it justifies anything plus I don't like it when a third party discovers the tiny man. No good will come out of it.
Author's Response: Yeah, Erin has been a lot of fun to write, especially because I never really intended to make her such a... large part of the story. Thanks for giving me another chance to respond.
Date: February 19 2015 4:14 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Would love to see more of this one. Had great premise and left off on such a cliffhanger.
Author's Response: Thanks for your interest! I have another chapter mostly ready to go but it's just not gelling the way I'd like it to, and I've finally come up with a way to finish up this three chapter arc. All I need now is some time to write. :-) But knowing there are people out there waiting does mean a lot. I'll do my best to get some more out to you. Thanks again!
[Report This]Date: July 23 2014 11:21 AM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Glad to see a new chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks! Nice to know someone is reading. :-)
[Report This]Date: June 09 2014 6:24 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Certainly hope you plan to continue this one. I really enjoy it.
Author's Response: Been too busy lately to write, but I hope you enjoy the newest chapter. :-) Thanks for commenting.
Date: May 09 2014 8:48 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Oh, well if you're thinking that you may include it, then by all means, leave it in. I guess the read count is an indication that most people just don't care, or they actually prefer it.
As for the 'feet' tag...
So many guys are into that for some reason. I really can't understand it, but hey, I'm into women that are 13 times my size(usually a shrinking preferance of 4-5 inches). So I can't really judge.
If you felt so inclined, you could write a short foot scene, just to expand on the diversity of the story. Perhaps some unaware scene with Alicia. I don't think she'd willingly play with Steve, considering what I've seen of her so far. Her thoughts seemed a little too pure.
Ok, my next review will be of the 16th chapter. Promise. Can't let this become like the Titan stories where the reviews are flooded with conversations and debates. ;-)
Author's Response: Haha, as long as the conversations aren't starred I don't mind too much, but there's also something to be said for keeping the review count honest. Either way, I do enjoy your feedback. It helps give me some direction when I'm stuck on a plot point. To be honest, I'm not super into feet either and don't usually like stories that focus on them, but I do really enjoy well written chapters that feature them (no pun intended). And I don't know where you got your crystal ball from, but I want it. ;-)
Date: May 09 2014 2:24 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Perhaps it would be best to remove the aforementioned tag then. It definitely turns some people away from the story. Now that I think about it... A threesome between two sisters and some random guy isn't considered such, right? I hope not, or that'd totally ruin the fantasy for me.
I think that when I found this story I basically just searched for insertion and checked out all of the ones that looked interesting. Not for the smut, mind you. It was purely for the interesting characters and storylines. :-D
Author's Response: You think so? I was afraid of losing readers if I were to drop that story arc on them when it finally does arrive. But being fifteen chapters in without it does mean that anyone looking for it or avoiding it might be disappointed. Hmm. I'll give it some thought. If I do remove it I will probably remove the "feet" tag too since I haven't written that yet either. Thanks for your insightful feedback. And I, too, may have occasionally searched the "insertion" tag for, ahem, research purposes.
Date: May 08 2014 6:11 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Crap, I messed up on a response and accidentally deleted the whole comment. Sorry! :-( Anyway, here's how I responded originally: Author's Response: Thanks for the read/word count compliment, I am pretty proud that it's being read as much as it is, even if nearly everyone is too busy to type one handed and leave a review. And first rule of the incest tag is that we don't talk about the incest tag. ;-) It was an idea I had early on when I was still just trying to convince myself to write the story. I only put it in because it would then force me to actually write that part out and not just abandon the idea because it's a little out of my usual comfort zone. Originally I'd already planned to be on that part of the story, but things took a far more interesting turn. Thanks so much for commenting.
[Report This]Date: March 31 2014 5:21 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
Amazing chapter. More like this, please! :D :D
Author's Response: Do you mean this most recent chapter or the one your comment is linked to? It's interesting because I think they're actually kind of similar in the way the story is written with overlapping narratives. I tried to shy away from it after the first chapter because it seemed cheap. But they do seem to turn out alright when I write them, so who knows? Glad you're enjoying it.
[Report This]Date: March 27 2014 8:08 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
I really love this story. The dream sequences are just incredible. It's definitely in my top 5.
I just wish the wait wasn't so long, but every time I check out a new chapter I know it's been worth it.
Author's Response:
Thanks for your kind words! I hope you enjoy the latest installment.
[Report This]Date: January 13 2014 6:05 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
I am glad I brought you back to writing (; you have quite the talent it would be a shame to let that go to waste.
[Report This]Date: May 21 2013 3:08 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
This is a cool story you've put together. You've got a knack for descriptions -- I can visualize everything really well -- and in a genre like this, that's a huge part of the battle. I also have to commend you on the amount of emphasis you've put on the shrinking aspect of the story. That is to say, I really think that less is more in these situations. Getting into the mechanics and nitty gritty of how someone shrunk and how or why it works usually takes the reader out of the fantasy, and I think you've put in the appropriate amount of rationalizing into it here. Also, I'm intrigued by the dream sequences -- that part of the story seems to depart abruptly from the initial premise, and I'm interested to see how you tie it back together. From what I can gather, Steve has some sort of double life, but how they connect is obviously still a mystery. I'm excited to see how that resolves.
If I had to make a criticism, it would be just to echo what Jacksmith said in his review. As of the fifth chapter, both Kelsey and Steve are somewhat one-dimensional (although the shaving sequence with Kelsey revealed more about Steve -- in a weirdly oblique way that I'm not sure how to process). While you did start out with a fantastic bang, and the action has been pleasantly humming ever since, at 10,000+ words in I still don't know either character that well. Yes it's true that Steve has some sort of amnesia, and also with all that action it would be tough to have a lot of character exposition, but I'm still curious to know their backgrounds. Kelsey's interaction with her sister was a great start, however, and I hope to learn more about all three of them in the next chapter.
Overall, thanks for the unique and enjoyable read.
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to write such a great response. Originally this was really just supposed to be a purely smutty story, but as it's developed I've found that the characters are demanding more. I've taken notes and mapped out the story through the next several chapters. Hopefully rolling out more exposition at this point will look more like a deliberate storytelling devce and less like an accidental way to slowly tell a story. I appreciate you sticking with it so far and appreciate any more comments you might have.
[Report This]Date: May 07 2013 10:59 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
I wish a wish tonight...
Good story. Yes, I recognize the genre.
As you indicated in your introduction, you have an opportunity to put a new twist on this common story line.
Please continue...
Author's Response:
I definitely will. Thanks for your kind words.
[Report This]Date: May 07 2013 3:25 PM Title: Chapter 1 - Awakenings
A very good start. So nice to see a well-written story where the words and punctuation do not detract from tghe reading. So looking forward to seeing what Kelsy will do with her new birthday gift.
You go!
carnaj
Author's Response:
Thank you!