Reviewer: Stubbornstain Signed [Report This]
Date: September 08 2011 3:38 PM Title: Chapter 1

I think I remember reading the original. This is a big improvement. It could have been expeand more to avoid big time skips though. Plus there is a huge paragraph near to the end which I found quite daunting.

Also I noticed this:  he quickly got hard. r32;She then giggled

Author's Response:

First things first, Thank you.

Basically, nothing different happens in the time skips, so i would've just been repeating myself.

I've taken your advice and broken up that paragraph a bit.

Finally, i have no idea where any of the 'r32;'s came from, but i have deleted them.