[Report This]Date: November 02 2023 3:33 AM Title: Suki's Day (Part 3)
I really like how these last two chapters contrast with one another so deeply.
Emily and Jane are super sweet together and reading about them just doing day-to-day stuff is heartwarming. But Suki is bone-chillingly evil, not only in the way that she taunts poor Nadia and literally gets off on the thought of torturing Little Folk, but she actually threw a corpse at a little kid! That's harsh!
Going back to the previous chapter, and I mentioned this the last time we checked up on Emily and Jane, I feel like you're setting up a unique dynamic between our two protagonists, and I'm a big fan of where you're going with them. While Emily serves as Janes protector from the horrors Little Folk have to face everyday, Jane has to, in a way, protect Emily from the reality of what those horrors actually are.
Emily is such a sweet and innocent character, and her finding the strength to step up when it comes to keeping Emily safe from threats like Suki gives her just enough of an edge to actually do that. However, "Barbie" is blissfully ignorant to just how dark Jane's world actually is. And whenever Jane slips up and starts casually talking about the terrible things she dealt with on a daily basis before Emily saved her, her giant friend seems almost traumatized, like she doesn't know how to process what she's hearing.
In other words, Emily is shielding Jane from the giant world around her, and Jane is shielding Emily from the darkness that lurks within more of her fellow humans than she can imagine.
I thought this led to an interesting exchange between the two when Emily not-so-subtly telegraphed that she was trying to keep from reminding Jane about everything she went through the day before. Jane was annoyed by this, as it probably briefly reminded her of those humans that are nice to Little Folk but think of them more as pets than people, like she thought Emily didn't think she could handle being reminded of such things. But Jane was able to realize that Emily's wasn't doing it because of that at all. Rather, Emily just didn't want to see her friend suffer unnecessarily (and she clearly wasn't aware that Jane likely dealt with life-threatening circumstances on a daily basis before meeting her).
This built off of the conversation they had the last time we saw them perfectly, as Emily made it clear that she sees Jane as just as much of a person as she is. Without Emily convincing her of that then, she probably would have reacted differently and much less pleasantly. Instead, she's able to brush those initial feelings aside and start teasing Emily about other things.
Also, I loved Jane innocently perving on Emily throughout the chapter. Not only was it straight up adorable, but it made sense as well. Struggling to survive every day likely doesn't leave a lot of room for modesty or embarrassment, so she just says whatever comes to mind, no matter how embarrassing it is for Emily. This lack of filter is also a great way to distinguish Jane from the rest of the characters, so well done on that front, too.
As for the latest chapter, the big takeaway here is that we're further clued into Suki's lack of human connection, which helps to explain her inhuman behavior. Not only does she have no real friends and apparently cold parents, but she was also spoiled as well. That makes for a lethal combination for those she can take out her frustrations on (at a subconscious level, of course), which just so happens to be the Little Folk and apparently the occasional stray child.
Also, it's pretty funny that the one time Suki called Shana, Shana ghosted her. That seems like something Shana would do.
We also get some insight into why it is that the Little Folk remained in the area for so long, even with Shana trampling them uncaringly over and over again. Someone was providing them with food, which probably made it worth it for the tinies to risk getting stepped on, as I'm sure food is hard to come by for them.
And Nadia's mixed emotions about her master make a lot of sense, too. She cared about him and is sad that he's gone, but she also feels like, in trying to save her life, he condemned her to a fate worse than death. I'm interested to see if he keeps this view as the story moves forward. I think her master was thinking that, as long as she's alive, there's still hope. If Nadia ends up finding a way out of her situation, she might be more accepting of that lesson.
But yeah, I feel pretty bad for Nadia. I hope she makes it through the next chapter!
Author's Response:
I am really glad that the last two chapters are of your liking!
I put a lot of thought into the plot and how I could make each of the characters unique, and I'm glad to see that it shows!
I'm also happy that I was able to portray what I wanted with the dialog in a correct way. Your interpretation of the characters is completely on the mark, or at least exactly the way I wanted them to be portrayed.
Jane was someone that I struggled with quite a bit, but I did create some back story for her and her race during the two week hiatus, and developed a personality for her that you have correctly defined.
My personality compels me to inject a little humor, sometimes even a bit dark, even in more serious moments. But I am glad that these moments of levity were successful without being a detriment to the atmosphere.
In those chapters of character development, I took the approach of doing a couple of "slice of life" chapters before I got into the hard stuff with Suki. Then relax for a few more chapters before getting going with Suki again.
The plot is maybe a little bit too predictable, but I hope that I have put in some nice surprises and action just the same.
One part I was a little unsure about, but fortunately you didn't find problematic, was adding another little girl to the story.
My first idea was to include an adult, but I should have either made them similar to Emily, thus making her no longer unique, or a tiny rights activist, but then there would have been no point in their commitment to bringing food to the little people when they could simply take them home or to a shelter.
Besides, it would have been far too easy for a grown-up to stand up to the small, frail Suki, unless they didn't care about the little people's lives, but then they had no reason to be there in the first place.
My second thought was someone naïve but unbiased, so young, possibly another child, and I wanted it to be a boy.
But I discarded this idea as well. A boy might have intimidated Suki or at least presented her with an immediate problem that she would not have been able to solve given her personality.
For this reason, I decided to sneak in another little girl into the story.
It allowed me to both make the point I was trying to make and also to strengthen Suki's role as the ‘antagonist’.
In any case, she should be the last child in the story… I hope.