Date: March 29 2012 8:27 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Not the ending I was hoping for but an epic story none the less. I personally think you should have ended it after Carely finally broke Jack, it just seemed the more natural destination as that is what the 5 years were focused on. The ending that you scripted was just a little too hollywood, hero comes bursting through the door and saves the day. But, like said, still an epic story and excellently crafted. You are a very good writer.
Author's Response:
a perfectly acceptable critique. i knew i wasn't going to be able to please everyone with the ending i chose. if you really do prefer Jack being totally broken by Carly though, you can just pretend that the story ended with Chapter 29. thanks for reading!
Date: March 29 2012 5:51 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
I actually had to make an account just to tell u..... This was..... Omg..... This was a great series a great ending and ..... I can't believe it's over plse accept my complement tht u r the best this was so well written and I'm happy to say I was a part of it as was everyone who read along. Thnx!!
Author's Response:
well, thank you very much, i appreciate that you felt compelled to create an account just for this story. i hope you continue to enjoy what you see
Date: March 20 2012 7:54 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Uh oh, been 17 days since the last update, has anyone been in contact with Jack? He hasn't even responded to the reviews which is very unusual. Hope this one doesn't get left in limbo, I created an account just to comment on it! If any writer deserves a break it's Jack, the way he generated chapters was ridiculous, just hope this one doesn't fall into the bottomless pit of unfinished stories, it's too good to be left incomplete.
Oh well, if this is the end, I'm just going to pretend the last scene didn't happen, i could live with that ending :D
Author's Response:
thanks for your patience. i'm more or less back, and i intend on finishing the story soon as it was intended originally.
[Report This]Date: March 11 2012 6:39 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Ha, I'll admit some impatience as well, but please, enjoy your well-deserved break. Take as much time as you need! We'll all still be here when you grind out your next brilliant chapter! :D
Author's Response:
thank you. the break was definitely needed, trust me. i hope you enjoy what's to come
Date: March 11 2012 1:33 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
UGG when does the next chapter come out?
Date: March 04 2012 7:46 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Man right when jack finally accepts his life as his sisters toy and is happy with it, sophie comes out of nowhere and shrinks carly. I really hope to see a happy ending in this story. For jack and Carly that is.
Date: March 04 2012 12:37 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
You, Jacksmith, are a bastard man! How am I supposed to keep living my life day to day when I don't have the resolution of this entire series? The way I see it, there's only one option. You just have to stop writing so well so I'll stop caring about this amazing story. That's all. Please do that and get back to me, thanks.
Date: March 03 2012 9:03 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Wow, awesome chapter again! Great job in describing Jack's feelings, you really made the tranformation of his will totally acceptable. I also liked the change in Carly's attitude, was almost looking forward to what was up for the two next - I begged you to make Sophie save him, and now that it happened (or seemed to happen), I'm almost disappointed that we won't get to see more of that "loving bond" between those siblings ;)
It will be funny to see how Sophie reacts to Jacks complete brainwashing and his new attitude. Also, are you maybe going to go back to good old torture, only that this time a girl owns a girl? Maybe for a chapter or two ;)
Also, PLEASE make something happen that the shrinking potion and the knowledge about it never face the earth again... I really like the "compactness" of your concept, that only a few people are involved. The end of this chapter makes me afraid of maybe tens of parallel plots, because someone finds the shrinking spray and uses it one someone else again. I think I just don't like the thought of "leaving the original" characters and spectating new ones through their lives..
[Report This]Date: February 28 2012 5:26 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Wow, I kind of expected this would happen (otherwise his whole escape at home would have been pointless) but this still really changes the tone of the story. I think Jack's stubbornness in the face of impossible odds really caused a lot of people (including me) to root for him, now they are pretty pissed, haha.
I suspect he is going to wake up soon and discover what the he's gotten himself into. I sort of doubt he will stay broken for the rest of the story, as I think that might make him a less interesting narrator.
Plus, if Carly actually gets shrunken he needs to be sort of 'there' mentally in order to deliver that long-deserved punch in the face.
