[Report This]Date: August 02 2023 10:46 PM Title: Ending 7 - Gift From A Fan
Okay, I finally got caught up with this. Also, just a heads up that this is going to be pretty long.
I thought all of the ending were pretty good, but the last three definitely stand out. The first four endings were pretty solid, and the mentalities of the first four Noah recipients were different enough to make each one worth reading, at the same time they were all pretty similar (even Aunt Nest put him through the same thing, albeit unintentionally, despite being the only one of those four to not hate him). That's not necessarily a bad thing (and it's probably exactly what the commissioner wanted), but it sure did give those last three chapters a very different feel.
Catch 22s are almost always interesting, so Ubersalamander's ending piqued my interest pretty quickly. If only Noah knew Lily wasn't real, then he could have enjoyed his time with Alexis. But, of course, he never would have sent himself to her in the first place if he knew that. There's something morbidly intriguing about the difference between Noah living his fantasy and going through hell was the very untruth that put him in that situation to begin with.
Describing how Noah's body was betraying his mind was also a really nice touch. That can be one of the more damaging psychological consequences of rape, when our bodies react involuntarily to it. That can lead to some serious mental health issues, and it's inclusion here made the scene feel a little bit real.
Also, in a house where everyone else was entering through the back door, you boldly chose to bust down the front one. Bold choice!
As for Fatedmeal's ending, well, holy shit! That was definitely The Darkest Timeline.
But first, I was pretty impressed with how fluid the transition was between Noah and Emma in the first chapter and the opening to this one. I really wouldn't have guessed that I different writer came in and took over those characters. That can be really hard to do, but you made it look pretty easy here. I also appreciated seeing those two casually interact with each other one more time. They're really fun characters, at least when they're not being shoved up someone's ass!
And holy fuck is Sakura easily the most evil package recipient in this whole story! If I hadn't read the tags at he start of the chapter, I would have thought she was legitimately trying to help Noah at first. She came off just as kind and polite to the reader as the story says she does to her fans. The reveal of what exactly she has planned for him (assuming he survives the flight to Japan) is absolutely brutal!
Earlier in the story, I left a review about how these endings would be more impactful if they showed Emma's failed efforts to save Noah (word count prevented that, though). This chapter is the only one to do that, and it turned out even more hauntingly gut-wrenching than I anticipated. Having her question whether she told Sakura Noah's name just a bit too late is a classic trope, but it's used extremely well here. In this case, it's too late for Emma to do anything with that information, so all she's left to do is replay the conversation in her head for the rest of her life, trying so hard to remember it correctly, always doubting herself.
And then for Noah to find out that Lily isn't real, that his best friend the reason he's in this situation, AND that Sakura was betraying him all at once, well, I said that if someone was going to go dark, go pitch black, and you certainly did that here. Well done!
And finally, my favorite ending and the one I was hoping to see, Emma receiving the package herself. I have to admit, I kind of expected Noah to go through a P.O. Box, likely one Emma used to buy the sex toys she watches Livy review, but you made Noah forgetting her home address into part of the story, and it worked really well here.
Given how the previous four endings went, I was curious how Noah was going to end up Emma's ass, given the romantic undertones subtly implied in the first chapter. The mixture of guilt and anger from Emma served as a great way to make that seem like a natural thing to happen without ignoring Emma's feelings for Noah. Also, the fact that we're left to wonder whether Noah loves or hates it in there leaves open the possibility that this isn't even punishment for him, as Emma chooses to believe.
I like that neither Emma nor Noah openly admit to their feelings for each other, especially since I don't think Noah's nearly as close to realizing how he really feels about his best friend as she is about him. That line about Lily just being Emma in a pretty dress seems to hint that he's starting to see that the girl he fell for is the one holding him in the palm of her hand, but he cut Emma off before she could ask directly and he's a pretty dense guy, so we're not quite sure just where he's at with that yet.
Emma, on the other hand, her feelings are pretty clear, although she does still seem slightly in denial about it. I mean, she embraced giantessism for Noah, something she was laughing at him over before, and she even acknowledges the will-they-won't-they aspect of their relationship. She also seems pretty happy with the thought of keeping Noah on or in her at all times (albeit with the excuse of keeping him away from her mother), which is a far cry from the end of the first chapter, when she decided to help him find a nice girl. That makes for a nice little metaphor about keeping him close always.
And even though she seems pretty set on keeping Noah tiny, based on her comment about them being bored, I'm sure she'll help him turn back to normal size eventually if he makes a really big deal out of it.
