not bad, this chapter is probably the best of the story, you seem to be putting some effort into including some good sensory details, so good work there.  where i'd say put a little extra time is in your character development; given the speed with which your protagonist was thrust into his new life, it can in a few places be hard to believe the actions of these total strangers, although i realize some leniency is needed here since these are the more fetishistic episodes of the tale.  additionally, it might not hurt to go through and fix up incorrect capitalizations, etc, as it can make reading smoother.  keep it up!

Hmm I'm half expecting an experience that put Jake off sex becuse when he was talking Nique in the last chapter I felt you dropped some subtle hints. I wonder if Mchelle will save him...