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Reviewer: breastclimber Signed [Report This]
Date: December 23 2023 4:48 AM Title: Chapter 1

So I think this is an interesting idea but I have some comments.

1) The Goddess needs to be fleshed out some more.   How tall is she?  What are her little reactions as she gives the Giant her commands.   Maybe emotions on her face, maybe some physical reactions. 

2) The story is a bit short, I think you could lengthen it some more by describing more backstory, both for the Giant and the Goddess.  How did she find him?   What drew her to him?  Is she a native to this world, or did she come from somewhere else?   Also adding in more details, how did she end the city exactly?  Was it her entire foot, just her pinky toe?  Was it on purpose as a demonstration to the Giant how much more powerful she was?

3) Maybe an antagonist would be interesting to the story.  Does the Goddess or the Giant have a rival?    Would the Goddess defend our Hero giant with force?   If the Goddess has a rival would the rival try to steal the Giant from her?


Just some ideas... hopefully helpful to you.



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