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Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: February 11 2010 1:55 PM Title: Everything changes

A lot more legible than the first chapter. But, it could still use quite a few periods and commas, here and there.

Reviewer: Carycomic Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: February 11 2010 1:51 PM Title: A nobody

Needs a lot of grammatical re-editing. Otherwise, not a bad opener. Just two questions, though: what's a "hpuse?" And, how does one get to own one?

Reviewer: asdfsdfasdf Signed [Report This]
Date: February 09 2010 8:36 PM Title: A nobody

I like where you're going with the story. Definately keep writing. Be sure to go into detail when you introduce giantesses such as clothing and their features.

Reviewer: DX Machina Signed starstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: February 09 2010 5:25 PM Title: A nobody

Agreed. It's a good start, if a bit slight. It's definitely worth expanding upon. I would say you should set a word count goal for the next chapter, and go for that. But keep writing. There's promise here.

Reviewer: SafetyPin Signed [Report This]
Date: February 09 2010 4:54 PM Title: A nobody

Yes, I I'd like to see more of this story.

I suggest you try to flesh it out a little more. 431 words isn't much considering the amount of ground you cover in this first "chapter". What is he going through? How does he feel through the shrinking process? Why is he shrinking? What does he see and smell? What is he thinking?

Please continue (with at least 800 words in the 2nd chapter).

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