Date: February 28 2012 6:29 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
I think he should have made up two passwords. One to actually and really stop the program, as he did now, and one to only make Carly think that it's stopped, but actually isn't. So that the countdown keeps running in the background, but letting Carly believe that she reached her goal.
Yeah, he's a dumbass ;)
Please let Sophie save him... please! ^^
Date: February 28 2012 6:25 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
All I have to say is this, He, is, a, dumbass.
Date: February 26 2012 1:50 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Don't waste time responding to Parrot, Jack, he's clearly the one who needs to grow up. You just keep rocking these stories like you have been! There's nothing wrong with asking for reviews, it's the authors who threaten to scrap a story if they don't get enough reviews. It's basically saying that the people who have given reviews don't count, piss on them.
Some of us appreciate the time an effort put into writing a story, a story that is provided for free and that the reviews are the only type of compensation given.
Keep up the great work!
Date: February 26 2012 9:30 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
jacksmith5996, since feedback is energy, and your only compensation, I understand your request for reviews. I have enjoyed the story of jack, even though I did not immediately connect with the long "thought stream" segments in some previous chapters. I later concluded they did help understand his psychological state and personality better. There never has appeared to be a strong emotion of affection between the two main characters, leading me to assume the dominant character is a cold, incomplete person. Reading your story has inspired me to attempt in the near future a story with a similar opening plot, featuring conflict and treachery. Now on to the grand conclusion.
Date: February 25 2012 10:34 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
one hundred and forty five comments and still demanding comments after every fucking chapter with an exclamation point............grow. the. fuck. up.....pun intended
Author's Response:
geez, calm down, no one's forced to comment, it just motivates me to write more when people do
[Report This]Date: February 22 2012 5:05 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
I'm anxiously awaiting whatever conclusion you have planned. The past several chapters have been great. I'm normally all for the emotional and eventualy physical destruction of the tiny characters in these sorts of stories. However, you've woven such a great, character-driven tale, that a small part of me hopes Jack wins and Carly goes down for the count. But, that said, I could also see him giving him and accepting Carly as his owner and goddess for the rest of their lives. I have visions of him crawling towards the space between her big and second toe, and shuddering out an odor-driven and humiliating orgasm that seals the deal, so to speak. Keep it up. I would also like to see you take a more sadistic mother/son foot-oriented story, somtime!
[Report This]Date: February 22 2012 12:00 AM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Very interesting. At first I thought Carly was just delusional, which she still might be, but I think she found the hole in his plan. The trick is just to run out the clock. Once there's not enough time left and she physically can't do what he wants in time, then she's committed, and he has to choose between
1) giving up the password and becoming her pet, and
2) not giving up at which point he becomes evidence and she actually has to get rid of him, forever.
3) there's no option 3 because it's too late :) clever girl.
I still want to see where Sophie will fit in, after all that little detour has to be relevant again soon.
[Report This]Date: February 18 2012 8:01 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
I love how you used this chapter to subtly expose Carly's dependency on Jack and further define their complex relationship. It's as nuanced as it is fucked up. Well done.
[Report This]Date: February 18 2012 4:46 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
I hopping on the bandwagon and created a penname just to shoot you a review. I've been following this series since you first posted it and I personally think you've set the bar for new writers on this site. I was actually expecting Jenny to come in much earlier in the story, but I'm glad I was wrong. I'm really looking forward to what happens next and if her mindset has changed from the last story.
Author's Response: thanks for taking the time to do that, i appreciate it. i hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters
Date: February 16 2012 11:21 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
Who is this Jenny I wonder? His ex-girlfriend? I haven't read alot but retained an interest since this story is where Carly may get her comeuppance but we'll see, we'll see. Hope Jack survives though. I wonder how Sophie will help Jack, time to shrink Carly down I suppose.
Date: February 16 2012 9:36 PM Title: Chapter 1: Five Years Later
I admit it, I have no idea how this is going to turn out, this is one heck of a story!