Anyway, that's enough rambling from me. Excellent work, everyone! This isn't me usual thing, but I really enjoyed it!
Author's Response:
Oh boy, this is a long one indeed, and one I can't respond to alone, so I asked Ubersalamander and Fatedmeal if they had anything they wanted to say as well since GW only allows one response per review lol
Uber didn't have much more to say than thank you for enjoying his story and left the more detailed response to both Fatedmeal and myself, so on behalf of Uber: Thank you!
As for Fatedmeal, he wrote up his own reply:
Yo! Fatedmeal here. Thanks It Was Me for reading through all of our chapters. Yea, I have a proclivity for darker endings. I really appreciated your comment about my ending being The Darkest Timeline. Cue Evil Abed from Community. To address your first focus on my ending, I too really enjoyed Noah's and Emma's dynamic, and it is why I decided to write an ending in the first place. So reading you say that I captured them so well was probably the best thing I read that day. I knew that Nrawk was going to be writing five endings, I just didn't know what. So I wanted to do something different, but not totally out of the blue. Thus, I focused on the samurai movie flashback with the orange juice scene. From there I was able to happily include an intro involving Emma and Noah interacting to give some additional background about Mizuhara Sakura before actually delving into her interactions with Noah. So that she felt more real to the readers. Thus, came the part of how to present her. How I would describe Noah's interpretation of her according to her public persona. How she reacts to Noah at first. To convince the reader of the same perspective of Noah, and then the reveal that is both consistent with the information preceding and enlightening at the same time. I really felt like a samurai myself in writing this dialogue. Not wasting any excess movements to create a precise stroke (in this case keystroke instead of a katana) in presenting Sakura-san. I was debating whether to include the tags in the chapter description or not, but I wanted to maintain a consistency between chapters and I did not want readers to feel slighted when they realize the rug was pulled out from under them. I've also heard great feedback for the scene involving Emma and Sakura-san from others, so I appreciate you mentioning that to give some bearing as for what parts of the story were executed exceptionally well. Thanks for the long reply, I hope you don't mind that I sent a long one back.
And now for my response, to which I am overwhelmed by the praise and thought put into your review. You didn't just read this story, you delved deeper into aspects of it that even I didn't realize were there or intended to create. I am so happy that Emma's ending is your favorite, as it was a bonus ending I thought up after outlining all the endings Stargate1990's wanted to see from the list of examples he provided. And while I have no favorites among my adorable children (aka stories/chapters), in this case, Ella and Emma's were the standouts for me. Emma and Noah's relationship was especially fun and challenging to write since Star wanted them to be close but not romantically involved or even romantically interested in each other (overtly). The line between platonic friendship and romantic is easily blurred, especially with friends as close as Emma and Noah, so I was always concerned I either made them a bit too friendly and comfortable with each other, but seeing both your and Star's interpretations on their relationship makes me believe I got the balance almost perfect. Some people can see them as close and comfortable friends, and some can see them as a couple that doesn't realize they're together yet. I like to think that no matter what, whether they do end up as a couple or not, Noah and Em will always be there for each other when they need each other the most.
I'm also glad that I made it make sense that Noah was just too distracted to recognize Emma's address. Though you don't have to read each ending to enjoy how they play out, in the Mia and Ava endings he also didn't recognize their addresses, even justifying the mistake to Mia saying he never mails her anything. I figured it was fine, more or less, to apply the same logic with Emma's home address. How often would he have to mail something to Emma when he can just go over and give it to her? Still, it was a bit of a stretch since it would be so close to his own address, but that's niether here nor there lol
But having Emma just be so relieved that Noah was safe, while also upset that she was so close to losing him forever be the catalyst for a shift in her feelings for him is a good read on that development, especially coming off of four ending prior where she did lose him. It makes her shift from worrying for to slightly possessive of Noah a natural progression in their relationship. Plus, even without that, there was no way she wasn't going to mess with Noah when he was so small, even if there really was a Lily and he mistakingly shipped himself to her, Emma likely would have at least dropped him down the back of her panties ^^
As for the future of their relationship, as you said, it's up to interpretation. Both of them are now aware that Noah had/has feelings for some part of Emma that's more than close friends, and as you pointed out, Emma's less willing to chance losing him like that again, which may prompt her into action. Who knows, maybe Noah won't ever want to return to normal once Emma's had her fun :P
But, to stop myself from rambling any more, once again, from all of us, thank you so much for reading our stories, and for the detailed review. Your enthusiasm and fondness for the characters comes through in spades and it means the world to us.
Hopefully, we continue to write stories you can enjoy just as much going forward :D