[Report This]Date: December 16 2023 2:52 AM Title: A New Week (Part 3)
I can see why this chapter took so long to put together. It deals with some really complex thoughts and emotions from the characters. But I think you pulled it off pretty well!
I was particularly interested with Emily's perspective on being a good person. The question of whether doing good because it makes you feel good is selfish or selfless is one that I've actually spent a good deal of time thinking about, so this theme hit a little close to home for me. Ultimately, I agree with Jane's stance on this. Emily helps people and asks for nothing in return. That's selfless even if she is getting something out of it.
I mean, would saving Jane's life have only been an act of goodness if Emily was indifferent to whether Jane lived or died? Overthinking stuff like this can lead to a slippery slope, where good and evil kind of become meaningless. And a trap like that can be particularly harsh for someone like Emily, who was abused as a child.
And that abuse, holy crap! Here I was think Emily had lived a sheltered life! But after having read this chapter, I think it's easier to understand Emily's shock at the way tinies are treated in this world. When Jane tells her of the horrors her people face, it doesn't shock Emily; it shows her that the hatefulness she saw as a child is more widespread than she previously thought. It makes her think that maybe everyone else is hiding behind their warm, pleasant smiles, waiting to take out their frustrations on the poor defenseless Little Folk. The only difference between the nuns at that orphanage and all of those tiny-torturers is that the nuns had to hide what they did and pretend, while the others are almost encouraged by society to carry out their abuse.
That's an even more horrifying revelation than it would have been if she had just been ignorant to people like that in the first place!
As for Jane, I think her lack of self-worth makes a lot of sense. I mean, she kind of wrote off almost being eaten as not being that big a deal, as it's a possibility they have to face every day. And while she can be fiery when talking other people up, we don't see her show nearly as much passion when dealing with herself. Having made friends with Emily and Maya, she cares more about them than she does herself, and, having felt that she came between them, was willing to kill herself in a misguided effort to try to bring them together.
Thankfully, she realize that this will have the opposite effect. I just hope at some point she realizes that she too is worth that effort and willingness to sacrifice, but a week probably isn't enough time to discover something like that about yourself, so I think you nailed the kind of headspace she would be at by this time.
I also like how much Jane contrasts from Nadia. Nadia doesn't have problems with her self-worth at all. Yeah, she tried to kill herself too, but that was when she thought she was going to die anyway and it was to spite her would-be murderer. But Nadia definitely has that fire for herself that Jane lacks right now, and it's really interesting to see the two of them be in two very different situations and how each one is handling it.
And lastly, it's a bit sad to see how naïve Maya is. But that makes sense too, as she's pretty young and seems upbeat and positive. Of course she's going to want to see the best in Suki. And of course Emily is only going to see the worst in someone like Suki and go out of her way to protect Jane, even from the naivety of someone like Maya.
This also shows that Shana was right about both Maya and Emily, as the former is just as over-trusting as her big sister believes and the latter is willing to go as far as it takes to protect Jane (okay, I still think Shana's fear of Emily murdering her is still a bit unfounded, but at least we can see a bit of what she was talking about regarding the change in Emily through her fight with Maya).
Again, I feel like you tackled some complex material very well here. I'm really enjoying these characters, and all of this setup is doing a great job of building anticipation for when they all cross paths once again!
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review!
I'm glad you think the chapter turned out pretty well. Even though I've had it in my head for a long time, when certain heavy topics are brought up, it's extremely difficult to get it right.
If you put in too little drama, it will sound bland; if you put in too much, it will sound ridiculous. And even if you get it right, it can be divisive or downright alienating.
In my experience as a reader, there have been several times when I have stopped reading a story for this very reason, and it has given me a better understanding of how difficult it is to write and why certain writers shy away from certain subjects.
Nevertheless, I felt that this chapter was necessary to explain Emily's behavior.
As for Jane and Nadia, I wanted to write them as two opposite extremes of the same situation.
While both lived difficult lives as Little Folk, Jane's life was community-oriented, eager to live, but aware and accepting that her life was expendable for the good of the collective. Nadia, by contrast, grew up in a small group that lived on the margins of the community, which made the constant losses more severe and less justifiable, and eroded her being to the point that when she was alone, she cared only for herself.
The next chapter, which I will publish soon, and the last of the 'Fall-out' saga, will finally feature Maya in the lead role... and Shana as well.
Thanks again for the review!